Manan Pandya’s Guest Post: How Lonely are we?


Thank you so much Manan for agreeing to guest post on my blog. He wrote an awesome and insightful post about human conditioning and loneliness and here it is:


There comes a time in everyone’s life when we sit down, far away from the world and its people, lost in the thoughts of how truly connected are we to the society. In this moment of self reflection we are often haunted by the thoughts that we are distant from all the people that we supposedly know and are in dire need of companionship. The feeling of invariably being with someone is what is craved by our mind.

Yet in truth a high degree of loneliness is an inescapable part of being a sensitive and intelligent human.

It is highly unlikely that we find someone who is exactly on the same page of the soul as us. This is because every individual on earth is a product of different circumstances, lifestyle, beliefs and morals. We often wish of other people to understand us but are let down when they fail to fully comprehend us. The problem is sure to get worse the more thoughtful and perceptive we are. There will simply be less people like us around. It is believed that working together is the solution to many of the problems, that two heads are better than one. But the truth is every successful pursuit came from an idea of an individual.

When you embrace the fact that in the long journey of life you have to do the traveling and that the people around you are just like road signs meant to guide you but not walk for you, then you can begin harnessing your solace as strength. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not implying that we were never meant to socialize. Prefer others company, but value yours more. We shouldn’t be frightened or discouraged by the lack of company. While we may not have in our immediate surroundings people like us, but others separated across space and time might exist. This realization helps us in connecting with them in a far better way than what we have experienced before.

Once we accept it we can get creative. You could find yourself in the words of a poem written by a poet decades ago or the lyrics of a singer who described your blues even before you were born. When you begin to enjoy your own company, you start having deepened conversations you have with yourself. This in true sense cultivates intimacy. You could write, create music, blogs knowing that someone somewhere is going to be on the same page of thought on that topic.

Knowing that inner voice inside your head is the most important thing that you could do. Use this to think clearly about what you want to achieve in life. Done perfectly this is really helpful in getting you back to focus on things that really matter. Conclusively ,it is extremely necessary for everyone spend that time everyday when you need to answer only to yourself.


Feel free to check out his interview here. I am open for more Guest bloggers and feel free to contact me on itsmayurremember@gmail.com!

 

If we are having coffee: Some Reminders


If we are having coffee(or tea), I would tell you that something happened that made me want to take writing seriously again.

If we do have coffee, I would also tell you that this is my first #weekendcoffeeshare post. I always loved this idea, I tried it in real life too, however I failed to keep up with half of it. I don’t know if I will be able to do this for long either.

It has been rough couple of days. No actually, it has been a rough couple of months. There was no particular reason, there were many of them. So while studying and speaking to a dear friend of mine something unlocked.

I told her to grow up, I told her to have patience and learn how to deal with things happening because of the wishes she is taking. I told her to take care of her loved ones first before she breaks down. And the reason is not so noble: I told her that she can’t take care of her loved ones when she is the one who needs help.

I don’t remember where I read this. I must have because I picked it up, adopted it without breaking a sweat and now I realize that I have been doing this for so long it is who I am. So I opened up ‘Pocket’ to try find where I read it, it is my treasure of the posts I have loved ever since I started blogging.

I forgot what it was like to feel through reading words. I read one and then I read many. I read this post, one which beautifully described the experience of having a dog: it made me laugh and sad, it made me miss my dog.

Then this post, one where she spoke about her familiarity with funerals and death of David Bowie and I felt her pain.

I wept, I laughed, I ached and I smiled amidst tears. Then I wept even more when I read this post, something that I always do when I read this, one where a other speaks about her dying daughter, I never found out what happened afterwards, I don’t have the courage to. I laughed at this guy’s take on Indian culture, on this blogger’s collection of Cat quotes, this post about depression, this post about childhood & identity, on this absolutely beautiful tale about Guitar and music. No wonder I tried to pick up a guitar afterwards and I am still trying.

If we are having coffee, then I think I must have mentioned all of this before too. I don’t care, I cherish the reminders. I just know that in the space and time I forgot how or what blogging was. I struggled with closing this blog, tried and somehow still struggling.

I am looking for a new place, or found it, giving exams and so much more. I didn’t sleep two days in a row, studied and realized that I still have a long way to go in studies. This week reflected on mostly my studies.

If we were to have coffee(virtually again) I would love that. I know it is not the way #weekendcoffeeshare posts are written but this is my take on it.

Guest Post #7: What is Writing to Me?


I started writing when I was six years old.

Back then I was convinced I was going to be a writer. I’d spend my evenings carefully ruling out sheets of A4 paper so I could write up my stories and take them in to show the teacher the next morning. I recently caught up with my teacher who got me interested in writing. She remembers me bringing in pages of stories for her. I loved turning my ideas into words and then handing them to someone for a read. Since then, only my handwriting has improved and my audience has increased, slightly.

I rarely put much of my real life into my writing, but I’ve used my family and friends multiple times when writing poems. They often provide the basis strongest poetry. My mother likes to say that she can tell the difference between the poems about my real life and the ones that are not. She has the advantage of being related to me though, so she might not have the most objective view on the matter.

This raises the question I wanted to look at in this post:

‘How much truth do writers actually put into their work?’

As a poet, I can put a lot of myself into a poem. Similarly, I can put a lot of someone else into a poem. I can just as easily take an imaginary someone and create a poem around them and I can write a poem about myself. Perhaps my ability comes from writing characters in prose. However, writing about me is the hardest task when trying to put pen to paper.

Writing personal poetry can be akin to tearing a chunk out of your soul. You’re putting yourself on display. Often it can just be as simple to create someone entirely new and let them tell their story instead. For example with Daydream Girl, a poem I wrote:

 

They called her Daydream Girl.

Eyes, tucked away in the letters of books, spine crackled and binding frayed. She was music, tripping up over loose pavement stone in the hopes of digging out stories long ago buried in the sands of time.

Her hands were skeleton keys pushed into every lock on sunken chests pulled up from abandoned rib-cages. Took care not to hurt the crustaceans as she pulled them away mail-link by mail-link until only the under armour remained.

She poured laughter down my throat and burnt out my lungs with song. Left me bellowing misty dragons into the night. Ran my hands across the tempo of her chest and told me to dance with the beat.

Ba-dum.

Ba-dum.

Ba-dum.

They will not tell me where to find her again.

These words are brittle,

there is nothing of you here

and I am tired.

When I wrote this I was only thinking writing something for the prompt that was fun to read and had some cool metaphors in. I was having fun playing around with language and thinking about this person that I had made up to play the role of speaker. It wasn’t about me, though some of me may leaked in, it was about a character that was bubbling around in the back of my brain. This ability to experiment with different characters is perhaps my favourite part of writing.

Take for instance Neil Gaiman. He writes for adults as well as children. He writes novels, short stories, fairy tales and comics. He talks openly about how he never wanted to be a writer who wrote ‘that’ sort of book. He once said that readers know what sorts of books are his books because they have his name on the front and in my opinion that is what all writing should be. The choice to hop genre, or to write both personal and fictional poetry, or to throw out children and adult stories is all you. Writing should be unlimited and writers should be unbridled in seeking out new ways to express the words that they want to say.

 

Writing is about imagination. Nothing more, nothing less.


 

The post is written by Carol J ForresterShe mailed me this a long time ago and I got around to posting it now. Carol is a poetry and prose writer and her blog Writing and Works is a wonderful collection of her writings. Lastly, her novel Darkened Daughter is in the works!

Quitting Blogging, Missing Birthdays and all the rest


Around the time I started working, I was out of ideas, I had nothing to write anymore and even worse I was hesitant to share the things I used to share so bravely when I was back in college. Moreover, I was frantic over the fact that my blog, something that I am dabbing with my soul for so long is simply refusing to fly. So a month ago, I decided to quit blogging. That seemed like the perfect solution to things, no more blog posts and then no more stats to worry about.


In the last two months six of my friends had their birthdays. Before I had left college I had promised all of my friends I will keep in touch with them. Now almost six months later (where did the six months go!), I cannot even remember their birthdays. I missed six birthdays, I never checked birthdays on Facebook. Some of them understood, some of them cursed me playfully. Although I am never the one for partying I do intend to be there for friends especially on the big days. I couldn’t even remember my best friends birthdays.


I hated my decision to quit, but when I knew the only way for me to enjoy this again is to make sure I stop looking at the page views. I even gave a trial run of writing in my phone for a couple of days as a personal journal. It was good, that made me realize what is more important when I blog here. I ended up catching up with the bloggers who I follow and I loved what they wrote. I read and I read more than I can ever.


I called up my friends, apologized for not being there with them on their day. To my best friend I offered to buy a gift. And I never do gifts, the entire idea is highly overrated to me. But the guilt that rode me made me offer.Luckily, friend here never thought too big of it. So did all the other friends, they understood. I must have done something right by them, otherwise I have seen friendships broken with such little thought.


Another one of my blog friend quit blogging around the same time I contemplating to quit. She started blogging when I started and her blog I really enjoyed. Even though she wrote only about nonsensical things (sorry :P) I liked her blog. With her leaving this place, I felt bereavement of sorts. We are still in touch but she hardly ever blogs anymore, regardless of the fact she has a new blog.


I was afraid moreover that my own blog can be used against me. It took some will to convince myself that the only people reading this will be the ones who actually want to know what is happening in my life. My blog is going to be updated today after almost a month. Only yesterday did I realize that maybe I do have somethings to say. I will always have new things to say. I just need to stop making excuses to not write here.


I did meet my friends again. Not all of them, but with them the old familiarity returns however tarnished. I speak less with them, I speak less with everyone. I think I did make some new friends again, actual friends and not bullshit ones. I always had a plan to get my shit together so to say, only tonight I am beginning to try.

Now, as I proofread this I realize my writing is still very bad. My thoughts muddled and yet I am going to try big things like #NaNoWriMo. I have no idea how am I actually going to achieve that. Neither do I know how I will actually continue writing and how am I going to prioritize things in life. I guess I should say I am sorry for almost deleting my blog, I should say I am sorry to my friends for forgetting birthdays. But enough self-pity for a day.

Editing


(This post is a long overdue. I could never get it right. Another post inspiration, Adi’s poem)

Write a fiction.
Write a story.
Write a novel.

And as you write you make characters. Some are nothing but a figment of your imagination, some inspired by real life people in your life, friend or foe.

And you go ahead with it. You write the characters, explore their different dimensions and ambitions. You want to invent something new. And after a while the characters become lifeless. There’s no depth to them, there’s no variations and their roles in the story is just redundant.  The characters are not what you intended to produce, the story doesn’t need them to move forward. The story moves forward without them just fine, even better mostly. The characters on whom you spent months evolving and building, the manifestation of the same are worthless.

Editing. That’s the key. It removes the unwanted to give a complete picture. No, not the complete perfect picture but surely a picture that’s better than before. And most of the time, it seemed like a really bad idea to edit out the characters. To not have those characters continue on till the very end of the story. But you have to let it go.

And that’s life, isn’t it?

People look great in the beginning. They give hopes, give a sense of goal when you meet them, but that’s short lived. Eventually, it stops working out.

I can try having certain people in life. Struggle to evolve a relationship with them. But when it doesn’t work, I have to let them go. There’s only sorrow down that road. The emotional investment will never be returned, neither it will be valued.

Because the more I try to hold on, the more agonizing it will become. And that’s the thing, sometimes it isn’t necessary to have the pain. It is not worth it. Those people aren’t worth it.

I would rather have the people who say “Thank you for being there always” rather than those who can’t see I have stood with them through it all.

So I’m gonna let it go. It isn’t easy. It maybe a mistake. But when I try to hold on to people who would rather be with someone else, I am begging to be hurt. It is selfish. It is going to be so easy to revert back to them. And when I know where that would lead to, I am the idiot for reverting.

And I can’t do it. Never again.

The world’s big. Thousands of people I have yet to meet. And the next time I meet another character like that, I should know better than to try  harder.

I guess I have some editing to do.

Heart’s


Inspiration:
‘There’s no present or future, there’s just past happening over and over again’- Eugene O’Neil


Heart’s a kid,
It jumps like nothing else.

Heart’s an adult,
It carries a burden.

Heart’s fickle,
It doesn’t know what it wants.

Heart’s adamant,
It has to get what it wants.

Heart’s selfish,
Nobody else matters.

Heart’s selfless,
Everyone else matters.

Heart’s naive,
Isn’t ready for this world.

Heart’s stupid,
Always makes the same mistakes.

Heart’s cold,
Antarctica may be warmer.

Heart’s hot,
Pumps enough to fill oceans.

Heart’s sorrow,
Heart’s joy,
Heart’s fragile,
Heart’s tensile.

Heart’s human,
Or humans are hearts.

Inadequate


Daily Prompt:
( Green-Eyed Lady

We all get jealous from time to time — what wakes the green-eyed monster for you?)

Jealousy is relatively easy to talk about. And social networking doesn’t exactly truncate jealousy. The usual things like hanging out, missing out or not having enough money or opportunity does and make almost everyone jealous. And relationships. Definitely.

But I’m not gonna talk about jealousy.

Its not jealousy. No that’s the wrong word.

I compare my life with others. Subconsciously. Autonomously.

Recently I discovered love of having honest conversations with people. Real people. People who would open up and talk about themselves and talk about the things that matter.

And the more I do that, more stories I gather.

People and their stories are amazing. Some climbed to Everest and same people trip a lot. Some stupid people haven’t been to Marine drive even after staying in Mumbai for twenty years. Though I don’t blame them, I know the feeling. Some can’t stop talking about their hometown.

They talk about everything. Family problems. Issues with friends. Professors. And the usual suspects.

People I met on blog are no less. The stories I read here torment the heart, soothe the heart. Make me laugh and make me cry. Some fascinate and some I can’t read more than five words because well I can’t understand what’s been written.

Yesterday when talking about the most embarrassing things which happened to us, I had none. Nada. Zip.
And that’s my usual answer to many things. I have to pick my brains for a long time and most of the times my stories are so puny. So inadequate.

And that’s funny because I basically write stories for hobby! I should be able to voice a past experience as a great story shouldn’t I?

A few years ago this would depress me. Sadden me because I would have felt I haven’t achieved much. Haven’t done anything.

And this is wrong isn’t it? I am supposed to say bravo and wow to their stories ain’t I?

Maybe someday I will stop feeling inadequate when I compare myself to others. But if that happens then I won’t push myself for something new either.

Guess I don’t have the answer to that one.

Let’s see what others have written:

http://jitterygt.wordpress.com/2014/04/04/the-match-part-5-rustys-destination/
http://wangsgard.com/wellness/self-defeating-beliefs-23374/
http://bobbeck1600.wordpress.com/2014/04/04/daily-prompt-green-eyed-lady/
http://medinaque.wordpress.com/2014/04/04/daily-prompt-green-eyed-lady/
http://sabethville.wordpress.com/2014/04/04/dp-daily-prompt-green-eyed-lady/
http://purplesus.wordpress.com/2014/04/04/daily-prompt-green-eyed-lady/
http://sarahsemeniuk.wordpress.com/2014/04/04/dirty-envy/
http://tnkerr.wordpress.com/2014/04/04/daily-prompt-green-eyed-lady/
Green-Eyed Lady
http://godthroughmyeyes.wordpress.com/2014/04/04/green-eyed-lady/
http://evilqueensandcoffeebeans.wordpress.com/2014/04/04/114/
http://dailymusing57.wordpress.com/2014/04/04/daily-prompt-jealousy/
http://therivermom.com/2014/04/04/reciprocal/
http://anawnimiss.wordpress.com/2013/10/19/of-wickedness/
http://thewriteweb.wordpress.com/2014/04/04/wake-up-o-sleeping-stone/
http://mahitravel.wordpress.com/2014/04/04/daily-prompt-green-eyed-monster/
http://marthakennedy.wordpress.com/2014/04/04/2635/
http://averildean.wordpress.com/2014/04/04/aces/
http://arakawafiction.wordpress.com/2014/04/04/napowrimo-day-4-smitten/
http://marthakennedy.wordpress.com/2014/04/04/2635-greeneyed-lady/
http://jenndonneo.com/2014/04/04/daily-prompt-green-eyed-lady/
http://flowersandbreezes.wordpress.com/2014/04/04/leave-me-free/
http://zainabjavid.wordpress.com/2014/04/04/how-do-they-do-it/
Daily Prompt: Green Eyed Lady
http://lifeisgreat0.wordpress.com/2014/04/04/nonsense/
http://meanderedwanderings.wordpress.com/2014/04/04/green-all-over/
http://eastelmhurstagogo.wordpress.com/2014/04/04/im-just-a-jealous-guy/
http://elementaryverse.wordpress.com/2014/04/04/the-green-eyed-monster/
http://elementaryverse.wordpress.com/2014/04/04/green-eyed-monster/
http://myjourneyeveryday.wordpress.com/2014/04/04/daily-prompt-green-eyed-lady/
http://thatsmyanswer.com/daily-prompt-from-wordpress-hey-o-jealousy/
http://myatheistblog.com/2014/04/04/daily-prompt-green-eyed-lady/
http://hometogo232.wordpress.com/2014/04/04/daily-prompt-green-eyed-lady/
http://wisskko.wordpress.com/2014/04/04/if-i-have-to-choose-one-thing-that-makes-me-jealous/
http://www.pghlesbian.com/2014/04/im-jealous-of-chris-potters-coffee-mates/
http://tobyandtimba.wordpress.com/2014/04/04/the-difference-between-cats-and-humans-is-sleep/
http://thebohemianrockstarpresents.wordpress.com/2014/04/04/napowrimo2014-as-long-as-i-have-words-day-4/
http://agent909.wordpress.com/2014/04/04/daily-prompt-green-eyed-lady-the-path-to-freedom-and-fear/
http://allthingscuteandbeautiful.wordpress.com/2014/04/04/daily-prompt-being-jealous/
http://emotionalfitnesstraining.com/2014/04/04/me-jealous-sadly-yes/
http://hudleyflipside.org/2014/04/04/with-wild-cat-designs-comes-love-passion-and-jealousy/
http://oneeducatorsopinion.wordpress.com/2014/04/04/sometimes-my-eyes-are-just-a-little-more-green-than-usual/
http://djgarcia94.wordpress.com/2014/04/04/i-dont-always-get-jealous/
http://boundariesandedges.wordpress.com/2014/04/04/green-eyed-lady/
NaPoWriMo Day 4 Poem ~~ Jealousy
Daily Prompt: Green-Eyed Lady
http://normashilpi.wordpress.com/2014/04/04/haves-vs-have-nots/
http://tonevershutup.wordpress.com/2014/04/04/daily-prompt-green-eyed-lady/
http://lenzexperiments.wordpress.com/2014/04/05/caught-in-the-act/
http://worldruler007.wordpress.com/2014/04/04/daily-prompt-green-eyed-lady/
Green Eyed Lady
http://shardsofsilence.wordpress.com/2014/04/04/skinny-selfies/
http://gatitaoscura.wordpress.com/2014/04/04/the-game/
The Emperor’s new clothes.
http://bluejbluej.wordpress.com/2014/04/04/a-big-one/
http://thesalmonyatra.wordpress.com/2012/07/30/wise-words-steve-jobs/
http://flashinthepanwritings.wordpress.com/2014/04/04/envy/
http://theshotgungirls.wordpress.com/2014/04/04/oklahoma-rose/
http://lisadorenfest.com/2014/04/05/lovers-in-a-box/
http://sandersjames.wordpress.com/2014/04/04/green-eyed-monster/
http://rosiesmrtiepants.wordpress.com/2014/04/04/i-covet-no-more/
http://myauthoritis.wordpress.com/2014/04/04/never-jealousmuch/
http://helenmeikle.wordpress.com/2014/04/05/daily-prompt-greens-my-favourite-colour-but/
http://basicallybeyondbasic.com/2014/04/04/daily-prompt-green-eyed-lady/
http://paisleyimprint.wordpress.com/2014/04/05/short-story-green-eyed-lady/
http://viewsplash.wordpress.com/2014/04/05/green-eyed-monster/
http://balidaily.wordpress.com/2014/04/05/me-and-the-money-saver/
http://seikaiha.wordpress.com/2014/04/05/daily-prompt-green-eyed-lady/
http://sistasertraline.wordpress.com/2014/04/05/daily-prompt-green-eyed-lady-shiny-happy-people/
http://vmtranblog.wordpress.com/2014/04/06/daily-prompt-green-eyed-lady/
http://fingerlike.wordpress.com/2014/04/07/daily-prompt-green-eyed-lady/
http://manmadeoceans.wordpress.com/2014/04/07/green-eyed-lady/
http://anawnimiss.wordpress.com/2014/04/08/of-jealousy/
http://wildandfreeandme.wordpress.com/2014/04/09/green-eyed-monster/
http://fieldofthorns.wordpress.com/2014/04/09/fille-fatale/
http://wangsgard.com/post/self-defeating-beliefs-23374/
https://livingonchi.wordpress.com/2015/05/08/daily-prompt-fimb/
https://twmnk.wordpress.com/2015/05/08/zebras/
https://designersophisticate.wordpress.com/2015/05/08/was-that-sugarloafs-only-hit/
Competition revs me up: haiku and aspiration
http://clipsandsnippets.com/2015/05/08/a-double-mistake/
https://cakeandconcrete.wordpress.com/2015/05/08/concrete-cakes-dont-get-envious/
https://tombalistreri.wordpress.com/2015/05/08/jealous-guy/
https://funland5000.wordpress.com/2015/05/08/daily-prompt-green-eyed-lady/
https://monicleblog.wordpress.com/2015/05/08/envious/
https://lindaswritingblog.wordpress.com/2015/05/08/jealousy-isnt-pretty/
https://kimberlystreff10.wordpress.com/2015/05/08/green-eyed-lady/
https://jennyahlers17.wordpress.com/2015/05/08/jealousy/
DON’T COVET YOUR NEIGHBOR’S ASS
https://dragoneystory.wordpress.com/2015/05/08/known-2/
https://thelonerose.wordpress.com/2015/05/08/wishing-for-what-i-cant-have/
https://marthakennedy.wordpress.com/2015/05/08/9167/
https://standinginacorner.wordpress.com/2015/05/08/shades-of-envy/
Portia’s green-eyed lady
https://jaysnaps.wordpress.com/2015/05/08/green/
Green-Eyed Misery
https://raspberrydaydreams.wordpress.com/2015/05/08/jealous-kitty/
https://reallifeunscripted.wordpress.com/2015/05/08/crash-and-burn/
https://locolivia.wordpress.com/2015/05/09/the-lady-with-semi-green-eyes/
https://nonsmokingladybug.wordpress.com/2015/05/08/the-blue-eyed-lady/
https://yzhengblog.wordpress.com/2015/05/08/jealousy/
HE WISHED HE COULD HAVE DONE THAT!
https://vexingpoint.wordpress.com/2015/05/08/daily-prompt-green-eyed-lady/
You have it already
http://theflavoredword.com/2015/05/08/i-have-thunder-thighs-jealous/
https://debooworks.wordpress.com/2015/05/08/standing-out/
https://flowersandbreezes.wordpress.com/2015/05/08/doesnt-matter/
https://rpmas.wordpress.com/2015/05/08/i-cant-afford-resentment/
https://unbolt.wordpress.com/2015/02/16/envy/
https://theyyouandme.wordpress.com/2015/05/08/my-old-people/
Daily Prompt: Green-eyed Lady – I should not be here
https://myleviathan.wordpress.com/2015/05/08/jealousy/
https://robswritings.wordpress.com/2015/05/08/may-8-green-eyed-lady/
https://grieflessons.wordpress.com/2015/05/08/the-dance/
Daily Feline Prompt: Green-eyed Feline
https://dailymusing57.wordpress.com/2015/05/08/the-grass-isnt-always-greener/
https://waynemullane.wordpress.com/2015/05/08/daily-prompt-things-that-make-me-jealous-top-five/
http://www.bukkhead.com/blog/2015/05/08/i-a-go-with-the-flow-kinda-guy-dont-have-enough-passion-to-be-jealous/
https://awordadventure.wordpress.com/2015/05/08/green-eyed-lady-parenthood/
https://writingandreadingashobbies.wordpress.com/2015/05/08/green-eyed-lady/
http://www.inspiringmax.com/joy-not-jealousy/
https://lekhamisra.wordpress.com/2015/05/09/the-veil/
https://luckyestgirlever.wordpress.com/2015/05/09/may-8-green-eyed-lady/
https://bluejbluej.wordpress.com/2015/05/09/dandelions-and-marigolds/
https://lauzlau.wordpress.com/2015/05/08/birds-eye-view/

To The People I Met in College


(Four Stars

Write a review of your life — or the life of someone close to you — as if it were a movie or a book.)

While having lunch, someone posed the question ‘Where would we be five ten years from now?’

None of us could answer, but that got me thinking.

If the Mayur of 2011 would meet the Mayur of 2015, he would neither recognize nor believe that this is what the next four years of college would hold for him.

I was shy. Unfriendly, friendless, alone and yes scared. To come to a college that resided in a society that’s way above my normal social standards! I still remember the gooseflesh I had on the very first day, I reached college at around 7.30 am for a 8 am lecture. I met my first classmate that day.

The college magazine photoshoot took place the other day. There is my class! All of us grinning, happy for this photo of our class that we would always have(I would!)

I imagined sitting in my class/lab 306 and bantering. Laughing. Writing assignments. Cursing and laughing again. And then thought about what will we do tomorrow.

And it hit me, maybe tomorrow(literal sense) we won’t be in that lab.

And I realized that day, the college is just a step away from being ‘Present’ to being ‘Past’. That ‘I am going to college’ would soon become ‘I was going to college’. The imminent end is here.

Coming to Dadar I met a senior. Passed out last year she is looking for a new job. She hates it. She misses college. She misses the routine of college.

Okay, here it goes:

If I could sum up my college experience it’s this: The people I met here. Its my parents who pushed me to come here, my brother who supported me.

You!

The memories I shared with you all, some made digital, some forever lost in the grooves of my head.

YOU MADE ME REACH HERE!

EITHER BY SUPPORTING ME, or by enraging me.

I ate with you or most probably I ravaged your lunch.

I laughed with you. I laughed on you, you laughed on me. I teased you, you teased me back.

I sang with you, I danced with you.

I consoled you when you were down. You consoled me when I was down.

I never refused to help you when you asked, I never stopped begging for help because half the times I was helpless.

Most importantly I spoke with you. Had lengthy or transiting conversations with you. I got to know you. Glad that I got to know you.

My college is you:

EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU.

Even if I just say hi to you while walking on the stairs, I’ll remember you.

I’ll remember the one liners you spoke, I’ll remember the hi fives and the bear hugs.

I’ll remember the times I laughed so hard my stomach ached.

I’ll remember the times I got so angry on you that I wanted to just kill you.

I’ll remember the fights I had with you. I’ll remember the fights we watched happening and wished we had popcorn.

I’ll remember you.

So if a long time from now we meet, I’ll grin in recognition because you mattered.

Thank you for all the memories. Thank you for the lessons both taught wittingly and unwittingly.

I’m not good with changes, never liked goodbyes.

Maybe I’ll lose contact, but you have my email, you know me on Facebook. Contact me, I’ll reply.

I’ll be happy to.

I’ll miss this routine.

I’ll miss the familiarity.

I’ll miss you.

Thank you for the four years. I’m glad I got the experience.

While everyone keeps saying and tagging their pictures #onelasttime I would rather say #TillNextTime

Thanks For Reading
Itsmayurremember

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On Writings


‘Mayur, you are a Writer!’

I remember school, over myriads of bad memories there, some few memories are ones which bring a smile to my face.

It was seventh grade when I wrote an essay and the teacher announced I had written the one which she loved the most. It was a simple one, in which I did nothing but describe Diwali (a Hindu festival).

I never wrote anything after that which gave me such rave but I never stopped trying.

Now I am sure I won’t be the only one who hates regional language subjects. I had to suffer Marathi. I have nothing against the dialect, I just always thought the coursework was obsolete. No one speaks such a language anymore!

And while I struggled to get my massive handwriting fit into the lines of the paper, to get the grammar and spellings correct, I had to write essays in Marathi too. One of my tuition teachers I will always remember encouraged us to write essays and submit it to her so she could give us feedback. And the feedback she gave

‘Mayur, you are a writer!’

I remember the look on her face, I remember the astonished faces of my classmates around me and most importantly I remember that small feeling of warmth spreading across my chest. I was proud even if my essay was full of incorrect errors, and the spellings would make my essay almost unintelligible, she understood what I wrote. She understood and she let me know I have scope. That I can write.

That was the push I will always have. The perfect motivation to pick up a pen and paper and pour my heart & soul into it. To write holding nothing back.

Around my twelfth grade I made two of the first best friends I could get. Ayush and Melvin. No matter how much I thank them it won’t be enough. While we were supposed to study and have sleepless nights being tensed, we wrote. All three of us. That was for me, my break from the entire hard work. We wrote stories, letters, poems and shared with others. I as usual brutally harassed them with my honesty. I have an imagination, reading books gave me more and more perspective.

And I kept writing after that. Ideas came to me a dime a dozen. Movies, TV shows, novels, songs, everything was my source of inspiration. Everything.

Today I have many who appreciate my writing. Some cry(like always) when they read my pieces. My blog. And then suddenly I got someone with whom I can share some of my ideas.

Someone who is also writing, which is nothing less than her life’s most primal fears. And she is sharing them with me. And I’m sharing my writing with her.

Words might make amends but to me, but it was my writing which strengthened bonds with others.

Thanks For Reading
Itsmayurremember

One Year Old


(Source Inspiration:
The Internet: IT’S MADE OF PEOPLE by King of States &Fleeting by End Kwote)


I must have forgotten how to write by now.

I admit this because I am not a regular blogger. And more often than not, I am shitty blogger. My blog is getting updated after almost two weeks and one of the primary reasons to do is this: my blog is turning a year old. This is not the perfect time to write a ceremonious post about my blog, mostly because I am not blissful as I should be.

I watched a great movie(Whiplash) with a great person, I am heading to Goa in a couple of days to have fun, what I really feel, that is unknown to me.

I am Blind, the thing which haunts my dreams and taunts my consciousness. And this, this small feeling is the reason because of which writing is hard. Because it leaves me numb. And writing without feelings is hard. That’s why I am a shitty writer.

So for those of you, the ones who have appreciated me and gave me great feedback’s on my post for the last year, thank you! Sincerely, heartfelt gratitude. And this is why I love WordPress more than any other social networking site anywhere else. Here, most of the people I have met are in fact real people. They are kind and compassionate. Human, in every sense of the word, spread across the very globe. And they are amazing.

IT TAKES COURAGE!

It takes colossal courage to admit their weaknesses, to write what’s on their minds and leave it out there for the world to see. And it takes something that people these days say is bad: Honesty. For those who I follow, those who’s posts I have read and cried in their sorrows, basked in their joys and grown as they grew: Thank you!

I gave them hugs, condolences, had virtual drinks with them and sometimes gave them my silence.I Because they drove me speechless. Some called me sweet(Raju Hirani), kind and awesome. Things I would never hear from places other than my blog. And lastly, after a year of about 100 post, about 40 of those being fictional, I see my past in a different way.

I always thought reminiscences are ephemeral and they don’t last. But as I read about my past, I realize it is not so. Our brains can’t remember everything, and in the last year almost every important thing and every not so important event has been penned in my blog. And guess what: it is not tiny.

Its huge, every experience as vivid and full of emotional memories, each a manifestation of my life. My past no longer is small, it is full of life. And I love it. Every part of it, from the angry rants to the times where I was sad, to when I was ecstatic.

I agree the guy King of States: internet is not just fake people, its full of real people. And I am one of them. Proud to be one of them. Real people who are suffering, enjoying, helping, laughing and most importantly: LIVING!

Thank You for following me!

Thanks For Reading

Its Mayur remember