The Longing


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I was about 8 years old then and till date it is one of the best family photos. My dad is holding me up

When I was a kid, my father used to work in Kolhapur 8 hour train ride away. He used to come once every month and usually on a Friday as it was the day when he had off. Before my birthday, on 8th November we didn’t receive any phone call from him. I think I was worried as he would call everyday at a fixed time. My mom wasn’t worried and that should have given me the hint. Next day on my birthday my dad surprised me by coming home in the middle of the week. The memory is still blurry but I remember getting really happy and my dad’s belly laugh.

I am doing the same thing now.


My manager/company CEO Warren told me a month ago about the company Christmas break. Other than the 5 public holidays, the company doesn’t shell out a 3 week break like every other company. The first thing that came to my mind was I can go home now.

I acted on the impulse without thinking much and within two hours I had booked my flights. I rapidlyy fire messages to all my friends in India telling I am coming home. I was two seconds shy of posting it on Facebook as I realized that my parents would see it. My trip is a surprise for them, it is exactly as I have always pictured my first trip home would be.

I would ring the bell in the morning and my mom would gasp when I say hi. My dad would probably be eating his breakfast and ready for work. My brother would be too sleepy to bother but I know he would be really happy as well. My dog, Jimmy would be the one who is visibly the happiest.

I won’t be landing in the morning but I still expect a similar reaction. If anyone ever tells you a month is not long then introduce them to me.


More than a year ago, prior to me getting an admitted to AUT or getting a visa, I was having dinner with my dad and brother. We were talking about my future and how I was innocently saying that doing Masters’ would be easy or something like that. He was always reluctant with the idea and I always thought it was because of the money involved. He admitted his reason that night.

He said that he was worried that I will leave them and eventually forget about them. I blame Baghban movie for that kind of thinking. His statement was the equivalent of a sucker punch to my gut. Suffice to say that night was a very emotional night for us. My brother wasn’t much emotional though, he was laughing about it eventually.

I did my best over the last 15 months to not forget about them. His sentence would always be in my head.


“How long have you been here for?” a friend asked me.

“15 months”  I replied. I didn’t like rounding off the number or saying more than a year.

“That’s not very long”

“It feels longer”


I have never lived without my family. As a kid, my parents used to scare me that if I didn’t behave they would send me off to boarding school. I think every parent used that line to, sigh, get their children in line.

If I had I would have some experience with living with myself. I would have some taste of the freedom. I would have known how to cook better and how to deal with my finances better.

Today, I don’t have to answer to anyone about where I am going or when I will be back. I can come back at 6pm after work or I can come back at 2am after a party. I could eat whatever I want and I can even sleep hungry. I can keep a stack of clothes on my rooms’ chair instead of hanging them on hooks.

This freedom brings along with itself loneliness. Regardless of when I come home, my room will be quiet. There will not be my angry sulking dad or my chattering mom. There is no dog wagging his tail at the door for me.

I am by no means saying one life is better than the other. Neither am I saying I wanna go back forever. I could enjoy my life as much as I want here and at the same time miss the life that I had back in India.

I can be happy with my life in Auckland and still long for my life back.

For the next three weeks I intend to enjoy my home, my mom’s cooked food. I intend to enjoy meeting old friends and share a laugh or two. I missed them all.

Religions in education?


‘If I don’t pray before the cross I get punished’ my friend explained how his school in Delhi worked. He was in an Catholic school about 10 years ago.

The last time I stepped inside a school was when my mom was working in a school and I had to pick up the house keys. For now, I am no longer living in India but that can change.

The thing that astonished me the most was I never even thought about the way education system in India is so ingrained with religions. It was so normal for me that I never had this kind of conversation with anyone back in India.

My school in India started with morning (Hindu) prayer and national anthem, lectures and classes, closing (Hindu) prayer and then disburse. If you are one of the majority student in the school, this will seem completely normal to you as well.

It was normal to not talk about religions in school, common to not have an opinion in school. Nobody liked the prayers but we did it anyway because we were told to.

We never asked which religion’s prayer are we singing and why?

I never asked that question back in school, college and in university. It was normal to pray in my school. Singing the national anthem is not religious and patriotic so I never had any problem with it.

I think (I am not completely sure) I am Hindu. It makes sense for me back then and now today to pray a Hindu prayer. I can do a Christian prayer too and for me, both of them spell out the same message.

It wouldn’t make sense for a Christian or a Muslim child to pray an Hindu prayer. India is a dense multireligous jungle of a country and if I may paraphrase my friend’s description ‘India had every possible religion’.

Each religion will have its own prayers, traditions and customs. Each of the religious customs have always been seeped into the culture of the practitioners.

If the child of such a culture goes to study in a school of a completely different culture, the result of such a conflict would be severe.

For example, my friend. He is an atheist, for him praying is nonsensical. I can imagine him in a catholic school trying to resist praying sessions, Bible reading sessions and during Carols.

Reflecting back on my school days, I don’t remember having many Christian or Muslim classmates. Almost everyone was Hindu and a majority of us couldn’t be bothered praying unless exams were due.

No one, in my memory asked about why only Hindu prayers and none other. My friend’s school insisted on enforcing Christianity on its pupils.

For me and him, in our 20s, thinking back on it is pretty easy. He says that schools should NOT have any religious influence. He does have a point: teach physics and civil rights at school. Leave the religions at homes and temples, mosques and churches.

Democracy is not about enforcement of religion. It is certainly not what the Indian pledge says : “India is a secular country”

The question now is: What can be done? And more importantly, how many parents, grandparents think about religion when securing admissions?

Because I remember my school friends. We did not care about prayers. We may have cared if we had a choice on prayer.

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I figured out time at the end of 2016


Or at least I think so. One of the good things in 2016.

I reached the realization a while ago but only recently while reading one of the Discover posts, I was able to put my thoughts into words. As soon as I hit ‘Post Comment’ I knew I had an explanation to my obsession to time (close second to death).

I measure time by the clarity of the memories I make.

If I am able to recall a memory then it has happened recently. I am sure I am not the only one. It might be the reason when reminiscing everyone say ‘It seems like yesterday’.

There are no memories created yesterday, only ones that exist are from far back in time.


 

Currently, after graduation I am a job seeker (not jobless: I have to remind myself that). I have surplus time in my hands, full 24 hours to be exact. I am surprised by my inability to sleep more than 8 hours these days. Ironically, I am certain that when I have work I will sleep more than my quota.

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The two versions of the photos

The abundant time I have I try to spend it wisely: by learning new skills. I finally learned how to use GIMP (an Open Source Photoshop alternative). It is pretty good. I click photos from my mobile and sometimes I am surprised with the quality of images my phone produces. Another thing I am learning (or revising) is programming.

If I may explain time in programming terms then:

  1. You have a great day. Your brain auto-saves that memory inside a database (one of the grooves of your cerebrum)
  2. When you have a normal day, your brain deletes the memories to the recycle bin. You can restore some fragments of the day but not everything. It is similar to the cache your browser saves.
  3. When you sit and reminiscence, you recall the auto-saved memory and not the memories in the recycle bin.
  4. Most of the days go to the recycle bin; they are fraught with meaningless junk which holds no emotional value.
  5. When recalling memories, the cerebrum references the current mood with memories and recall the first ones matched.

The same thing happens with programming and database. The program I was wrote returned only the first matched data unless specifically told to return everything. I don’t know how to tell my brain to return all matched memories, it returns those ones which are matched first.


 

I heard a couple of people speaking about their year in review (not Facebook year in review). I am sure that most people will start writing their posts like me about their year. I don’t want to go back on my year, it had its ups and downs. I do recall two distinct things precisely.

Firstly, I can recall the feeling while writing my last year’s New Year’s post. I just knew that my 2016 was going to be harder. It was (or so my database tells me). I can’t compare it with any other year because when in my 23 years of life have I lived in a new country without the ones I can physically rely on.

Secondly, I can recall my 31st night. I had lied (sort of) to my boss and sneaked to a camp. I was amongst friends that night when the clock hit 00:00. I can’t recall the 31st the year before that or any other 31st before that except the ones when I was very small.

My mom would make a special kind of rice which had three or four colors: red from beetroot, yellow from turmeric & white. I don’t remember any more colors. I remember lots of chips and some bottles of soft drinks and my dad watching one of the thousand New Year specials. I don’t know what my brother did but I am sure he was there somewhere.

The memory is hazy. It was a long time ago.

My last year’s 31st is not hazy, like it was yesterday.


 

I don’t know what the new year will hold for me. I am afraid of saying it will get harder as I (stupidly) think that’s what happened with my 2016. I am aware I was privileged with what happened in my year, the global year can be called horrendous. No one wants to live this year again and we are all eager to brush off the year under the year as if it never happened. (There are so many meme’s of the sort).

What will 2017 hold for me? For us?

I can’t speak for others. I don’t want to say I want to make a memories, my wants have nothing to do with what gets saved in my database. Basically, I don’t know what I want from 2017.

I will just see what life throws at me and I will keep putting one foot in front of another. Somewhere I will create some moments which will forever seem like yesterday.

PS: Happy New Year Folks!

(Inspiration for the post: On Not Writing Christmas cards, In Praise of Nowstalgia: The Sadness in Happiness,  Slowing Down the Perception of Time )

 

I wish I had a dragon


To Anyone who says Disney movies are for kids,

You are wrong. They are not solely for kids. I have always enjoyed them, although I am one of the adults who love to watch great visuals on a screen. Disney or any animated movie for the matter have more than great visuals going for them, prominently great stories.

They touch on topics which are beyond the scope of comprehension of most kids. Recent movies touched on issues of racism and stereotype. Kids may not have heard of these terms. But we have, and maybe we need to reminded of the things we knew of when we were kids.

Kids don’t need movies which inspire them, we adults need inspiration and motivations. After all, it is pretty difficult to wake up and motivate yourself to get up from bed.  Getting up from bed is a relatively small problem in the grand scheme of things and there are more than one problems awaiting everyday. We need motivation, we need to be taught the important principles lest we forget them in the monotony.

The fact that most of the new animated movies target our childhood and sense of nostalgia is another factor into watching them.

Why else would Finding Dory would be a great hit, or why am I so patiently waiting for The Incredibles 2? I watched the originals when I was a kid and I loved the myriad colors on the screen. How could I understand the emotional depth these films touched.


 

If I watch a Disney movie, I take a trip to Sentiment City. They are so warm and fuzzy; packed with just the right amount of emotional ingredients like laughter, joy and innocence. Of course when I watch them I know they are going to have a happy ending.

Growing up to an adult makes you realize that they are just movies and they are marketed towards children. No child, no money and no profits. No child will love the movie if the main character dies. Disney movies usually have an protagonist which behaves like a dog, so if they kill their protagonist at the climax I will riot.


 

Recently I was watching Pete’s Dragon. I needed a ‘feel-good’ movie because of the day I was having. I knew the usual mind numbing apathetic shows I usually watch would not work. I have not watched the original movie but I trusted Disney to making a great movie.

The movie is stunning visually, with absolute jewels of child characters and a huge dragon which acts like a puppy with wings. I am a dog person and if there is anything more special than dogs it might be dogs with wings.

Or maybe a dragon because I grew up with stories of dragons.

In usual Disney movies, there is the start phase, intermediate stage and climax where everything falls into a new order. The start phase is usually marred by a tragedy and there is a lot of buried up pain in the middle. The climax makes the protagonist and in turn the viewers deal with the buried up pain. Most people would never want the middle phase.

There is also happiness in the middle phase. It is usually after the dog resembling character is introduced, when the protagonist realizes there is more the animated character than meets the eye. It is in the brilliant middle phase where the transition of the protagonist begins. There is a lot of laughter.

In this phase, the protagonist is happy but not as happy as he would eventually be. The movie is able to transmit that happiness from the protagonist’s face across to the viewers’ hearts.

So I watched Pete’s Dragon with a huge grin on my face as Pete and Elliot played around the jungle. Elliot was different than almost every dragon portrayed in the movies, he was kind and loyal. He changed colors when touched, he keeps his powers of destruction inside him and keeps away from people. How did they manage to have an animated character depict sorrow and longing is beyond me but Elliot clearly was sad when he looked at the North Star.

Pete belonged in the jungle with Elliot. He stayed away from people, lived well off on his own and was happy. He stayed true to his childish nature and his curiosity got the better of him at times. How could I forget the fact that Pete scared off a bear? That was funny.

Pete and Elliot had 6 great years together! They were content, wild and carefree. In stark contrast, who amongst us adults can say they had a good week?

Mostly I don’t even have good days, I have good moments with which I try to keep myself content. Moments I cherish. I drew parallels between the movie and my life as I watched.I am grateful for not having personal tragedy as Pete but then he has a Dragon! He could walk around carefree, not worried about what to wear, who to speak and what to say.

It did not matter to me that the adults in the movie seemed out of place. After all, I can willingly accept a kid trusting a dragon but I will probably never accept a full grown adult trusting a dragon. I expect the adult to try to tame the dragon. Exactly like the antagonist did.

I know WHO people are. I may be one of them.

As I watched the movie, I cringed in anticipation of the scene where Pete and Elliot get separated. I was not looking forward to see Elliot captured or any other emotional scene. My imagination raced ahead of me showing all the bad things that could happen to Pete and Elliot.

Thank goodness that the writers don’t have my imagination.

Thank goodness that Pete was still a kid in the movie. Someone who had no pride, someone who could laugh easy and was unencumbered. Thank goodness for the actor who played Pete cause he was able to be the perfect kid, an embodiment of everything childhood was supposed to be.

Innocence. Something I miss, the wide eyed perspective of the world.

It is kind of pointless to be talking about the things lost in a movie which tells you to be brave and move forward. A movie which embraces change in life. The message of the movie was not lost on me. I am not Pete though, I cannot accept change as easily as he did.

So I wish I had a dragon.

End Panic


(PS: I use my blog less frequently than I used to. Now, it is more a therapeutic measure than a sharing platform. I write on the days when I am sad, today I am sad about a small thing that I couldn’t do anymore. A post is due about my events in AUT and I will get it all out. Finally, I do apologize for my recent depressing posts, I can’t help the words that stumble out. I can only say after writing, I feel better.)

It is almost the end of the semester. I finish my last submission, the biggest of them all on 4th of November, 4 days before my 23rd birthday. Now when I am so close to the finish line, I am experiencing what I call as ‘end panic’.

I remember the last six months of my college a year and a half ago in India. I realized that I have a bunch of things I have never done and I decided to try to cross them out. This included going for the college festival, which I refused to go every year, parties and having one last important post about my college, to list a few.

Some of the plans went well: having never been to the college festivals worked well in my favor as I had no expectations and I thoroughly enjoyed. My friends didn’t enjoy cause they compared the previous year’s festivals and were disappointed.

Other plans did not go so well, especially the parties or rather The party. I never spoke about it here cause it involved others from my class and I don’t want to take names. I changed after those events.

Now, I am in Auckland and I am less than 2 weeks away from completing my term. I have my own set of worries about what will I do after I complete my term; neither do I have a summer job nor do I have plans. The only thing I do have fixed is attending a wedding of someone who is like family to me now in December. If the uncertainty is not enough to generate panic then it is looming 4th November.

Now, unlike my college in India I have done a lot of things in AUT. I am surprised about it myself and considering how crazy I actually I am, I will do more things in the coming two weeks. But that doesn’t stop the urges to do more. There is a difference between the end panic of my college days and the end panic of my university days. It is the activities or events I am used to doing; they will be hard to say goodbye to and not the people. In college, it was the people who I cherished and now…

Here is the thing: every small thing that I thing I cannot do anymore disappoints me. Literally SMALL. It doesn’t cripple me but I do need a minute. And my bucket list, so to say, is not so very different from my bucket list in my final semester from my college. College fests, parties, farewell dinners, photographs and the whole nine yards.

Currently, aside from my thesis, it an award which I want to cross off the bucket list. I failed to participate for any awards in my college and I regret that. Now I am so close being awarded in university that I WANT it. There is no easy way to put it for now, only that getting the award will be more striving than previously thought.

With the end panic in full force barging on me, I have to set my impulsive decisions on test and make sure whatever I do, I do them for the correct reasons

Note: I can’t believe I have written 200 posts on my blog. 

Who is this guy?


7 months. Without family, with only an hour long conversations with people who I utterly love. And now, this morning I realized I no longer can recognize myself.

Mumbai would be a place of comfort. Where I would say ‘no’ more than I draw breath. No to cooking, no to cleaning, no to socializing, you get the gist.

Why am I writing about it?

Because it is one of those days where there is too much to do. It is this day that I have to go for a job fair, have a date, try my hand at a coding competition and all of this on top of my usual university project and thesis writing. Others, my mom including say that I am chewing more than I can swallow.

I don’t agree with them. I just say ‘Yes’ more now.

Practically everyday I come home, I make sure that I cook my own dinner. I never did that when I was with family, I would always bring something from a restaurant. Now, I love cooking so much that whenever I try something new and it works, I tell mom with excitement. I make sure that my stuff is clean, at university and home.

However not everything is roses. In college, I would have to walk for five minutes before I would run into a friend. I remember a friend complaining to me I know a lot of people. Now, most of my days are spent bent in front of my laptop, learning codes or watching some important tutorial. Friends? I have already given up. I have spent so much of my time in a church where everyone seems friendly and I would rather stand outside than talk to anyone.

I always thought that making friends in a new country would be the easiest thing I would ever have to do and house chores would suck. In the last 7 min, I enjoy chores more than meeting a new face.

I have always ran on ‘Indian time’, a special scale in which it is practically normal to be half hour late. Now, after a colossal mistake, I am always early. I don’t even have an alarm in my phone anymore, I know I will be up exactly 8 hours from when I sleep.

There are not enough words to articulate the discord between me from 7 months ago and me a minute ago. One is full of naivety and other is practical. One is disorganized, other is organized to the minute. One feels lonely, other is lonely.

I never lived in denial back there, now on the end of bad days I sit in my bed watching a comfort show which does nothing more than numb and dumb my brain down. And I am aware of what I am doing. I know this though, regardless of the rejections, bad days and good minutes: I would never regret this life changing move.

So someday, I look at myself in the mirror and ask ‘Who is that guy?’

Weekend Coffee Share: Week’s helper


I missed last weekend’s coffee share as I was doing something. I don’t remember what. The week started early, some 5 am when one of my friend called me to talk to me. Something was wrong I knew immediately and we Skyped so early in the morning. Something had came up and she was scared. I did what I do best: make the lamest jokes possible to alleviate her worries. I wish that was the only time it happened in the entire week but another friend also had some issues and messaged me. Did the same thing but I was only thinking: only last entire week I was in a bad place and now are some of my friends. What is happening?

If we do have coffee, I would break the news: my application for continuing my master’s is approved. I can now work on my Masters project which is exactly what I wanted to do. I am so happy and finally a little relaxed. I knew who all helped me, kept touch with me when I needed it. Thank you.

In other news, I love Pokemon Go. The weekend me and my friends walked around the harbour catching pokemon rather than go out to a pub to relax and kill them. I kept thinking: this has got to be the only time I enjoyed my phone more than my friends company. If we do have coffee and you have the game then we will probably stop talking and go catch them all. It is not just me who is addicted but the entire Auckland is catching only pokemon these days. Can’t really blame anyone for it is amazing.

One of the best things I now realize I did was encourage one of my friends to apply for his Masters. His grades were similar to mine and he had given up before applying.

I guess that is all for the week. It is your turn to speak up and say how was your week?

Weekend Coffee Share: New House


If we were having coffee, I would tell you that I moved to a new house past Sunday. It’s not as luxurious as my previous house but then again I knew it was coming. I spent the week here, making friends with the roommates and slowly our bond seems to be getting stronger, unlike my previous roommates.

Also, while sipping coffee, I would complain about my cycle. Start of the week it had a puncture and now there is another problem with the rear gear derailleur. No wonder people give advises to buy a good cycle and not a cheap one. Well, I still have to get a quote on the derailleur problem.

However I love cycling around here. There is a direct separate cycling way to my university, an easy way to the church and both sides it is fun to cycle. Yeah it is also tiring but then again I am having fun. I would have more fun if my cycle stops breaking down so much.

I would tell you that I started working on my Master’s project even before my grades were out. This is especially risky as I didn’t know at that time what is going to happen with my degree anymore. Regardless, even though I worked for a couple of days, I was happy. Finally!

Speaking of grades: they are also out. Unfortunately, I don’t know if I clear them to qualify for my Master’s or not yet. As my grades are bordering between B and C, I don’t know what to infer. When I read the grades all I could do was laugh: even now I feel like Life’s playing with me.

If we do have coffee, I would tell you the highlight of the entire week has been the spoken word event that I attended and wrote about it. I would tell you that I’m desperately waiting for the next such event as I loved it. Considering the response that they got, I hope that they don’t charge it from the next time.

Lastly, I would turn the mike over to you and await to hear from you: how has your week been?

Maybe I should pay more attention


Racism. Something which I would hardly think of when I am dealing with people. So whenever people would ask me “Where are you from?” I would reply where am I from and just leave it at that. I hardly pay any heed to the subtle hints of racism because I do not have time for it. However after listening to at least 6 people speak about the same issue I realize that maybe I should be paying more attention.

After seeing an event on Facebook about a spoken word/poetry event, I decided to go for it. I like writing, I like poetry and I am a fan of spoken poetry. I knew the topic is not a simple one and from what I heard from the speakers I realized how unaware am I about the extent.

The bar couldn’t have been shadier. Honestly, they took underground groups too literally and they had more than 100 people gathered in such a small place. The next door rock band overpowered the speakers completely and I couldn’t make out more than a syllable or two in the first half of the event. However the next half, I sat up front and listened. I was so into it that I forgot to click photos, forgot almost everything and just absorbed.

I heard a girl try to explain and fail, try again and still get all messed up in explaining where she is from: Chinese or Kiwi. I heard a guy talk about what it was like being White after being born in a Maori family. Heard an open letter, not to White people, but to Koreans. Heard two poems from an Australian Maori girl.

Maybe I am missing some of the poems. Even more likely I am actually not doing justice to what I heard. Because I simply cannot; I am not perceptible enough of the surroundings, I don’t think along the lines as the speakers can think. Because their words moved, their experiences made me recall all the months and think: was that racism?

While I may not know which end of the spectrum I exist on, I am surely one of those ‘unawares’ the speakers spoke of. And from what I heard, I cannot help but applaud the speakers and their courage. And learn and absorb whatever I can, from their experiences, from their words and their strengths.

Weekend Coffee Share: The week that wasn’t


I had everything planned. Give my exams, Monday and Tuesday. Finish up my presentation for Wednesday and then go for a Jazz session in a bar in Auckland CBD. I would have finished up with everything with a smile on my face.

 

If we were having coffee then I would have told you that it didn’t go that way. In fact, it might be the worst week I have had here. I gave my exams, tensed and when I was done instead of a smile on my face I had a frown. Then I realized that I have misread the event on Facebook and the jazz session is actually this Tuesday and not last. It would be here from which everything went downhill.

 

I would tell you over coffee that on Wednesday I was late for my presentation. My bus was late, which always reaches on time that didn’t. And I’m regret of my mistake of not taking the previous bus every second. My sir canceled my presentation. No matter how much I begged, pleaded nothing came from it. 10 minutes and I loose 20% grades. As much as I want to hate him, I can’t. I screwed up.

 

I would tell you that the crazy part of my mind was laughing over the futility of it all: work hard over entire semester and screw up in ten minutes. It was laughing, I was laughing as I found out how easy it was to screw up this big.

 

I’m mortified: if I don’t score B grade over the semester then I would not be able to complete my Master’s. I had to worry about my house first, now my degree. I wish this was all for my week.

 

Friday. I had secured a last assistant job at the university for next semester. My professor told me that due to being inundated with applicants, I would no longer be hired.

 

I tried to distract myself. I volunteered in the church I’m a part of since Easter but all I thought about was my screw up. Everyone was talking about exams and all I did was mull over my scores. Sadly the distraction that did work was killing random robots while playing Call of Duty. I didn’t try to ask myself why am I this way.

 

Speaking of the church, today every sentence uttered in the service, every scripture referred seemed directed at me. The Pastors spoke about worrying, tension, forgiveness. Everything that I could think in my mind was addressed in the service. As I left, one of the Pastors walked me out. He knew something was wrong and at the end he prayed for me. I still feel his presence on my back where he kept his hand.

 

Plus, today they had a jazz choir. If we do have coffee, I would apologize for dropping such bombs on you. I would apologize as I wanted to talk but all I did was whine.

If we are having coffee: Some Reminders


If we are having coffee(or tea), I would tell you that something happened that made me want to take writing seriously again.

If we do have coffee, I would also tell you that this is my first #weekendcoffeeshare post. I always loved this idea, I tried it in real life too, however I failed to keep up with half of it. I don’t know if I will be able to do this for long either.

It has been rough couple of days. No actually, it has been a rough couple of months. There was no particular reason, there were many of them. So while studying and speaking to a dear friend of mine something unlocked.

I told her to grow up, I told her to have patience and learn how to deal with things happening because of the wishes she is taking. I told her to take care of her loved ones first before she breaks down. And the reason is not so noble: I told her that she can’t take care of her loved ones when she is the one who needs help.

I don’t remember where I read this. I must have because I picked it up, adopted it without breaking a sweat and now I realize that I have been doing this for so long it is who I am. So I opened up ‘Pocket’ to try find where I read it, it is my treasure of the posts I have loved ever since I started blogging.

I forgot what it was like to feel through reading words. I read one and then I read many. I read this post, one which beautifully described the experience of having a dog: it made me laugh and sad, it made me miss my dog.

Then this post, one where she spoke about her familiarity with funerals and death of David Bowie and I felt her pain.

I wept, I laughed, I ached and I smiled amidst tears. Then I wept even more when I read this post, something that I always do when I read this, one where a other speaks about her dying daughter, I never found out what happened afterwards, I don’t have the courage to. I laughed at this guy’s take on Indian culture, on this blogger’s collection of Cat quotes, this post about depression, this post about childhood & identity, on this absolutely beautiful tale about Guitar and music. No wonder I tried to pick up a guitar afterwards and I am still trying.

If we are having coffee, then I think I must have mentioned all of this before too. I don’t care, I cherish the reminders. I just know that in the space and time I forgot how or what blogging was. I struggled with closing this blog, tried and somehow still struggling.

I am looking for a new place, or found it, giving exams and so much more. I didn’t sleep two days in a row, studied and realized that I still have a long way to go in studies. This week reflected on mostly my studies.

If we were to have coffee(virtually again) I would love that. I know it is not the way #weekendcoffeeshare posts are written but this is my take on it.

Luck’s running out


Random person: “Wow that is awesome”

Me: “Yeah, I got lucky.”

That’s how I always described it. Lucky. Not hard work or dedication; I was just at the right place at the right time. Many would say that I jinxed it myself, I just knew it was coming sooner or later.

The previous housekeeper left and I took up housekeeping. I wanted to save money and the job was the only way. No rent, work against stay arrangement. I admit, I was not an excellent housekeeper but I tried.

Last week I got to know, a mere week before my semester exams, I need to vacate the house by the end of June. I like my house. It was not perfect when I moved in, it is not perfect still. I have seen better houses, been around in better localities in Auckland but I liked the people that lived here. Somehow it suited me to know people for a couple of days, make friends and then never speak to them ever again. In my own twisted way, it suited me to be aloof. I had privacy in a shared room, I joined communities and I bought a bicycle here. It seems like yesterday that I moved in here. I planned to finish my studies in this house. Aside from the monetary reasons, the best thing about the house was its quick access to the coast. So I cycled down the coast to experience it again. If I didn’t have monetary reasons to stay in this place, I would have still tried to live here.

 

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The pakuranga walkway, that is my bicycle

 

Now, I am worried, stressed and mildly freaking out. I know how difficult it was the last time I tried to look for houses in Auckland. Now I have to do it again along with getting my studies done and earning more money so that I can afford a house. When I got to know, I knew that my good fortune will not shine, however I also knew there wouldn’t be total darkness. That things are going to get tougher, and I may still make a lot of mistakes in the coming days. But I can’t just sit here and do nothing.

Now, when I am almost done with househunting (or room hunting), and the experience was not as bad as it was the last time. I knew what I wanted, the location I wanted and the cost. I knew my parameters, my limits. It was not as bad as it was the last time. Obviously, I didn’t expect something perfect, or a house with pets, what I am getting is perfect for the time being.

And even if things do get worse, I do have the feeling that I can figure it out. Eventually.

Sometimes I Surprise Myself


I have been cooking in a new country for a month now. Sadly, only once my cooking has produced something that I couldn’t get enough of.

I do not cook bad all the time. I don’t cook amazing either. The very first time I cooked lamb chops, I followed a recipe. The result was so good, that I wanted to cry in joy at the taste.  ‘I made this’ I thought amazed. And I have been trying to reproduce the results ever since.

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But aside from the served dish, there are a couple of cooking things that I have mastered.

I heat up oil in the pan and add mustard seeds. The seeds pop and emit a great fragrance. I can add oil-blackened seeds to rice, lentils or anything else I have made. The aroma of the fried seeds, called tadka in India, is so good that everyone say ‘smells good’. I smile and try to tell them I didn’t do nothin’.

I don’t like large chunks of vegetables. Actually, I don’t like vegetables in general but I understand their importance in my food. So I spend time meticulously cutting onions, potatoes, carrots. As finely as I could. My previous housekeeper asked me how do I find so much time, I should just cook them in whatever shape they are. I didn’t tell her the answer but I don’t like that way, I like the way these small vegetables taste. The surprising thing: the chopped onions are now almost perfectly diced.And then I caramelise them so they are almost burnt. I could eat that with everything.

I have made mistakes. Twice, I cut my fingers with chef’s knife, once cutting onions and yesterday while cutting potatoes. After I bandaged my finger yesterday, my eyebrows were raised. ‘Wow, that was bloody efficient of you’ I praise myself (no pun intended) but I’m the clumsiest person I have ever had the pleasure of meeting.

Roommates cook, sometimes I watch them. That’s how I learned how to cook pasta, embarrassingly. I praise them when their food looks or smell fabulous. Sometimes they offer their good food to taste, sometimes they don’t. I always offer food to taste. Food is always better when shared.

When I got here, I was prepared to eat anything I could cook. I was wrong, I want to eat food that does not makes me nauseous. If that means that I have to spend more time in prep so be it. I spend more than an hour cooking. I don’t regret it, I have found that cooking is actually fun.

I never expected myself to say that.

PS: I just completed 2 years on my blog.

Transit Friends


That is what I call them.

When I moved to Auckland, I had a plan. Live temporarily in this place while I look for a good apartment near my university. Call it my incompetence to get a good apartment near to my university, or the fact that I loved my area so much that I never moved.

I was supposed to get a good place, but I didn’t want to leave a better place either.

The people I met here are a special highlight. Not all of them are great, many like me are introverted. When the conversations start though, they were a unique experience.

They are all travellers. None of them are talking about the money they have, or the wild experiences they had. It’s simple, none are trying to impress anyone.

When I moved in, there were a couple of people living here already. These travellers are way past their studying years and now are making a living on the go. They travel, earn money and then travel some more. The cycle is repeated till I don’t know when, I never asked. They had fascinating tales, even better passports which could very well be out of a travelogue or self help book.

In my first week I met 4 Brits who were staying over for a weekend. Real cool guys, and as luck would have it we shared a room. There was another guy in the same room and he snored. I was jetlagged and couldn’t sleep. The 4 Brits couldn’t sleep because of the snores. We all stayed awake that night talking to one another about how to shut the snoring up, what other ways a corn can be used and my personal favourite was a tale of a lodge they slept one  night and swore never to return to such a place again. I can’t remember laughing like that in a long time.

As it was my first week here, I missed my home food and had bought Indian (expensive) food in desperation. I had no hesitation to share the food.

I met a Japanese girl here. Unlike the other travellers that I keep encountering she had no clue what she was doing, what she wanted to eat and what she wanted to buy. She hung around with me for a couple of days. I am sure she would be cursing me for making her walk from one place to the other simply because I didn’t want to use the more expensive bus. She was fun in her different way. Of all the people that I met here, she is the only one who I befriended on Facebook. And now I don’t text her either.

A very generous bunch of travellers gave me their guitar. We spoke the night they arrived, tired and cranky. Crazy dudes, a quiet girlfriend of one of the guys. Possibly the friendliest bunch ever, I would love to travel with such a group. I closed up all my work as I listened to them talking about Bali, India, Australia. Where to get cheap flights from, where to party hardest and where they found peace: they knew it all. For a first time traveller like me, I can only stare in fascination at their passports with multiple immigration stamps and visas. I was spellbound. The couple were engaged but he wanted his fiancée to travel the world like he did, on her own. He said ‘I want her to experience the things I did. I don’t want her to regret it.’ He didn’t have to tell me that but he did.

They moved to the city a day later, I lost their numbers. I also knew I would never contact them. I am weird that way.

There was a couple from Poland I remember. The guy had an awesome collection of folk music that I forgot to take. They told me where to buy good white wraps from which I substitute as rotis. They told me they were interrogated at the airport when they arrived at Auckland only because they were from Poland. The girl never spoke a word.

In the last month’s Lantern festival, I went alone on the first day and on the last day I oversold the festival and took two Germans and the Japanese girl along. I just didn’t want to go alone I guess. Like everyone else the Germans were travellers too. I kept asking questions about the places they have been to, things they have done.

Not every person is great though. Sometimes I wanted to run out of the room because a roommate looked scary. I maintained my cool. A chinese family snored like tractors in the night and I slept on the couch. I didn’t complain to them when they asked me why did I sleep on the couch. The couch is also very comfortable for me.

A Czech republic girl played the most soothing version of Tears of Heaven in the night. I slept like a baby listening to that tune. A guy never stopped drinking beer.

Days turned to weeks and now it has been a month. I can’t count the number of people I have met. I don’t want to because I would have a number of people that have left the house since I moved in.

I read about this on his blog ‘Into The Mild’ but until now I never realized what he really meant. The worst part about meeting so many people is that they leave. I know the probability of ever meeting them again is extremely slim. Unless I stay at the same place and hope that the Belgian guys decide to come here again or the Japanese girl wants to travel Auckland again.

A house like this is perfect for me: I will not be depended upon anyone. I wanted that, needed it. I don’t want to be at the mercy of other people’s kindness ever again.

But that doesn’t mean that I don’t wish some of these great, funny people I met would live at the home for a little longer. For I can get out of my natural inhibitions and ask for their numbers and contact. And maybe speak to them again.

For now, I can see almost everyone I knew leaving the house this weekend. I can only sit and bid farewell because like them, I am too their in-transit friend.

Level 2016: You Are Just Going To Get Harder Aren’t You?


If life is compared to a computer game then each year would be a level.

In the beginning of the level, it seems easier but with time it gets harder and harder. You pray for the demon to appear so you could beat him and finish the level.

If life is a computer game, then that demon really cannot be defeated. Because that bastard reiterates itself in multiple forms that it no longer have a name or face. That demon can be beat but then you will be wary of its reappearance.

If life is a computer game, then the game developer must be one of the sneaky ones. Because this game does not drop hints of the coming monstrosity. However, in the game developer’s defence, there are no intimation of blissful moments either. Sneaky and gracious game developer then.

If life is a computer game then most times you get hurt. However there is no reset button, if you die there is no reincarnation at the hospital like its GTA. There are no cheat code to gain weapons so that you can kill away the bastards in life. Then again, you realize you cannot hurt even a fly, killing is way out of your league.

Friends are those bonus which come irregularly but revitalize your life. Family is the thing that can sap your energy but without them the game is worthless. Game scores become irrelevant after enough game-play because the missions matter more. You already know you can’t get a perfect score; unless of course you have money.

If life is a computer game then level 2016 is going to be tougher than 2015.

There will be more heartbreak, more brutalities, sporadic joys. But maybe you have finally gotten the hang of it now.

Now you, if life is a computer game then you know where to look if you are almost out of power. You almost can see the trap coming from a couple of meters away. And you also know that you might be wrong. You would know what you are looking for, it won’t be absolute but it will be enough for now.

If 2016 is a game level, then there are a lot of levels left to play, so do not give up. Because you will die, so take your time and get up again. The rules are almost discernible now. Life is difficult, levels are more difficult and love is impossible.

But you play this computer game of life, cause only then there’s any meaning. Cause only then there’s Elysium in hardships.

Thank You: We ought to say it more


Because we do not say thank you to anyone any more.

Not to family or friends, the prospect of saying thank you to people who owe us nothing is a far fetched dream. A irony of this lack of expression is social media though.

Say Thank You to the people, like the conductor who punched your ticket on the public transport, or the guy who held the elevator for you. Or for that matter who kept the door open when you walked in with your hands full. Their deeds are not extraordinary, but necessary nonetheless.


Thank You is a simple thing to say, common words in every language.  If used apropos, they can explicit the gratitude.

I am trying to be genuine in my expression. It is difficult because everyone is a skeptic, but it doesn’t hurt to try.

A while ago, I met a girl who said Thanks to everyone. The ticket conductor, the rickshaw driver, the person who served our meals. Intrigued and awestruck I asked her why. Her answer was a shrug, a habit I guessed was ingrained in her demeanour.

I unwittingly adopted her habit. Soon I said thank you to the elevator man, the lunch boy, canteen boy, watchman, neighbour. Yeah, pretty much everybody.

It feels good, when you say Thank you to the conductor who just gave you change when commuting. It feels better when you say thanks for doing his job. Same goes for grocery shopping, say thank you and the stall owner and he is bound to greet you back with his hands raised and posed in a Namaste or a Salaam.

Seriously, try it.


A month ago, I took a bus home. Unfortunately, I had a 500 rupee note, 16 rupee change and the ticket was a mere 26 rupee in comparison. The conductor had no change to give me. He did not want to risk taking the note from me either, he explained that recently there is a plethora of fake currency. 

He respectfully (that is a miracle in itself) asked me to get down at the next stop and take the next bus.

Distressed, I fumed about what to do because I did not want to wait for the next bus. It was already a long day at the office. The guy who sat in front of me overheard our conversation and offered to pay the remainder. That was bigger miracle.

In a small conversation he gave me a huge lesson in humility; he told me he was stuck with some money issue in the bus. Someone helped him out too then. Now he helped me out and asked me to help out another such stuck commuter if I could.

I promised that I will, thanking him more than once. I also made a promise to buy his ticket the next time we meet. Unfortunately, I no longer remember his name, face. He is now another random face in the crowd for me.

I still have not helped any other commuter in a similar fashion, but I help in any way possible.


There is more than one instance when the thank you is not acknowledged.

I get it, the listener may not have heard me. Maybe they were having a bad day. Its cool, its all cool.

Like I said, I enjoy saying the words. It is ingrained in me by my own deeds,  a habit that I do not want to obviate.

The heart of the issue is most of the people do not say thank you. They act as they do not even care. I do not help people for their thank you, and at the risk of sounding a hypocrite, that nonchalance is offending.

I feel like staring at the people for whom I just kept the elevator waiting (this happens a lot of time in my office) to coerce them into saying thank you.

Like the girl however, I just shrug it off.


The irony of this situation is social media. For me saying thank you is not manners but I am assuming that they are manners for every other socialite.

On Facebook, Twitter and everywhere else, manners are rigorously followed. Every comment gets a thank you.

But in real life, thank you is lost, meaningless and taken for granted.

It says something about us, my generation. We consider the same words as a sign of weakness.

Suddenly, due to pop culture idolizing the stolid, arrogant protagonists and other ignorant heretics, saying and acknowledging other people’s kindness depicts a weak individual.

Seriously, WTF!


In stark contrast, help out an old person and wait till you hear him say Thank You Beta (son). There is the zenith of humility and graciousness. The qualities one should be chasing and not money.

I remember speaking to a good friend once and she told me about her classmates. One thing we both agreed on is the lack of humility everywhere. Everyone is a braggadocio. Everyone wants to prove their superiority. No one wants to help though, no one can say thank you and sorry anymore.

We debate about intolerance and feminism. We have not yet learned the basic, easy humane values. Then we wonder what is wrong with the world.

Guest Post #5: Quest for a Right Job


Here’s Melissa’s post. Do have a read, I for one found some great inspiration from reading this. This is one guest post I have not edited for it deserved to be as it is. Her Blog ‘In Between Moderation‘ is amazing and worthy of a follow.
You can also check out her interview. Take the stage Melissa:

With a knotted stomach I hit send on my application. This is probably the 23th job I have applied for in the past 20 years averaging to a job a year. The case however is different; I have been with the same company for several years. However, I have switched positions in a vain attempt to find where I fit. That’s the thing about the working world. It’s hard to know what you are meant to do. Sometimes it is self-doubt that derails you, sometimes it is poor timing, bad economy, or just happenstance.

My career path had been close to a jagged line with peaks and valleys then an upward curving trajectory. After graduating collage I thought, in a naive misguided way, that it would be smooth sailing. Just find a job in my field and happily plug away. That was until I received my first paycheck…and realized it was not enough to cover my rent. What about all that schooling! They told me a college degree was what I needed to set myself up for a good steady stream of income. Arrange my life to have the 2.5 kids and white picket fence of my dreams. I remember staring at the paycheck in disbelief. What I was told in collage was a lie. No dream job was waiting for me when I graduated. No automatic insurance into a good life came with my diploma. I had to change my plans.

Thus ensued my search for the “right” job. A job that didn’t make me feel like I was surrounded by characters from the movie “Office Space,” and that didn’t evoke feelings of the opening scene in “Joe vs. The Volcano.”  After spending two years fruitlessly trying to make my collage degree worth something in my chosen field. I got tired of living at the poverty line and decided to ” get a real job,” with set hours and benefits.

What I didn’t know was this job came with a shackle that handcuffed me to my desk and measured every moment of production possible. That included timed bathroom breaks and various acronyms for measuring of productivity. AHT, WID, these that were suppose to have some sort of meaning to me, but never did. I bounce around to several of these types of jobs feeling pretty lost but making enough money to live on.

This time was not a totally loss however, the jobs were draining and unfulfilling but I learned a lot about how I worked and how to get along in an office environment. I learned how to interview for jobs. Mainly when to keep my mouth shut. However, I hated this type of environment, and its lack of freedom. I often hoped I would have a car accident so I would have an excuse not to go to work.

After several years the company decided to move. Everyone was terrified. I was relieved. This was it. This was my way out. But to where? I still did not know. I bounced around to several more jobs until I found the company I have been with. I settled here. Why? The people were not insane, I was not chained to a desk and I enjoyed the environment. Was the job fulfilling… no. I got board pretty quickly.

However, this was another transition point in life where I learned about myself. I got married and gave birth to two children. I found an unusual amount of support in the people I worked with. I learned how to better get along with those of differing viewpoints. I learned that my boss is not an evil maladjusted wackjob, hell bent on making me miserable. They are people who are just trying to get through the day and even if they like you they have to do their job too. The other employee’s came to be like family to me, mean older sisters and spoiled younger brothers at times, but they were there for me when I needed a family. I didn’t know until then a job could offer that.

As far as the work however, I created nothing, left no mark, had no new skills to learn and after a time become board and disgruntled. I needed to move on. So I did. Moved into a position that I thought would allow me to grow. Somewhere I thought would finally lead to a career, to a place where I fit. Unfortunately, this was not it. My hopes where soon dashed in a position that held no movement or growth. It was filled with fossils of an old régime who guarded there knowledge like “my precious” in Lord of the Rings. I was given minimal tasks and little human interaction. This began to weigh on my mind, and my self worth. Little mistakes became inflated. With no were to go, I felt trapped like a claustrophobic in a box.

But as in all the jobs I had prior, I turned inward for my lessons. There was growth to be had but it was inside of me. I needed to identify who I was outside of what I did for a job. Thus began my blog at Inbetweenmoderation.com. I also embarked on the journey of making a cake decorating hobby into a viable side business. Most importantly, I searched beyond my employer to define what I choose to give back to society. This has lead me to try something difference and in the end try for a position that I would have never thought I stood a chance in.

Where am I going with this? The jobs I have had might have seemed like a stagnant void of despair. It might have seemed like I was standing still for all those years, searching for somewhere I fit. I have come to realize that each job was a stepping stone, a place marker for something I need to learn about myself. The growth and change needed to take place in me. I needed to learn about myself before I could ever understand where I fit. So as you go thru your career and job landscape remember, it isn’t the job that make you who you are. It is you that makes you who you are. The job only a part of the journey, but finding where you fit is so much more then any job give you. You find where you fit when you finally figure out what job fits for you.


Thank you Melissa for this wonderful post.

PS: I am still open for more guest bloggers and I encourage more to come. If interested then contact me on: itsmayurremember@gmail.com
(image credits: yorksolutions.com)
Guest Blog

Guest Post #4: Busy Bees


Without much adieu, here’s the guest post by Alisha, do check out her blog “LifeEventsObservation“. Check out her interview here.


Are we ever free? No, we are ALWAYS busy. Timed actions and controlled words. Here’s life:

7:00 wake up
7:30 breakfast
8:00 off to work
9:00 work
10:00 Continue working…

No breathing time, we are too busy to gawk around. We look forward to something new, all the time.  Our attention is hardly on now. While at work, we are looking forward to going home and taking a nap.  When we are almost going off to bed, we plan the next day.  Making plans is not unusual. It keeps us motivated, makes us hop with vigour.

But where’s the time to paint? Where’s the time to read or to sing discordantly? To dance like there’s no tomorrow? Where’s the time for ourselves?

We are following the flock. Be the shepherd and change directions. Routine is boring. Avoid it!! It’s lethal!

I have known amazing people with mind throbbing lifestyles who at the age of 35-40 want to give it all up and withdraw into a normal life. They are the victims of routine. They have a nice car, a beautiful mansion, sons and daughters, loads of money yet they aren’t content.

What’s lacking here?  Time: they don’t have time for themselves.

They, or I say, we are living for the world. We have lost the true meaning and purpose of life. Satisfaction, peace, spirituality, inner happiness: these are all waiting for us to summon them up.

Imagine, you get two options to choose from:
1. At 25: little but enough money to satiate common pleasures, living the life you want to

OR

2. Living like the rest of the world, working hard, saving bank money and touring the world at 65?

I’ll choose the former. I’ll tell you why!

When you’re old, and, well, touring the world, you cannot eat junk food, cause it will trouble your super sensitive digestive tummy. You get cramps in your legs, aches in your back, head, and stomach, almost everywhere. You cannot drink through the night or dance to the blaring music. Your body would need rest, YOU would need rest.

Think about yourself! Do what you want! Hell with the world.

It’s trying to bring you down while it’s already beneath you. Talk to a roadside peddler, know their life, eat at cheap restaurants, board a bus taking you to an unknown place, purchase a ticket of Mission Impossible and sneak into the auditorium screening of Inside out.

Just do it!

It’s hell lot of fun. Be a kid. It’s screaming inside us. Let your craziness take hold of you. Get the door!

Explore the world!

Feel beautiful. 🙂


Thank You Alisha for the support.

PS: I am still open for more guest bloggers and I encourage more to come. If interested then contact me on: itsmayurremember@gmail.com

Down Memory Lane


Mulund. Devi Dayal road. My father’s home.

We visited an aunt last Saturday. After a long time, we met her and I thoroughly enjoyed it. We got to know that the lane in which my father lived his childhood has changed, the buildings are replaced by residential towers, the road is bigger and slum dwellers at the end of the lane are now up scaled to a building.

Only thing that stayed the same was Hanuman Temple.

My mother’s curiosity gave the necessary nudge and we walked father’s lane,  down memory lane.

I have heard my father’s childhood stories numerous times. Nonetheless they are always hogged down by my ears, my face may actually light up on hearing those stories.

He pointed out small garage type house that his family of 10 or more used to live in, I feel proud to see how far he has come, how humble his origins are, somewhat closer to understand why he aspires greatness from me. That house is now the office of Rotary Club.

Father’s friend used to live in the building opposite, now there’s a new ornate tower standing there, the friend moved away now.

My mind begun coining a line, something inspired from a WWE match I saw. Before I digress and ramble upon my fandom of The Undertaker, I’ll quote the lines:

Fortune fame 
Mirror vain 
Gone insane 
But the memory remains 

Buildings torn down. Shopkeepers changed. Gardens built anew. Pictures faded. Friends moved away. But the memory remains.

As our trip down the memory lane finished, the stories were just getting started. Father told me again about how he and his friends would hang out at the gate the Lalchand Laxmibai hostel, his school Dayanand vedic highschool. His tea ‘adda’ or spot with his friends and later my mom joined him after marriage at paach rasta. (five way junction) He remembers the cost, 4 paise for a cutting tea back then.

He showed us his favorite restaurant in its early days, Kirti Mahal. That restaurant is extremely popular now, with a huge queue waiting for their turn. His pals would visit the restaurant and with hand skills steal spoons and forks for their hostel. My dad looked for a pan wala but that shop was missing.

Alas, no visit to past memories would be complete without loss. He found out that one of his school classmates passed away a year ago.

I had great hopes for finishing this evening with the best dinner possible: Pav Bhaji from the stall that he used to eat from. Yes that stall is still there after 40 years, the food delicious.

After waiting for 30 minutes for the food, I quickly hogged it down, burped on the road without any shame. My dad satisfied by eating there, greeting the busy cook.

The evening was a mix of melancholy and ebullience.

It made me think about why I always loved Mulund more than my home Dombivali(both are city names).

The former has a family connection, it feels homely. It feels part of my heritage, my roots arise there. The exact same feeling arises when I visit my maternal grandparents.

There’s a bond there which runs across a generation. It is like homecoming.

Captivated


Many people catch my attention but only few of them truly captivate me.

Today I met an extraordinary woman.

She is my aunt’s mother, easily older than 80 years.

I don’t know her name, her last name I learnt from the nameplate.  I am clueless about her education, her marriage, her accomplishments or her regrets: because I didn’t ask them.

In fact I didn’t ask her anything, I just watched her in wide eyed wonder. I observed her energy and cordial personality, a person captivated.

Yes, captivated.

She couldn’t hear anymore but that didn’t impede her loquacious nature, she can lip read everyone: me, my parents, my aunt, even the actors on TV! Her focus oscillated from one person to the next as we spoke, she wanted to be a part of the conversation.

She spoke with everyone, she made me feel as a part of her family even if I had just met her for the very first time. I am part of her family, to her my father is like her son.

I heard her stories and her theories. She doesn’t leave her house anymore because she wants to pass away at her own home, she doesn’t want to taint her sons’ houses with her death.

Back when my father was a child, she used to summon him for small errands, my father never said no. Today when they met she told him she has some work for him, he still didn’t say no.

Her two favorite things are the bank and moving. Yes, I said she doesn’t leave her home so wait.
Her residential area is under remodeling. Old buildings are being replaced with new towers, the previous residents are given apartments in the new tower. She keeps making arrangement for a new temporary apartment even though her building is not scheduled for remaking. In fact, the plan is just under talks and nothing is finalized.

She is meticulous about her accounts, always checking to see if her money’s still there. Nowadays she calls over a nearby kid, pays him 15 rs to go and check her account! The same kid was also summoned to visit her cousin who was hospitalized.

She has a diary, all the people who she knows are in it. Contact numbers, their residences everything. She has maintained it over the years so well that my aunt only uses her diary as a contact list. She took our numbers today.

Like I said her gregarious nature doesn’t permit her to stay aloof, she calls people and speaks to them over loudspeaker of the phone. According to my aunt, her telephonic conversations are a shouting match.

I love her, I don’t have any blood ties with her but I wish there should be one, no matter how distant. Her diabetes has no control over her, she would eat rice and sweets whenever my aunt’s unaware.

Funniest thing is that she is always smiling. She is unique in that, her frankness and motherly nature. If you were there, you would probably touch her legs in awe and respect. Like I said I was captivated.

Before we left her abode, she gave me and my brother ten rupee notes. I never do this but I marked her note and vowed to never spend it. When she made me vow to never spend it later at the door, I wanted to hug her and say I was never going to spend it anyway.

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This is the goal. To be so venerated, to possess such candor, to meet another youngster and make him captivated.

After all, what is life’s goal but to be remembered.

Your Eyes


(Daily Prompt : Born To Be With You
Not completely related but I found some connection so I am putting this in connection)

Literary Lion: Eye
(I’m being lazy by not writing another post but I already have written this!)

I saw you in train, I was soaked from the rains. I couldn’t see your face. Your niqab covered your face. But I saw your eyes. All I saw was your eyes. Those soft round eyes surrounded by chalk white skin. Some mascara maybe. The deep black irises. I don’t think i have been so enthralled by eyes ever before.

I kept looking, occasionally realizing that I have to look somewhere else. I don’t know if you noticed my stare, because if you did then I would have been bitten senseless in the train. I don’t know how your face looked, I couldn’t hear your voice but I saw your eyes and for me that was enough. Black as a moonless night, I don’t know if iris are ever this black. I stared because there was something about them, I know it was wrong.

I don’t think you noticed anybody in the train. For you were enthralled by your boyfriend on who’s shoulder you kept your head. And he kept talking, his voice getting louder as if he spoke with the entire compartment and not just you. I would have kept quiet and stared. Stared at something so small and so immensely beautiful.

I don’t think I’ll meet you again. I won’t remember you either in a week.

And I went home, forlorn, listening to James Blunt sing ‘You’re beautiful ’

Check out other people’s responses :
http://kosheradobo.com/2013/10/29/orange-crush/
http://jitterygt.wordpress.com/2014/03/29/neurosis-from-a-to-z/
http://bessjonesphotography.wordpress.com/2014/03/29/born-to-be-with-you-bess-you-is-my-woman-now-daily-prompt/
http://sincerelyherz.wordpress.com/2014/03/19/bitten-by-the-love-bug/
http://agent909.wordpress.com/2014/03/29/daily-prompt-born-to-be-with-you-psychology-behind-choosing-to-like-people-we-met/
http://sincerelyherz.wordpress.com/2014/03/27/emily-and-justin-the-proposal/
http://themagicblackbook.wordpress.com/2014/03/29/born-to-be-with-you/
http://sabethville.wordpress.com/2014/03/29/dp-daily-prompt-born-to-be-with-you/
http://childrencount.wordpress.com/2014/03/29/born-to-be-with-you/
http://notjustanyotherblog.wordpress.com/2014/03/03/be-the-edward-to-my-vivian/
http://seikaiha.wordpress.com/2014/03/29/daily-prompt-born-to-be-with-you/
http://jigokucho.wordpress.com/2014/03/29/about-a-panda/
http://mcswhispers.wordpress.com/2012/10/28/love-life-and-loss/
http://myauthoritis.wordpress.com/2014/03/29/she-loves-me/
http://lifesansgod.wordpress.com/2014/03/29/the-one-i-love/
http://wordywings.wordpress.com/2014/03/29/born-to-be-with-you-daily-prompt/
http://mcwilson1956.wordpress.com/2014/03/29/recharging-the-cell-phone/
http://eastelmhurstagogo.wordpress.com/2014/03/29/people-let-me-tell-you-about-my-best-friend/
Born To Be With You
http://meanderedwanderings.wordpress.com/2014/03/29/opposites-attract/
http://thebohemianrockstarpresents.wordpress.com/2014/03/29/an-ode-to-a-soul-mate-who-doesnt-exist/
http://averildean.wordpress.com/2014/03/29/cradle/
http://flowersandbreezes.wordpress.com/2014/03/29/my-sun-my-life/
http://viewsplash.wordpress.com/2014/03/29/welcome-back/
Born to be with You: Daily Post
http://neverstationary.wordpress.com/2013/05/25/this-kid-i-know-michelle/
http://neverstationary.wordpress.com/2012/11/20/how-to-be-a-best-friend/
http://asianchemnerd.wordpress.com/2014/03/29/born-to-be-with-you/
http://marthakennedy.wordpress.com/2014/03/29/give-her-the-truth-serum-now/
http://myatheistblog.com/2014/03/29/daily-prompt-born-to-be-with-you/
http://kate0murray.wordpress.com/2014/03/29/soul-mates/
http://gulliblestravelsdma.wordpress.com/2014/03/29/let-me-tell-you-a-secret/
http://jilliannette.wordpress.com/2014/03/29/my-virtual-best-friend/
http://disappearingwoman.wordpress.com/2014/03/29/every-fiber-of-my-being/
Love Crime, Acts of Love, and wacky love bits: this week’s weird news
http://ohthatwaspoetry.wordpress.com/2014/03/29/born-to-be-with-you/
http://remissionary.wordpress.com/2014/03/29/we-go-together-like-a-bird-and-a-feather/
http://arrythmatic.wordpress.com/2014/03/29/dear-stephen/
http://hudleyflipside.org/2014/03/29/the-swale-and-the-swirl-of-now/
http://daniellemcfarlane.wordpress.com/2014/03/29/daily-prompt-born-to-be-with-you/
http://startingwritenow.com/2014/03/29/soulmate/
http://basicallybeyondbasic.com/2014/03/29/daily-prompt-born-to-be-with-you/
http://myrenaissanceblog.wordpress.com/2014/03/29/how-i-met-my-beast-my-love-my-christopher/
http://yellowbrickroad7.wordpress.com/2014/03/29/my-person/
http://incidentsofadysfunctionalspraffer.wordpress.com/2014/03/29/daily-prompt-born-to-be-with-you/
http://myjourneyeveryday.wordpress.com/2014/03/29/born-to-be-with-you/
http://loveletterstoaghost.wordpress.com/2014/03/29/doorsteps-and-parking-lots/
http://yichinglin.wordpress.com/2014/03/29/in-intro-to-anatomy/
http://hometogo232.wordpress.com/2014/03/29/daily-prompt-born-to-be-with-you/
http://helenmeikle.wordpress.com/2014/03/30/daily-prompt-born-to-be-with-me/
http://oneeducatorsopinion.wordpress.com/2014/03/29/whats-a-girl-gonna-do-without-a-best-friend-i-have-no-idea-because-i-have-3/
Circle of Love
http://wisskko.wordpress.com/2014/03/29/strong-bond-with-her/
http://tonkadella.wordpress.com/2014/03/30/born-to-be-with-you/
http://bluejbluej.wordpress.com/2014/03/30/someone-else-would-do/
http://darkinnerthoughts.wordpress.com/2014/03/30/daily-prompt/
http://maya0615.wordpress.com/2014/03/30/daily-prompt-born-to-be-with-you/
http://dreamypepper.wordpress.com/2014/03/29/daily-prompt-born-to-be-with-you/
http://manmadeoceans.wordpress.com/2014/03/30/born-to-be-with-you/
Anamchara
http://robert-eberhard.com/2014/03/30/why-i-love-kim-and-will-be-marrying-her-soon/
Born to Be With You
http://allthingscuteandbeautiful.wordpress.com/2014/03/29/daily-prompt-being-a-soul-mate/
http://faranastus.wordpress.com/2014/03/31/for-born-to-be-with-you-daily-prompt/
http://easterellen.com/2014/03/31/meant-to-be/
http://justbeverity.wordpress.com/2014/04/02/daily-prompt-born-to-be-with-you/
http://treasurethememory.wordpress.com/2014/04/03/born-to-be-with-you/
http://shardsofsilence.wordpress.com/2014/04/05/star-crossed-lovers/
http://wildandfreeandme.wordpress.com/2014/04/16/my-greatest-fear-as-a-mother/
http://randommstuffblah.wordpress.com/2014/04/22/born-to-be-with-you/
http://emmerleener.wordpress.com/2014/04/27/to-you-with-love/
https://marthakennedy.wordpress.com/2015/07/11/molly-first-then/
https://vexingpoint.wordpress.com/2015/07/11/daily-prompt-born-to-be-with-you/
http://geekergosum.com/2015/07/11/marriage-or-born-to-be-with-you/
https://thelonerose.wordpress.com/2015/07/11/my-best-friends/
https://loisajay1213.wordpress.com/2015/07/11/daily-prompt-born-to-be-with-you-2/
https://debooworks.wordpress.com/2014/05/10/greatest-friend/
https://thecoolbookworm.wordpress.com/2015/07/11/tanya-and-ryan-3/
https://509majesty.wordpress.com/2015/07/11/gave-up-on-that/
https://irishkisses.wordpress.com/2015/07/11/a-tree-named-fred/
https://quest4voice.wordpress.com/2015/07/11/the-best-friend-and-soul-mate-ever/
and the Kitchen Sync
LOVING SWEET HAZEL
https://nonsmokingladybug.wordpress.com/2015/07/11/meant-to-be/
https://unbolt.wordpress.com/2015/04/03/an-averter/
https://flowersandbreezes.wordpress.com/2015/07/11/born-to-be-with-you/
Shoo in…
https://tessacandoit.wordpress.com/2015/07/11/born-to-be-with-you-by-the-daily-post/
https://booksearchjourney.wordpress.com/2015/07/11/darling/
https://meginwriting.wordpress.com/2015/07/11/my-two-best-friends-are-guys/
https://therealuniversitylife.wordpress.com/2015/07/11/alcohol-joint-classes-secrets-and-shenanigans/
https://promptlings.wordpress.com/2015/07/11/soul-mates/
https://myleviathan.wordpress.com/2015/07/11/going-solo/
Ah, Friday…
Reflected Glory
https://theyyouandme.wordpress.com/2015/07/11/gone-haiku/
https://myhappinessisanallegory.wordpress.com/2015/07/11/my-hero-for-the-day/
https://madgefie.wordpress.com/2015/07/11/my-bro/
https://promptlings.wordpress.com/2015/07/11/saturday-sing-a-long-daily-prompt-mash-up/
https://cshowers.wordpress.com/2015/07/11/born-to-be-with-you/
http://83unsungheroes.co.uk/2015/07/11/born-to-be-with-you/
https://alotfromlydia.wordpress.com/2015/07/11/a-soulmate/
https://ladybugswritings.wordpress.com/2015/07/11/8/
https://justsometwentysomethingrambles.wordpress.com/2015/07/11/my-best-friend-my-soul-mate/
https://nelkumi.wordpress.com/2015/07/11/all-of-the-above-and-more/
https://awonderingsoulsblog.wordpress.com/2015/07/11/my-sister/
https://paigempowell.wordpress.com/2015/07/12/can-i-take-a-hit-off-that-smile/
https://rogershipp.wordpress.com/2015/07/11/born-to-be-with-you/
http://www.rileycentral.net/my-wife-sarah-and-i/
https://deanneworld.wordpress.com/2015/07/11/im-still-loving-you/
https://18monthsindc.wordpress.com/2015/07/11/relocating-with-my-best-friend-2/
https://veracitymama.wordpress.com/2015/07/11/just-cant-do-the-soulmate-thing-today-so/
https://seifsalamakarem.wordpress.com/2013/10/28/love/
http://bookreviews1966.com/2015/07/11/daily-prompt-born-to-be-with-you/
https://shameport.wordpress.com/2015/07/07/morning/
https://thestrangeher.wordpress.com/2015/07/12/your-answer/
http://macbofisbil.com/2014/11/20/the-greatest-uncle/
https://maddqueen.wordpress.com/2015/07/12/in-his-eyes/
https://alkagirdhar.wordpress.com/2015/07/12/the-one-youre-meant-to-be-with/
https://perferviddreams.wordpress.com/2015/07/12/for-you-with-you/
https://lebomokoena99.wordpress.com/2015/07/12/born-to-be-with-you/
https://anupturnedsoul.wordpress.com/2015/07/12/when-the-soul-lies-down-in-that-grass/
https://mondozeitgeist.wordpress.com/2015/07/12/in-response-to-the-daily-posts-writing-prompt-born-to-be-with-you/
https://awordadventure.wordpress.com/2015/07/12/born-to-be-with-you-destined-meeting/
“Born to Be With You”
Sole Mate
https://deanneworld.wordpress.com/2015/07/12/that-much-more/
My Boyfriend Should be the Music Blogger: #NaBloPoMo/#DailyPost
https://yournibblednews.wordpress.com/2015/07/13/daily-post-born-to-be-with-you-soul-mate-or-just-a-kindred-spirit/
Why Do You Like Her/Him?
https://amommasview.wordpress.com/2015/07/14/born-to-be-with-you/
https://elingrace.wordpress.com/2015/07/14/seek-ye-first/

Literary lion responses:
https://unusualstrangeness.wordpress.com/2015/08/13/unseen/
https://sonyca.wordpress.com/2015/08/13/shes-had-it-coming/
https://mandibelle16.wordpress.com/2015/08/13/literary-lion-sophia-crying/
https://balconyviewz.wordpress.com/2015/08/13/anticipation-a-sonnet/
https://tuckedintoacorner.wordpress.com/2015/08/14/the-painter/
The Deadline
Literary Lion : In his mind’s eye
https://any1mark66.wordpress.com/2015/08/14/literary-lion-eye-of-stranger/
https://livehomeandaway.wordpress.com/2015/08/14/the-lens/
Apple of Her Eye
Literary Lion – Watcher
http://rfrmst.com/2015/08/16/can-you-see/
https://vnktchari.wordpress.com/2015/08/17/literary-lion-eyes-the-eyes-are-scaring-me/
https://mytakemythoughts.wordpress.com/2015/08/17/seeing-through-the-noise/
Blue sea

Feed The Sparrows


Having nothing to do is dangerous. The task less indolent mind wanders onto places and ideas that you would’ve never reached. And it’s also possible that during such a time nothing can be achieved or a lot can be found. Such is my case.
Every night I made a plan, and every night the plan differed. And with a person like me, one who has a very very vivid imagination the plans stretched far out into the future into success stories.

Dreaming with my eyes open

One such a plan was to join a NGO for animals. I love animals, and they are ones who suffer by our, we human beings, actions. They are the helpless voiceless victims of our ambitions and they deserve something back. Jimmy(my dog) thought me alot of things and it is because of him I know animals know sorrow and happiness. They are more than any other species, they are Life
So I looked for NGO that are nearby and the ones whose interests matches my own. And staying in an almost rural town doesn’t help because many NGO are so far away that it is mostly stupid to go there. Good intent but still stupid. One NGO chairman that I spoke with gave the idea of a sparrow feeder. He had the idea that we can make our own feeders and place them around the area. I have seen the same in a show called Heavy Petting On NDTV Good Times years ago. And I know because it is getting rare to see a sparrow on the balcony or window these days.

Determined to not let anything hinder me I asked the person who I knew feeds birds. The grocery store owner. You know this is true because there’s always pigeons outside his store feeding on some grains. I asked him what do pigeons and sparrows eat. With a lack of of explanation he packed some grains for me and said to place only a small quantity on the window. He is the experienced person here so I took his advice.
What do I need to feed sparrows? Some jowar (sorghum) and bajri (pearl millet).

And a place on window where I can keep the grains, probably an old gardening pot. I did that and the first day no sparrows. No pigeons. Next morning I was greeted with the sweet cooing voice of the sparrows. By mid morning the window had at least three four sparrows perched, each adding their own voices to a song whose meaning was unintelligible to me. But it was melodious.

Never thought that voices like that would be so peaceful to hear

So every day I fed them, everyday their voices brought some life into the house that was mostly empty. And then the pigeons arrived. The birds which are at least twice the size of an average sparrow and when they ate no sparrows could even perch on the same window. To counter this I made two pots, and one of them was hanging from the ceiling. Much to the annoyance of my mom, who didn’t want any birds to damage any of the plants that she had planted, I fed both pigeons and sparrows. The one hanging from the ceiling is for sparrows only and I make sure no pigeon tries to eat from there.

The melody of the birds returned after a day and now it’s part of my morning routine. Get up, drink tea and then serve the grains for the new guests of the house. And it is the simplest thing.

So I urge you, if there’s anything that you can do,and which doesn’t require much of your efforts it is this. Feed the sparrows. It is as simple as watering the plants which is already a part of most people’s morning routine mine included. Buy grains, install a pot and every morning serve grains.



PS:
The sparrows come primarily in the morning and evening around 4-6 pm. Everyday. And they fly from windowsill to pot,  loud and full of energy. And for people who care about animals, this might be a simple way to start. No huge efforts, minimal responsibility and heart warming results.

Check out this page: Sparrow Shelter

What Do You Want to Do in Life?


My dad sat with me the other night to have a very important talk. I expected the conversation to involve drinking or something related to it. Instead he shocked me by asking a question I was never ready for. I will probably be never be able to answer.

Beta kya karna hai life me? ‘what do you want to do with your life? ’

*******

Two months and so many job applications. I have been choosy and more than haphazard in my options. So till date I’m still looking for a job that I’ll go and say yes without slightest hesitation. Idealistic and dreamy view.

I wrote two pieces about my recent interviews and I have realized that I have made my share of mistakes. My brain though is amazing in figuring out where a circuit is faulty is not so speedy recovering from unprepared questions thrown at me.

*****
I couldn’t answer my father. I didn’t lie, I said I don’t know what I want to do with my life, I am confused. I am trying to figure things out. One step at a time but I need some experience to understand my capabilities and my interests. He never pushed me neither did he gave a reprimand for not knowing the answers. Usually this question sends me to Dark corner where there is no return for a day or two. This time I stood and tried my best to answer it. And I intend to make sure I have an answer for it.

And as the decision dragged on they said that I give up too soon. I might be a cantankerous and testy asshole but I never give up. And then I kept quiet. Because I knew now my words are useless and I had to get things sorted.

*****

I have no idea how or when my parents decided to visit a fortune teller. They have their own faith and while I can’t say the same I couldn’t oppose it even if I wanted to. Because they never told us where we were going.

My brother lost his job recently. And while we are really confident that he can dust this off in no time and pick another great opportunity, we all are worried for him. And my parents had two reasons to visit the teller. And the revelations were fantastic/hilarious.

They intend to make a locket for me because I’m a sloth and that’s the way to make a person active. I don’t my parent’s concern or care but I do think it is pretty useless. I said if you both believe it then I’ll wear. The decision was instantaneous.

The funny part was when they exclaimed that they asked about my marriage. Apparently I’m going to have a love marriage. I’m sure that’s fortune’s way of mocking me.

*******
I made a to do list. It’s huge and it’s constantly being amended. And just last week when I thought I had a great life I realize that’s because I let procrastination get the better off me. This list has unfinished items from atleast six months. Prominent among them is to get my slurred speech remedied. I am not going to be mocked because I can’t pronounce Roller.

I still don’t have answers. But I am going to try get them. And I won’t quit.

******

I had another interview. This one via a contact and this time something that I know is perfect for me.

And I didn’t keep quiet when he said this isn’t the job for me. I tried, I tried harder to somehow change his answer from ‘we have no job openings’ to something affirmative. Something that shows a glimmer of hope. Nada.

Another job I’m not made for apparently

******

My juniors ask me for suggestions in their project and GRE and placement. Everything they ask. And I don’t blame them, guidance is needed.

So if you are reading this and you know you are going to have to face a similar situation as my juniors my advice would be the same.

Go for it. Couple of redundant certificates don’t hurt. Do whatever comes your way for now. Do them till you figure out the answers to the questions I can’t answer. Tap on every opportunity you can get. You don’t know where your life will head. So don’t be an idiot and think you have everything figured out. Go for it.

People Suck!


*This is a rant. There’s a possibility that none of this is meant for you but for the people I have in my life and I can’t just get rid of*

Yes I said it. Yes its mean. Yes I am Rambling and ranting but i hate people.

All you ever do is make life worse. Hardly do you ever bring to the table something good, hell you don’t eve bring yourselves most of the times deciding to wear a mask rather than show who you are.

You in all your diplomacy and crafty choice of words.

You in your facebook statuses and instagram post. All you ever do is brag, i can’t seem to remember the last time there was anything sad there. Ever!

Yes you suck. Because you get everything you are looking for, with absolutely no efforts whatsoever. And no I am looking closely, I would have noticed if you are trying to make it look very easy. There’s no efforts. Just a smile and things just fall into place for you.

There’s no sorrow. There’s no regards for your friends. There’s just you and still people just scramble for your feet. No one cares if you use them and throw them away. Nope! everything’s cool.

You are mean. The rules to make you happy change in a second. There’s hypocrisy of unparalleled levels yet everyone keeps their mouth shut. Why? because it will hurt feelings. Where’s that consideration when you are being mean to me?!

And I hate you. Not because you are inhuman nor because you are an absolute asshole, but because the field’s never equal between us. No amount of good I do will ever wipe out the bad I did, but you never have to do anything good. I will never get another chance and there you will be able to be choosy with chances. I will always earn less, struggle more and lay awake at night thinking what to do tomorrow while you will be having another great night. Everyone will praise me and say shit about you yet when the time’s come then I stand alone.

Yes its just a few people who are this way but its these people who make me think its better to spend time with my dog rather than try to fit in this world.

Introspection


I got nominated by Adi to participate in the Freestyle Writing Challenge, which is a great little exercise in fluid, un-interrupted writing.

So here are the RULES of this challenge:

1.Open an MS Word document

2. Set a stop watch or your mobile to 5 minutes or 10 minutes whichever challenge you think you can beat.

3.You topic is at the foot of this post BUT DO NOT SCROLL DOWN TO SEE IT UNTIL YOU ARE READY WITH A TIMER.

4. Fill the word doc with as much words as you want. once you began writing do not stop even to turn.

5. Do not cheat by going back and correcting spellings and grammar with spell check in MS WORD (it is only meant for you to reflect on your own control of sensible thought flow and for you to reflect on your ability to write the right spelling and stick to grammar rules)

6. You may or may not pay attention to punctuation and capitals. However if you do, it would be best.

7. At the end of your post write down ‘No. Of words =_____’ so that we would have an idea of how much you can write within the time frame.

8. Do not forget to copy paste the entire passage on your blog post with a new Topic for your nominees and copy paste these rules with your nominations (at least 5 bloggers).

Here’s my article:

As I said to adi on her post that my blog is entirely introspective so writing another post isn’t that hard. But since she challenged me I’ll take it up nonetheless.

I read books, a lot of them anyway. I watch movies and anything else that seems remotely intersong on the TV. Music is the same.

I have read mystery novels, a huge bunch of fantasy novels and a lot of novels whose genre I myself never bothered to check.

Movie’s though I make sure I always check imdb before I watch it, there’s still a ton of movies that I watched simply because I liked the title.

Music is more fickle. Edm, trance, rock, alternative, country, soul, Sufi, Bollywood pop etc etc. I have heard it all mostly, and yet I always change my favorite genre.

The point I’m making is this: I always almost like whatever I’m watching/reading/listening. You can check my good reads page there is only positive reviews. I never have anything bad to say about whatever I watch etc.

It has always been the way. I like almost everything. I guess you can it being tasteless.

I would say just like Rocky Balboa “I like everybody(/thing)”

Time: 5 min

Word: 201. (Yuck! i had a great speed around my GRE exams!)

The nominees are:

1. Architarai

2. Akriti

3. Kay

4. Jai Vyas

5. Random musings

6. Adi(Revenge!)

Your topic: Ephemeral

You Have 5/10 minutes to write whatever you can.