It has been a couple of weeks since I started attending play-writing workshop. Next Thursday will be the fifth & last session. The next session requires me to submit a 5 page script of my work.
I am not looking forward to submitting it.
My submission is going to be visible to everyone, not just the instructor. The other students in the workshop know each other, are familiar with each other because they have worked with each other or have seen each other’s work. I am an outsider.
From the very first session, I haven’t been able to shake the feeling that I don’t actually belong in this class, I am just there because they had a seat to fill.
If someone told me what I just admitted, I would admonish them for belittling themselves. Regardless, I am not holding back & I am trying my best in the workshop. I ask questions, I am thorough in my writing and mapping out my ideas. I am not letting the fact that I feel like I don’t belong distract me from what I set out to achieve with this workshop.
However, at the next session I will have my work read during class and all I want to do is take a sick day. There is one thing thinking you are an outsider, there will be another thing finding out I actually don’t belong there. That I, a blogger if I can call myself that, don’t belong in the workshop with people who are intimately familiar with the intricacies of theater.
I have sent in my submission for the week and hopefully the class is pain-free.