You are confident.
You are sure.
Everything’s going the way it is supposed to.
And as suddenly as that things change. A mistake here, big or small and everything changes.
Confidence gone, vaporized by a ray gun. Nothing’s sure. Every path holds a appeal. Every path holds a snarl. And a voice appears in you head.
Whispering at first, but soon starts dominating your thoughts. The voice tells you to take the path which you haven’t considered.
Voice exhumes your past. Makes you face your past mistakes. Reminds you of all the failures.
And there is no beating that voice. It says your successes are luck. It wasn’t you, it says, it was beginner’s luck. Not you not you, it repeats. And you believe it. Because somewhere deep you know it is true.
Somewhere deep you fear that maybe it wasn’t me who got things right, maybe it was just dumb luck. Voice wins.
Fear turns to phobia. And it takes a shortcut to doubting yourself. Buried fears mount up by the dozen. Shoulders drop lower that chest. Face buried somewhere in the neck.
Always amazes me. The Ease of falling from confidence and surety to despair.
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