I walk the line.
Which line? Which code?
I am no Dexter to have a code to live by.
I make things up as I go.
More of an impulsive code to live by.
Mainly my thinking in influenced by what I think is right or wrong. And I strongly intend to do the right.
I don’t know whether this is stupid or not. I am too young to understand. But I can tell you what I am sure of.
I don’t go back on my word. I don’t think it is the right conduct. If I say I’ll reach by so and so time I shall. If I said I’ll do it then I will.
I read another post; which is remarkably similar to how I think. And the one thing that clicked was how it was mentioned about helping others.
I like helping others. I never say no to people who seek my help. And I try, really try not to show them any arrogance, not to patronize them or make them feel inferior.
Big deal if you don’t know everything, here I’ll help you.
Unfortunately it is never seen as that way. My assistance was viewed as showing off. So I started becoming choosy in helping others.
I can lie and say that I say ‘No’ to those who I don’t want to help. But I don’t. I just don’t help them completely. I don’t like wasting my efforts to assist those who bad mouth me after help is received.
Because I know how hard it is to not know anything. To not receive any help. To do everything on my own. To try and fail, again and again.
I still do.
After such an experience the best I can do is make sure that people around me, ones that I really care about, don’t have to face a similar situation.
I still have a lot to learn about the ways of this world. About which people should be helped and which people to forsake. About whom to care about and whom to dismiss.
But I hope that day never comes when I am changed completely. When I only think of myself, using ‘everyone does the same’ as a justification.
This is the code that I live by. Not many understand it. Not sure I understand it completely. Only know that this is how I should be.