The Waiting Game


When I applied for New Zealand residency visa in December, I had a plan.

  1. Apply : December 2018
  2. Wait the estimated time of processing: 6 months, i.e until June-July 2019.
  3. It will possibly get delayed, let’s say by half the estimated time so 3 months of buffer time, i.e September 2019.

Usually, for visas I am pretty tense. My past experience with visa applications always had it roadblocks. My plan calmed me down and I almost forgot that I had applied for a visa in the last 9 months. After all, all I had to do was wait 6 to 9 months and then hopefully I would have an answer: either my visa would be approved or it would not.

This is how my plan has progressed:

  1. Apply: December 2018 ( check )
  2. Waiting….. ( September 2019 ).

My application has been sitting in the queue for the past 9 months. It has not been reviewed. A case officer has not been assigned. All I could do is wait. Check my email everyday to see if there is any update. Prepare to apply for another work visa because I need to stay in New Zealand.

I am not the only one who has been waiting a long time. A bunch of Radio New Zealand articles have been talking about Immigration New Zealand’s slow work for a while.

From my understanding, this has something to do with which party is in power and their promise at the time of election to cut down immigration numbers. They have successfully done that by slowing down the whole process. If I was not stuck in the middle of this, I would have applauded their method for its simplicity.

But I am. I hate this waiting game.

Blade Runner 2049 ( 2018 )


Also, after watching the original Blade Runner and then consequently watching this one, I am only going to talk about Blade Runner 2049. Also, this is not a review.

I watched this movie partially when I was India but I couldn’t immerse myself in it. The second time I watched it, I was able to. I kept the lights off, kept the volume high as I sat on my couch immersing myself in this exploration about what it means to be human.

There is something stunning to watch a life unfold in slow deliberate steps, to watch a character walking through life and then at the end making life work for him.

Yes, I loved the character of K. A guy/replicant who is hated ( racism? ) for who he is, working to hunt his own kind. I watched this lonely guy, whose only real relationship is with another non-human AI, go through a severe life shattering existential crisis.

K went from being someone who was sure of WHO HE IS, to someone who fought against evidence of what he thought HE ACTUALLY IS and just when he was about to accept his fate, that identity is again taken from him.

Through the course of the movie, I watched the character slowly lose his entire life: his work is compromised, his ( AI? ) girlfriend dies in front of him and his sense of identity dies twice. At the end, he accepted he is and does what he thinks he should do.

And for me, that is a really great story. That is a really great character.

For me, that is a inherently human character.

I am sure I am not the only one who came to this conclusion while watching this movie. I think I needed two viewings to draw these inferences from the movie.

A while back, I posted something about watching a lot of video essays on YouTube. The linked essay is one of them and I particularly love this channel as it makes me see something that I haven’t seen before or realize WHY I like a movie so much.

What is my blog about now?


I completely overlooked the fact that my blog is 4 years old. I should have made a big deal of it considering how quickly my passions oscillate. I am astonished that I haven’t let my blog die.

For the past 4 years, I kept writing without any theme in mind. I wrote about my life, some short stories and lately photo challenge posts. I enjoyed writing. I relished the feedback I received from friends in my real life and the ones I made through WordPress.

The 4 years weren’t smooth sailing,  there were times I thought about stopping. I would always come back though, usually with an urge to get my thoughts on paper.

In January, I took my blog seriously again. I had a few goals:

  1. Write every week.
  2. Generate the minimum traffic everyday.
  3. Comments, likes don’t matter even though they are always appreciated.

I knew that I would always have one viewer on my blog ( Hi Mummy! 🙂 ). But attracting people everyday to my blog was hard. Writing every week is also hard. So far, I have a few irregularities but mostly I have been successful. I won’t admit it was easy, there was a month long gap where I didn’t post anything. But I have to go on since the year’s not over.

For #2, I found two easy ways to get people on my blog: Community Pool and Photo Challenges from Daily Post. However, last week I found out that Daily Post will stop publishing new challenges and hosting pools.

Now, I have to figure out a way to keep my blog alive and post something at least weekly. I can do the latter. I do have enough ideas and content in my head to keep going. My life is exciting enough for me to do that.

I have no idea how to generate traffic. I ought to figure it out someday.

In the months since I started, I realized a few things. I don’t write for the benefit of others. My blog probably never was. It’s mine.

A glorified journal for me to log my important memories and experiences. It was for posting photos I am proud of, for posting short stories I enjoyed writing ( I haven’t done that in a while ).

So this is what this blog is about now: me. It is my attempt to keep something good in my life going. Welcome.

 

With English Language


This post has been long overdue. I first thought about writing it when I was sitting in a bar with some of my friends. Half of us are non-native English speakers. I asked them, ‘which language do you think in?’

I wish the answers they gave me were revealing. They weren’t, all of them thought about it and then shrugged ignorance. No one knew.

I remember reaching in Auckland two years ago. I remember my first conversations. I would pause before speaking because I would get my languages mixed up. Even though I am a competent multilingual, I couldn’t think of the words. I had to translate every sentence I was going to utter from Hindi to English.

I don’t remember the time when I stopped thinking in Hindi. I wish I did so that I could give a definite answer it took for me to leave my language behind. One day when I was biking home and I was thinking of which route to take when it hit me, my thoughts were articulated in English.


When I was studying for undergraduate degree or when I started working in India, I met new people. On the basis of languages, I could categorize two types: ones who would mostly speak in English and others would communicate in Hindi. I also learned that it didn’t matter as eventually everyone who could, would revert to Hindi.

It was natural, almost instinctual amongst us. Sentences would get a motley of words from both languages; idioms roughly translated and laughed at.

It didn’t matter if I couldn’t get my message across in English, I had the safety net of just doubling down to Hindi just like my peers.


In Auckland, there are numerous times when I have to re-frame my sentences because what I said was incoherent. It wasn’t particularly because of our lingo differences, I always found it difficult to form sentences on the go while speaking. Writing, on the other hand, came naturally.

There were also numerous times when I didn’t understand what other Kiwis are saying. Sometimes they would say ‘Cheers’ as thank you and other times they would exclaim ‘Sweet As!’ to express their approval. I still don’t get the second one.

I had to relearn the programming jargon so that I could use it when I am working, or explaining my code to someone.

I am not an accurate representation of every non-native speaker or everyone has the same issues. I don’t face the same issues all the time either. There have been occasions when I was perfect and then some bad days when I would stammer and lisp my way through a conversation. Probably has something to do with my level of confidence on that particular day.


I have a lot of free time in my hands these days. My friends with whom I would spend most of my weekends are gone, and I wonder what to do with them. Sometimes I think it would be a great thing to learn a new language. I ask myself, do I need to learn a new language?

Is it even useful anymore?

Then I go to an Asian supermarket and listen to people speak their language and realize: yeah it is. I really want to eavesdrop on other people’s conversations.


It was one of my first months in Auckland. I was returning home and I was sitting in the back of the bus. A group of three people were talking loudly near me and I could hear everything they said. They were talking about bacon.

‘You never have to use oil when making bacon because there is enough fat in the bacon’ one of them said. I made bacon for the first time a couple of days later.

I also looked over to the speaker and saw that he was also Indian, possibly a Kiwi national by his accent & fluency. One day, I thought.


Looking back on the different things I have done, people I have met, I know that the one day has long been crossed. English is no longer a second language, a means to illustrate my education ( India ) or a barrier ( New Zealand ).

 

Image Credits: Photo by mali maeder on Pexels.com

Parting


I met Rohit two years ago after I started my Masters. Today, he leaves New Zealand as I wait for my visa to come through. Through the past week, I have been thinking about how today might play out. What will we say to each other? Will I feel guilty about things working out for me ( visa abiding ) and not working out for him?

I have been plagued with another question too. Will I even feel anything? After all, Rohit and I were never really close. We never spoke about our hobbies or our families. We didn’t talk nor did we ever bond in our struggles. We just hung out, cooking burgers and drinking beers. I would spend most of my university days in his house. Then in the last year, some of our mutual friends moved in with him and I would visit them on the weekends. We would play Call of Duty on his PlayStation, we would cook pasta or Thai or just get fish and chips because we lost track of time. It was always easy.

He, his roommates and I spent the day doing the things we have always done. We hung out. Played Call of Duty, made stupid jokes. Went to a park for dinner where we barbequed burgers.

After I hugged him goodbye and waited for my bus, I stood there thinking how normal the day was. If it was not his last day in the country, it might have been any other Sunday.

It was so easy to just walk into his place, just drop by on the weekend without an iota of plan. And now, there will not be another weekend for a while like that.

I wondered if this how adult friendships feel like.

 

Birthday Blues


My birthday was in November. Yes, this post is extremely late.

When I was a child, I had the habit of counting the number of days to my birthday. I would literally start the day following my birthday and count the number of days till my next. I loved it. I received presents. Mom would cook lots of my favorite food. I would cut blow the candle and cut my cake as everyone started singing ‘Happy Birthday’.

As years went on, birthdays changed: it became the day of no consequence. I could literally sleep all day long and no one could say anything to me. I would not do any homework, would try to take a holiday so that I could avoid school. My excuse: it was my birthday.

On the opposite side of the spectrum is my dad. He would hardly celebrate his birthday. He would go to work and come back, always telling me that he can’t take a holiday because it was his birthday. I never understood that. He would say ‘Kya celebrate karna?’ ( What’s there to celebrate? ).

In the recent years, my birthdays changed. During my bachelor’s, my birthday would coincide with the hardest exam. My college mates would greet me quickly and go back to studying. I wanted to study just like them, my birthday wasn’t important enough.

Sometime during those years, I changed my Facebook’s privacy and permanently hid my birthday. I didn’t know why then, I know why now. I don’t want people who I have never spoken to in years, people who could hardly be called acquaintance message me on my birthday to wish me. I never liked Facebook’s insistent notifications reminding me of others’ birthdays. I always thought Facebook’s birthday calendar system was too robotic, devoid of any feelings or emotions.

I don’t remember what I did last year for my birthday. I was probably in bed because I was still sad over what had happened. This year, I went to work. I completed my hours, made a software release, not mentioning my birthday to my colleagues. I made the day as ordinary as possible.

I did that because it is an ordinary day. I was born 24 years ago on a November day was special. For me, it doesn’t make all the subsequent Novembers special anymore even though the young me thought otherwise.As I was walking home, I remembered my dad’s words: ‘Kya celebrate karna?’ ( Now what’s there to celebrate? ).

If I was a character in a show or book, I think I would call this change a character development.

 

2017 in Review


I expect things to always get worse. I have always greeted new year’s with trepidation because I expect life to get harder. 2017 was a year where I always expected the other foot to fall. But now as I look back on the year, surprisingly it was relaxing.

Sure, now that I recall, first quarter of the year was stressful because my visa kept getting delayed. I also moved twice in a month. But also, I was finally able to get a job in my sector. After which it was pretty much smooth sailing for me.

I went home to India after a year and a half, gave my family a present surprise at 3 am. Met most the friends that mattered.

I also saw snow for the very first time and also discovered that I am scared of cliffs. That fear didn’t stop me from going on more adventurous bushwalks though.

Jumped off waterfalls and was mesmerized by Glowworms in Raglan which I could say was the highlight of the year. Jeez, even thinking about it makes me wanna go back and I will probably do that again someday.

Lastly, I got one of my essays published in a book. An actual paperback all thanks to Zee! I spoke in front of people and told them about my piece. I couldn’t have wanted a better first piece and it made me take my writing seriously again.

And now we are here, at the end of 2017, a year which could have been a whole lot worse but wasn’t. So this post is not about how scary the next year will be ( of course it will be scary ), I am trying to sound grateful to 2017.

I sincerely hope that your next year is great! Happy New Year everyone!

About Glowworms


This last weekend I was in Raglan, a small cute little town along the west coast of New Zealand. I did a lot of things that I have never done before. I jumped off waterfalls, walked in a forest in the dark ( and made new friends? ). It was a great weekend. I had the privilege of seeing glowworms.

Yes, it was a privilege.

We were canyoning along a stream, stream’s name I never bothered to ask. I knew I was gonna see glowworms as that is what we went for. The glowworms just blew my mind.

glowworm-cave
I couldn’t find a suitable image glowworm canyoning, so glowworms in a cave it is. Credits: http://wallpapersdsc.net

I have to just close my eyes to see them again. The river was dark, the sky a shadow of light and the trees silhouettes against the faint sky. The trees’ branches swayed and leaves made rustling sounds as the wind flowed. The sound of water splashing against the rocks. Just behind some of the shrubs and weeds I would see a shining dot. Just a dot, no different that a star on a clear night.

A star that was a few inches away from me.

With focus, I saw more glowworms. It isn’t exactly apparent to know if what I was seeing were glowworms or a reflection of our head beams but soon I could see the difference in the colors. I grinning from ear to ear at the beauty around me. I would frequently tell everyone to shut off their head beams so I could look at the glowworms. I slowed them as I kept stopping to checkout the glowworms.

Of course I didn’t really need to slow down and turn off my head beam. I could also shine a red light that allowed me to see glowworms but I didn’t know that. Our guide, Anne,  told us about glowworms and how they actually shine lights. It is a long story and you could read about it here.

The story is not beautiful and in fact it is carnivorous. Regardless, the glowworms’ beauty didn’t diminish in my eyes. We were at the last leg of our trip, it was pitch black now and we had shut off our head beams completely. There was no light, the moon was hiding behind clouds promising rain. We were the only 5 people in the stream. But we weren’t really alone. We were sitting down on the rocks in the stream. Our guide poured us some cinnamon tea which we shared, the beverage being the only source of warmth around us; it made me aware of how tired and cold I was. Our guide said that the last part was like a scene out of Avator.

Avator had a scene out of our world.

There were eels and there were snails in the stream. These snails secreted a glowing chemical so the water also glowed in patches. And the glowworms, oh the glowworms were surrounding us, in their hundreds, nay, in their thousands all around us.

They were in scattered without any apparent pattern but their randomness gave birth to multitudes of connections. In those last 5 minutes of story time in the stream, with the thousands of glowworms, not only was I not alone but I could see that I was not alone.

 

House Concert


There is a bar near my house, Flight 605. I go there occassionally because they have host music gigs on Sunday. I have watched ( & heard? ) great Folk music there. Every single artisit had something unique in their gigs, Barrow Brass Band had songs 20min long, Sophie Mashlan played great guitar, Phil Edwards Band had lyrics with which I could completely relate to. One of the artists was Fables.

Last weekend, she hosted a house gig along with three other bands/artists: Albi from Albi and the Wolves, The Goth and the Pixie and Victoria Vigensar. Since I have never been to a house gig like that before, I was really looking forward to it. That Friday night turned out to be one of the best nights I have had.

 

The show was in the lounge and was full of people. I noticed a couple of other things too. I could guess that only artists lived there. The lounge had canvasses and paints in one side while the stage area was surrounded by amplifiers and instrument cases. The walls were adorned by posters of previous gigs they had attended; so many posters that I wondered what would happen if they ever go out for more: will they tear down those posters or will start on a new room? I never asked them that. The lights were dimmed and stage was brightened by three or four lights of different colors which obscured the artists faces.

I met a few people as I got in. I had only heard Fables perform before so everyone was new. I guess I had the impression that the artists wouldn’t be mingling around because when the performances started I was amused by the fact that I was just speaking to the person.

Albi & the Wolves’ Albi was the first to perform. He was great, he set the mood for the night. He was funny when he wasn’t performing and would stop to laugh whenever someone cracked a joke. He told us about the marketing trick of 3 plugin or endorsements during his gig and kept reminding other artists to do the same cracking the audience up. I sang along to his songs ( I don’t remember the lyrics anymore, just the feeling ) tapped my foot at the beats that he set. He was so excited about his performance that a couple of times that he bounced on the stool and afterwards when I was talking to him he said I should come watch the band perform with another jump. Performing to him is such an innocent joy that I couldn’t stop myself from smiling at him, glad that I spoke with him.

The Goth and The Pixie were dressed as named. He was goth and she was the pixie. When I sat down to watch Albi I thought of them as just another person in the audience and it was only after I saw Pixie take out her violin to play along (more on this later) I realized that they were gonna have a gig. The guy, or the Goth I should say was full of one-liners which made their gig more entertaining. They even had a small spoken word poetry embedded inside one of their songs. She told us about her time in a different city and she was suggested that she could write a song about some people and she did. Inspiration can come from anywhere.

I knew some of Fables’ songs. She is active Facebook and because of her I came to know about the house show. It was one of the few times that Facebook proved to be useful. She is a different person when she sings as compared to when she talks, not drastically different but just enough to think that two are different people. Her songs are great and as I was writing this I found a few videos of her performances. But between her songs she talks about stuff, everyday stuff that it’s like a conversation between two friends.

Victoria was the first person that I met that night and she was the second person to perform. She doesn’t hold her punches back in her songs, singing about the big issues. I remember two of her songs distinctly well: one was about Syrian refugees and baby Alan, the other was regarding homeless people. There is such emotion in her voice that carries the message through to the heart. During one of her songs, Pixie from Goth and Pixie started playing her violin with them and it was just so beautiful to watch them all perform.

There is no easy way to conclude this piece. I don’t even think that title does the gig justice but I couldn’t think of a better one. I should have written this piece about a week ago but I was busy and out of writing practice. There is no point to this post right now other than to talk about the fantastic people I met and saw. Maybe introduce some of you to good music.

How hard can it be? (New Plymouth-Paritutu Rock Edition)


(My weekend was not hard except this bit. Considering how much fun I had writing last week’s post, I wanted to continue this. I might write an entire post about my New Plymouth trip later)

‘Is it hard?’ someone in the van asked. A guy, let’s call him C had done it before with his partner L said ‘You need good upper body strength to do it. L did it!’

Well, if L was able to do it, I thought how hard can it be?

My fear of cliffs and shear drops was forgotten. See a while back, while walking along the coastal hills in Piha in West Auckland, I found that I am scared of heights. I can do it but I would rather not stand close to the edge and look down at the abrupt chasm. I can walk on any height as long as I don’t have to look down at a cliff.

Paritutu Rock is hardly 100 ms, located at the edge of New Plymouth over looking the ocean. Hikes take the stairs halfway and then reach the peak rock climbing. The climb isn’t vertical so you can use just your feet while getting to the top.

I went on all fours. And I made the mistake of looking down halfway through. I bit down a scream because I was at a cliff looking down at the embrace of harbor rocks. I swear they were arranged hands spread apart.

View Down, Credits: D

I knew coming down would be harder. For the residents of the city, the hike would/should be a weekly exercise. I saw a family descending with their 6 year old daughter while I was standing at the same edge with A. It was sobering moment, cause I was really tempted to go back down.

I was right about one thing: coming down was harder and scarier. If I slipped, I would tumble down on hard rocks all the way, if I don’t fall off a cliff. My left knee (I guess the ice skating issue) had to bother me while descending too. Great!

I took my time. I didn’t care that children were climbing a million times more gracefully than I was. I squatted to keep balance, used my hands for grips slowly covered ground (or rocks?). My eyes were wide open and I don’t think I was blinking them anymore. I told (pleaded?) others behind me, ‘Don’t rush me’.

The only solace descending was I could the carpark getting closer. I knew I wasn’t just going around in circles. I took more time than my group and they were waiting for me at the carpark.I reached the stairs but didn’t stop till I reached my group. K asked me ‘How’s it?’, my face must have shown my fears. I blew out some air while nodding and sat down, allowing my fear to take over.

‘How hard can it be?’ I thought and had a small laugh. I realized that my week could have been completely different, I could have been walking around snow clad Mt Taranaki. The cliff on Taranaki would have been so much scarier.

Of course, it was worth it. The view from the top of the rock was splendid-breathtaking-astonishing and my vocabulary can’t cover it. As I got the summit, to the left, I could see the New Plymouth arrayed systematically like legos. I could see Mt Taranaki in the distance beyond the city, staunch and inviting in its white attire. Clouds obscured the peak from time to time, testing the patience of the group’s photographers H and D. The view on the opposite side was even better.

New Plymouth, Credits: H

I was standing on the edge of the world. If I started sailing straight from there I might not encounter any land till Africa. Edge of the World with nothing but blue sky shading the ocean with a darker hue, the sky and ocean seemed to be going a long way and finally meeting at the horizons. I could hear seagulls, I could see the waves crashing on the shore.

Ocean, Credits: A

Now, if I do that again, I will not be afraid. I could do it when I was scared, I could do it again. In fact, I am looking forward to the next trip and I am hoping that someone invites me for the hike to Mt Taranaki soon.

After all, how hard can that be?

Weekend, Credits: D

How Hard can it be? (Ice Skating Edition)


If you are going to try something you have never tried before, a person is bound to tell you ‘How hard can it be?’. That person might think that they are encouraging. It is either that or they want to watch you fail so bad that they can send your fail video to FailArmy.  My advice to you: punch that person in the face.

How hard can it be? Extremely hard.

Now my advice backfires on me. I am usually the one who says ‘How hard can it be?’, mostly to encourage myself. Maybe I am overconfident too. Afterwards I regret it because my body hurts and if I could glare at myself, I would glare myself to smoldering bits.

Today, I decided that I wanted to go ice skating. I have never even roller skated so I should have been aware of my imminent regret. Instead, I thought how hard can it be. Plus, there was a free event for beginners and who isn’t ready for free stuff.

Boy, oh boy I was wrong.

Firstly, it feels different just standing in balancing with the entire sole of the feet and balancing on a metal skate. How was I standing? I wasn’t standing, my legs were dancing and my body’s momentum pulled me forwards. It was like I had new feet and I had skipped the tutorial on using them (I think I did that). My left ankle decided to shake disturbing my balance and I would flail my arms in the air trying to catch balance (it didn’t work). I would fall to the ground and then began the embarrassing process of standing up.

I fell four times throughout. First time I fell, I was trying to skate at the outer edge. A beginner behind me patiently waited as I tried to stand up again. Second time I fell was about half hour later, by then I was getting confident again because I wasn’t using the boundary for support.

‘I will never learn how to do this if I keep taking support of the wall’ were the exact words in my mind before I fell on my ass. I fell again a few minutes later and after the last time I was done.

Every time I fell, I told myself I can do it. The problem was I didn’t know what I was doing. After the last time, my legs were sore and I had no energy left in me to try again.I was miserable, cold and my ankles hurt. I slipped a lot of time and every time I did, I noticed a pain in my left knee. I think I was bending my knee along the wrong axis and at last I realized that if I kept doing this I might hurt myself.

And I wanna continue doing stupid things so I don’t wanna hurt myself. Nope!

Others around me kept giving me advice. ‘Bend your knees’, ‘right leg forward, angle it and then left leg forward’, ‘1-2-1-2-1’ and so on. I just couldn’t do it properly. I never went beyond the first 1-2 sequence because I would loose my balance there.

There is a positive side to this though. Firstly, and this should be obvious to the dumb, I wouldn’t have tried if I had thought this is going to be really hard. I would probably prepared myself a little if I had thought that way, but the technology isn’t advanced enough for me to Google skating simulation.

Next,  do you know the sensation you get after swimming? You are walking on land but still feel like you floating in the water. Nothing has ever come close to that feeling. Today after I was done and walked to my bus stop I felt like I was on ice again. I felt I was gonna slip and fall on my ass again. I loved that sensation.

Third, I thought back and realized how many things have I tried by thinking ‘How hard can it be?’ and I failed miserably. I am not ashamed of the fact that I failed, I find it funny though. I am going tramping next weekend I told my roommate, ‘how hard can it be’ today. Yay!

Lastly, I got an idea to write this post. I know ~4 people read this blog, one of whom is my mother (Hi Mom!!!) so yeah! I think I am back.

The Longing


14973649442471501014995
I was about 8 years old then and till date it is one of the best family photos. My dad is holding me up

When I was a kid, my father used to work in Kolhapur 8 hour train ride away. He used to come once every month and usually on a Friday as it was the day when he had off. Before my birthday, on 8th November we didn’t receive any phone call from him. I think I was worried as he would call everyday at a fixed time. My mom wasn’t worried and that should have given me the hint. Next day on my birthday my dad surprised me by coming home in the middle of the week. The memory is still blurry but I remember getting really happy and my dad’s belly laugh.

I am doing the same thing now.


My manager/company CEO Warren told me a month ago about the company Christmas break. Other than the 5 public holidays, the company doesn’t shell out a 3 week break like every other company. The first thing that came to my mind was I can go home now.

I acted on the impulse without thinking much and within two hours I had booked my flights. I rapidlyy fire messages to all my friends in India telling I am coming home. I was two seconds shy of posting it on Facebook as I realized that my parents would see it. My trip is a surprise for them, it is exactly as I have always pictured my first trip home would be.

I would ring the bell in the morning and my mom would gasp when I say hi. My dad would probably be eating his breakfast and ready for work. My brother would be too sleepy to bother but I know he would be really happy as well. My dog, Jimmy would be the one who is visibly the happiest.

I won’t be landing in the morning but I still expect a similar reaction. If anyone ever tells you a month is not long then introduce them to me.


More than a year ago, prior to me getting an admitted to AUT or getting a visa, I was having dinner with my dad and brother. We were talking about my future and how I was innocently saying that doing Masters’ would be easy or something like that. He was always reluctant with the idea and I always thought it was because of the money involved. He admitted his reason that night.

He said that he was worried that I will leave them and eventually forget about them. I blame Baghban movie for that kind of thinking. His statement was the equivalent of a sucker punch to my gut. Suffice to say that night was a very emotional night for us. My brother wasn’t much emotional though, he was laughing about it eventually.

I did my best over the last 15 months to not forget about them. His sentence would always be in my head.


“How long have you been here for?” a friend asked me.

“15 months”  I replied. I didn’t like rounding off the number or saying more than a year.

“That’s not very long”

“It feels longer”


I have never lived without my family. As a kid, my parents used to scare me that if I didn’t behave they would send me off to boarding school. I think every parent used that line to, sigh, get their children in line.

If I had I would have some experience with living with myself. I would have some taste of the freedom. I would have known how to cook better and how to deal with my finances better.

Today, I don’t have to answer to anyone about where I am going or when I will be back. I can come back at 6pm after work or I can come back at 2am after a party. I could eat whatever I want and I can even sleep hungry. I can keep a stack of clothes on my rooms’ chair instead of hanging them on hooks.

This freedom brings along with itself loneliness. Regardless of when I come home, my room will be quiet. There will not be my angry sulking dad or my chattering mom. There is no dog wagging his tail at the door for me.

I am by no means saying one life is better than the other. Neither am I saying I wanna go back forever. I could enjoy my life as much as I want here and at the same time miss the life that I had back in India.

I can be happy with my life in Auckland and still long for my life back.

For the next three weeks I intend to enjoy my home, my mom’s cooked food. I intend to enjoy meeting old friends and share a laugh or two. I missed them all.

Religions in education?


‘If I don’t pray before the cross I get punished’ my friend explained how his school in Delhi worked. He was in an Catholic school about 10 years ago.

The last time I stepped inside a school was when my mom was working in a school and I had to pick up the house keys. For now, I am no longer living in India but that can change.

The thing that astonished me the most was I never even thought about the way education system in India is so ingrained with religions. It was so normal for me that I never had this kind of conversation with anyone back in India.

My school in India started with morning (Hindu) prayer and national anthem, lectures and classes, closing (Hindu) prayer and then disburse. If you are one of the majority student in the school, this will seem completely normal to you as well.

It was normal to not talk about religions in school, common to not have an opinion in school. Nobody liked the prayers but we did it anyway because we were told to.

We never asked which religion’s prayer are we singing and why?

I never asked that question back in school, college and in university. It was normal to pray in my school. Singing the national anthem is not religious and patriotic so I never had any problem with it.

I think (I am not completely sure) I am Hindu. It makes sense for me back then and now today to pray a Hindu prayer. I can do a Christian prayer too and for me, both of them spell out the same message.

It wouldn’t make sense for a Christian or a Muslim child to pray an Hindu prayer. India is a dense multireligous jungle of a country and if I may paraphrase my friend’s description ‘India had every possible religion’.

Each religion will have its own prayers, traditions and customs. Each of the religious customs have always been seeped into the culture of the practitioners.

If the child of such a culture goes to study in a school of a completely different culture, the result of such a conflict would be severe.

For example, my friend. He is an atheist, for him praying is nonsensical. I can imagine him in a catholic school trying to resist praying sessions, Bible reading sessions and during Carols.

Reflecting back on my school days, I don’t remember having many Christian or Muslim classmates. Almost everyone was Hindu and a majority of us couldn’t be bothered praying unless exams were due.

No one, in my memory asked about why only Hindu prayers and none other. My friend’s school insisted on enforcing Christianity on its pupils.

For me and him, in our 20s, thinking back on it is pretty easy. He says that schools should NOT have any religious influence. He does have a point: teach physics and civil rights at school. Leave the religions at homes and temples, mosques and churches.

Democracy is not about enforcement of religion. It is certainly not what the Indian pledge says : “India is a secular country”

The question now is: What can be done? And more importantly, how many parents, grandparents think about religion when securing admissions?

Because I remember my school friends. We did not care about prayers. We may have cared if we had a choice on prayer.

GIMP Edited

I figured out time at the end of 2016


Or at least I think so. One of the good things in 2016.

I reached the realization a while ago but only recently while reading one of the Discover posts, I was able to put my thoughts into words. As soon as I hit ‘Post Comment’ I knew I had an explanation to my obsession to time (close second to death).

I measure time by the clarity of the memories I make.

If I am able to recall a memory then it has happened recently. I am sure I am not the only one. It might be the reason when reminiscing everyone say ‘It seems like yesterday’.

There are no memories created yesterday, only ones that exist are from far back in time.


 

Currently, after graduation I am a job seeker (not jobless: I have to remind myself that). I have surplus time in my hands, full 24 hours to be exact. I am surprised by my inability to sleep more than 8 hours these days. Ironically, I am certain that when I have work I will sleep more than my quota.

GIMP Edited
The two versions of the photos

The abundant time I have I try to spend it wisely: by learning new skills. I finally learned how to use GIMP (an Open Source Photoshop alternative). It is pretty good. I click photos from my mobile and sometimes I am surprised with the quality of images my phone produces. Another thing I am learning (or revising) is programming.

If I may explain time in programming terms then:

  1. You have a great day. Your brain auto-saves that memory inside a database (one of the grooves of your cerebrum)
  2. When you have a normal day, your brain deletes the memories to the recycle bin. You can restore some fragments of the day but not everything. It is similar to the cache your browser saves.
  3. When you sit and reminiscence, you recall the auto-saved memory and not the memories in the recycle bin.
  4. Most of the days go to the recycle bin; they are fraught with meaningless junk which holds no emotional value.
  5. When recalling memories, the cerebrum references the current mood with memories and recall the first ones matched.

The same thing happens with programming and database. The program I was wrote returned only the first matched data unless specifically told to return everything. I don’t know how to tell my brain to return all matched memories, it returns those ones which are matched first.


 

I heard a couple of people speaking about their year in review (not Facebook year in review). I am sure that most people will start writing their posts like me about their year. I don’t want to go back on my year, it had its ups and downs. I do recall two distinct things precisely.

Firstly, I can recall the feeling while writing my last year’s New Year’s post. I just knew that my 2016 was going to be harder. It was (or so my database tells me). I can’t compare it with any other year because when in my 23 years of life have I lived in a new country without the ones I can physically rely on.

Secondly, I can recall my 31st night. I had lied (sort of) to my boss and sneaked to a camp. I was amongst friends that night when the clock hit 00:00. I can’t recall the 31st the year before that or any other 31st before that except the ones when I was very small.

My mom would make a special kind of rice which had three or four colors: red from beetroot, yellow from turmeric & white. I don’t remember any more colors. I remember lots of chips and some bottles of soft drinks and my dad watching one of the thousand New Year specials. I don’t know what my brother did but I am sure he was there somewhere.

The memory is hazy. It was a long time ago.

My last year’s 31st is not hazy, like it was yesterday.


 

I don’t know what the new year will hold for me. I am afraid of saying it will get harder as I (stupidly) think that’s what happened with my 2016. I am aware I was privileged with what happened in my year, the global year can be called horrendous. No one wants to live this year again and we are all eager to brush off the year under the year as if it never happened. (There are so many meme’s of the sort).

What will 2017 hold for me? For us?

I can’t speak for others. I don’t want to say I want to make a memories, my wants have nothing to do with what gets saved in my database. Basically, I don’t know what I want from 2017.

I will just see what life throws at me and I will keep putting one foot in front of another. Somewhere I will create some moments which will forever seem like yesterday.

PS: Happy New Year Folks!

(Inspiration for the post: On Not Writing Christmas cards, In Praise of Nowstalgia: The Sadness in Happiness,  Slowing Down the Perception of Time )

 

I wish I had a dragon


To Anyone who says Disney movies are for kids,

You are wrong. They are not solely for kids. I have always enjoyed them, although I am one of the adults who love to watch great visuals on a screen. Disney or any animated movie for the matter have more than great visuals going for them, prominently great stories.

They touch on topics which are beyond the scope of comprehension of most kids. Recent movies touched on issues of racism and stereotype. Kids may not have heard of these terms. But we have, and maybe we need to reminded of the things we knew of when we were kids.

Kids don’t need movies which inspire them, we adults need inspiration and motivations. After all, it is pretty difficult to wake up and motivate yourself to get up from bed.  Getting up from bed is a relatively small problem in the grand scheme of things and there are more than one problems awaiting everyday. We need motivation, we need to be taught the important principles lest we forget them in the monotony.

The fact that most of the new animated movies target our childhood and sense of nostalgia is another factor into watching them.

Why else would Finding Dory would be a great hit, or why am I so patiently waiting for The Incredibles 2? I watched the originals when I was a kid and I loved the myriad colors on the screen. How could I understand the emotional depth these films touched.


 

If I watch a Disney movie, I take a trip to Sentiment City. They are so warm and fuzzy; packed with just the right amount of emotional ingredients like laughter, joy and innocence. Of course when I watch them I know they are going to have a happy ending.

Growing up to an adult makes you realize that they are just movies and they are marketed towards children. No child, no money and no profits. No child will love the movie if the main character dies. Disney movies usually have an protagonist which behaves like a dog, so if they kill their protagonist at the climax I will riot.


 

Recently I was watching Pete’s Dragon. I needed a ‘feel-good’ movie because of the day I was having. I knew the usual mind numbing apathetic shows I usually watch would not work. I have not watched the original movie but I trusted Disney to making a great movie.

The movie is stunning visually, with absolute jewels of child characters and a huge dragon which acts like a puppy with wings. I am a dog person and if there is anything more special than dogs it might be dogs with wings.

Or maybe a dragon because I grew up with stories of dragons.

In usual Disney movies, there is the start phase, intermediate stage and climax where everything falls into a new order. The start phase is usually marred by a tragedy and there is a lot of buried up pain in the middle. The climax makes the protagonist and in turn the viewers deal with the buried up pain. Most people would never want the middle phase.

There is also happiness in the middle phase. It is usually after the dog resembling character is introduced, when the protagonist realizes there is more the animated character than meets the eye. It is in the brilliant middle phase where the transition of the protagonist begins. There is a lot of laughter.

In this phase, the protagonist is happy but not as happy as he would eventually be. The movie is able to transmit that happiness from the protagonist’s face across to the viewers’ hearts.

So I watched Pete’s Dragon with a huge grin on my face as Pete and Elliot played around the jungle. Elliot was different than almost every dragon portrayed in the movies, he was kind and loyal. He changed colors when touched, he keeps his powers of destruction inside him and keeps away from people. How did they manage to have an animated character depict sorrow and longing is beyond me but Elliot clearly was sad when he looked at the North Star.

Pete belonged in the jungle with Elliot. He stayed away from people, lived well off on his own and was happy. He stayed true to his childish nature and his curiosity got the better of him at times. How could I forget the fact that Pete scared off a bear? That was funny.

Pete and Elliot had 6 great years together! They were content, wild and carefree. In stark contrast, who amongst us adults can say they had a good week?

Mostly I don’t even have good days, I have good moments with which I try to keep myself content. Moments I cherish. I drew parallels between the movie and my life as I watched.I am grateful for not having personal tragedy as Pete but then he has a Dragon! He could walk around carefree, not worried about what to wear, who to speak and what to say.

It did not matter to me that the adults in the movie seemed out of place. After all, I can willingly accept a kid trusting a dragon but I will probably never accept a full grown adult trusting a dragon. I expect the adult to try to tame the dragon. Exactly like the antagonist did.

I know WHO people are. I may be one of them.

As I watched the movie, I cringed in anticipation of the scene where Pete and Elliot get separated. I was not looking forward to see Elliot captured or any other emotional scene. My imagination raced ahead of me showing all the bad things that could happen to Pete and Elliot.

Thank goodness that the writers don’t have my imagination.

Thank goodness that Pete was still a kid in the movie. Someone who had no pride, someone who could laugh easy and was unencumbered. Thank goodness for the actor who played Pete cause he was able to be the perfect kid, an embodiment of everything childhood was supposed to be.

Innocence. Something I miss, the wide eyed perspective of the world.

It is kind of pointless to be talking about the things lost in a movie which tells you to be brave and move forward. A movie which embraces change in life. The message of the movie was not lost on me. I am not Pete though, I cannot accept change as easily as he did.

So I wish I had a dragon.

End Panic


(PS: I use my blog less frequently than I used to. Now, it is more a therapeutic measure than a sharing platform. I write on the days when I am sad, today I am sad about a small thing that I couldn’t do anymore. A post is due about my events in AUT and I will get it all out. Finally, I do apologize for my recent depressing posts, I can’t help the words that stumble out. I can only say after writing, I feel better.)

It is almost the end of the semester. I finish my last submission, the biggest of them all on 4th of November, 4 days before my 23rd birthday. Now when I am so close to the finish line, I am experiencing what I call as ‘end panic’.

I remember the last six months of my college a year and a half ago in India. I realized that I have a bunch of things I have never done and I decided to try to cross them out. This included going for the college festival, which I refused to go every year, parties and having one last important post about my college, to list a few.

Some of the plans went well: having never been to the college festivals worked well in my favor as I had no expectations and I thoroughly enjoyed. My friends didn’t enjoy cause they compared the previous year’s festivals and were disappointed.

Other plans did not go so well, especially the parties or rather The party. I never spoke about it here cause it involved others from my class and I don’t want to take names. I changed after those events.

Now, I am in Auckland and I am less than 2 weeks away from completing my term. I have my own set of worries about what will I do after I complete my term; neither do I have a summer job nor do I have plans. The only thing I do have fixed is attending a wedding of someone who is like family to me now in December. If the uncertainty is not enough to generate panic then it is looming 4th November.

Now, unlike my college in India I have done a lot of things in AUT. I am surprised about it myself and considering how crazy I actually I am, I will do more things in the coming two weeks. But that doesn’t stop the urges to do more. There is a difference between the end panic of my college days and the end panic of my university days. It is the activities or events I am used to doing; they will be hard to say goodbye to and not the people. In college, it was the people who I cherished and now…

Here is the thing: every small thing that I thing I cannot do anymore disappoints me. Literally SMALL. It doesn’t cripple me but I do need a minute. And my bucket list, so to say, is not so very different from my bucket list in my final semester from my college. College fests, parties, farewell dinners, photographs and the whole nine yards.

Currently, aside from my thesis, it an award which I want to cross off the bucket list. I failed to participate for any awards in my college and I regret that. Now I am so close being awarded in university that I WANT it. There is no easy way to put it for now, only that getting the award will be more striving than previously thought.

With the end panic in full force barging on me, I have to set my impulsive decisions on test and make sure whatever I do, I do them for the correct reasons

Note: I can’t believe I have written 200 posts on my blog. 

Who is this guy?


7 months. Without family, with only an hour long conversations with people who I utterly love. And now, this morning I realized I no longer can recognize myself.

Mumbai would be a place of comfort. Where I would say ‘no’ more than I draw breath. No to cooking, no to cleaning, no to socializing, you get the gist.

Why am I writing about it?

Because it is one of those days where there is too much to do. It is this day that I have to go for a job fair, have a date, try my hand at a coding competition and all of this on top of my usual university project and thesis writing. Others, my mom including say that I am chewing more than I can swallow.

I don’t agree with them. I just say ‘Yes’ more now.

Practically everyday I come home, I make sure that I cook my own dinner. I never did that when I was with family, I would always bring something from a restaurant. Now, I love cooking so much that whenever I try something new and it works, I tell mom with excitement. I make sure that my stuff is clean, at university and home.

However not everything is roses. In college, I would have to walk for five minutes before I would run into a friend. I remember a friend complaining to me I know a lot of people. Now, most of my days are spent bent in front of my laptop, learning codes or watching some important tutorial. Friends? I have already given up. I have spent so much of my time in a church where everyone seems friendly and I would rather stand outside than talk to anyone.

I always thought that making friends in a new country would be the easiest thing I would ever have to do and house chores would suck. In the last 7 min, I enjoy chores more than meeting a new face.

I have always ran on ‘Indian time’, a special scale in which it is practically normal to be half hour late. Now, after a colossal mistake, I am always early. I don’t even have an alarm in my phone anymore, I know I will be up exactly 8 hours from when I sleep.

There are not enough words to articulate the discord between me from 7 months ago and me a minute ago. One is full of naivety and other is practical. One is disorganized, other is organized to the minute. One feels lonely, other is lonely.

I never lived in denial back there, now on the end of bad days I sit in my bed watching a comfort show which does nothing more than numb and dumb my brain down. And I am aware of what I am doing. I know this though, regardless of the rejections, bad days and good minutes: I would never regret this life changing move.

So someday, I look at myself in the mirror and ask ‘Who is that guy?’

Weekend Coffee Share: Week’s helper


I missed last weekend’s coffee share as I was doing something. I don’t remember what. The week started early, some 5 am when one of my friend called me to talk to me. Something was wrong I knew immediately and we Skyped so early in the morning. Something had came up and she was scared. I did what I do best: make the lamest jokes possible to alleviate her worries. I wish that was the only time it happened in the entire week but another friend also had some issues and messaged me. Did the same thing but I was only thinking: only last entire week I was in a bad place and now are some of my friends. What is happening?

If we do have coffee, I would break the news: my application for continuing my master’s is approved. I can now work on my Masters project which is exactly what I wanted to do. I am so happy and finally a little relaxed. I knew who all helped me, kept touch with me when I needed it. Thank you.

In other news, I love Pokemon Go. The weekend me and my friends walked around the harbour catching pokemon rather than go out to a pub to relax and kill them. I kept thinking: this has got to be the only time I enjoyed my phone more than my friends company. If we do have coffee and you have the game then we will probably stop talking and go catch them all. It is not just me who is addicted but the entire Auckland is catching only pokemon these days. Can’t really blame anyone for it is amazing.

One of the best things I now realize I did was encourage one of my friends to apply for his Masters. His grades were similar to mine and he had given up before applying.

I guess that is all for the week. It is your turn to speak up and say how was your week?

Weekend Coffee Share: New House


If we were having coffee, I would tell you that I moved to a new house past Sunday. It’s not as luxurious as my previous house but then again I knew it was coming. I spent the week here, making friends with the roommates and slowly our bond seems to be getting stronger, unlike my previous roommates.

Also, while sipping coffee, I would complain about my cycle. Start of the week it had a puncture and now there is another problem with the rear gear derailleur. No wonder people give advises to buy a good cycle and not a cheap one. Well, I still have to get a quote on the derailleur problem.

However I love cycling around here. There is a direct separate cycling way to my university, an easy way to the church and both sides it is fun to cycle. Yeah it is also tiring but then again I am having fun. I would have more fun if my cycle stops breaking down so much.

I would tell you that I started working on my Master’s project even before my grades were out. This is especially risky as I didn’t know at that time what is going to happen with my degree anymore. Regardless, even though I worked for a couple of days, I was happy. Finally!

Speaking of grades: they are also out. Unfortunately, I don’t know if I clear them to qualify for my Master’s or not yet. As my grades are bordering between B and C, I don’t know what to infer. When I read the grades all I could do was laugh: even now I feel like Life’s playing with me.

If we do have coffee, I would tell you the highlight of the entire week has been the spoken word event that I attended and wrote about it. I would tell you that I’m desperately waiting for the next such event as I loved it. Considering the response that they got, I hope that they don’t charge it from the next time.

Lastly, I would turn the mike over to you and await to hear from you: how has your week been?

Maybe I should pay more attention


Racism. Something which I would hardly think of when I am dealing with people. So whenever people would ask me “Where are you from?” I would reply where am I from and just leave it at that. I hardly pay any heed to the subtle hints of racism because I do not have time for it. However after listening to at least 6 people speak about the same issue I realize that maybe I should be paying more attention.

After seeing an event on Facebook about a spoken word/poetry event, I decided to go for it. I like writing, I like poetry and I am a fan of spoken poetry. I knew the topic is not a simple one and from what I heard from the speakers I realized how unaware am I about the extent.

The bar couldn’t have been shadier. Honestly, they took underground groups too literally and they had more than 100 people gathered in such a small place. The next door rock band overpowered the speakers completely and I couldn’t make out more than a syllable or two in the first half of the event. However the next half, I sat up front and listened. I was so into it that I forgot to click photos, forgot almost everything and just absorbed.

I heard a girl try to explain and fail, try again and still get all messed up in explaining where she is from: Chinese or Kiwi. I heard a guy talk about what it was like being White after being born in a Maori family. Heard an open letter, not to White people, but to Koreans. Heard two poems from an Australian Maori girl.

Maybe I am missing some of the poems. Even more likely I am actually not doing justice to what I heard. Because I simply cannot; I am not perceptible enough of the surroundings, I don’t think along the lines as the speakers can think. Because their words moved, their experiences made me recall all the months and think: was that racism?

While I may not know which end of the spectrum I exist on, I am surely one of those ‘unawares’ the speakers spoke of. And from what I heard, I cannot help but applaud the speakers and their courage. And learn and absorb whatever I can, from their experiences, from their words and their strengths.

Weekend Coffee Share: The week that wasn’t


I had everything planned. Give my exams, Monday and Tuesday. Finish up my presentation for Wednesday and then go for a Jazz session in a bar in Auckland CBD. I would have finished up with everything with a smile on my face.

 

If we were having coffee then I would have told you that it didn’t go that way. In fact, it might be the worst week I have had here. I gave my exams, tensed and when I was done instead of a smile on my face I had a frown. Then I realized that I have misread the event on Facebook and the jazz session is actually this Tuesday and not last. It would be here from which everything went downhill.

 

I would tell you over coffee that on Wednesday I was late for my presentation. My bus was late, which always reaches on time that didn’t. And I’m regret of my mistake of not taking the previous bus every second. My sir canceled my presentation. No matter how much I begged, pleaded nothing came from it. 10 minutes and I loose 20% grades. As much as I want to hate him, I can’t. I screwed up.

 

I would tell you that the crazy part of my mind was laughing over the futility of it all: work hard over entire semester and screw up in ten minutes. It was laughing, I was laughing as I found out how easy it was to screw up this big.

 

I’m mortified: if I don’t score B grade over the semester then I would not be able to complete my Master’s. I had to worry about my house first, now my degree. I wish this was all for my week.

 

Friday. I had secured a last assistant job at the university for next semester. My professor told me that due to being inundated with applicants, I would no longer be hired.

 

I tried to distract myself. I volunteered in the church I’m a part of since Easter but all I thought about was my screw up. Everyone was talking about exams and all I did was mull over my scores. Sadly the distraction that did work was killing random robots while playing Call of Duty. I didn’t try to ask myself why am I this way.

 

Speaking of the church, today every sentence uttered in the service, every scripture referred seemed directed at me. The Pastors spoke about worrying, tension, forgiveness. Everything that I could think in my mind was addressed in the service. As I left, one of the Pastors walked me out. He knew something was wrong and at the end he prayed for me. I still feel his presence on my back where he kept his hand.

 

Plus, today they had a jazz choir. If we do have coffee, I would apologize for dropping such bombs on you. I would apologize as I wanted to talk but all I did was whine.

If we are having coffee: Some Reminders


If we are having coffee(or tea), I would tell you that something happened that made me want to take writing seriously again.

If we do have coffee, I would also tell you that this is my first #weekendcoffeeshare post. I always loved this idea, I tried it in real life too, however I failed to keep up with half of it. I don’t know if I will be able to do this for long either.

It has been rough couple of days. No actually, it has been a rough couple of months. There was no particular reason, there were many of them. So while studying and speaking to a dear friend of mine something unlocked.

I told her to grow up, I told her to have patience and learn how to deal with things happening because of the wishes she is taking. I told her to take care of her loved ones first before she breaks down. And the reason is not so noble: I told her that she can’t take care of her loved ones when she is the one who needs help.

I don’t remember where I read this. I must have because I picked it up, adopted it without breaking a sweat and now I realize that I have been doing this for so long it is who I am. So I opened up ‘Pocket’ to try find where I read it, it is my treasure of the posts I have loved ever since I started blogging.

I forgot what it was like to feel through reading words. I read one and then I read many. I read this post, one which beautifully described the experience of having a dog: it made me laugh and sad, it made me miss my dog.

Then this post, one where she spoke about her familiarity with funerals and death of David Bowie and I felt her pain.

I wept, I laughed, I ached and I smiled amidst tears. Then I wept even more when I read this post, something that I always do when I read this, one where a other speaks about her dying daughter, I never found out what happened afterwards, I don’t have the courage to. I laughed at this guy’s take on Indian culture, on this blogger’s collection of Cat quotes, this post about depression, this post about childhood & identity, on this absolutely beautiful tale about Guitar and music. No wonder I tried to pick up a guitar afterwards and I am still trying.

If we are having coffee, then I think I must have mentioned all of this before too. I don’t care, I cherish the reminders. I just know that in the space and time I forgot how or what blogging was. I struggled with closing this blog, tried and somehow still struggling.

I am looking for a new place, or found it, giving exams and so much more. I didn’t sleep two days in a row, studied and realized that I still have a long way to go in studies. This week reflected on mostly my studies.

If we were to have coffee(virtually again) I would love that. I know it is not the way #weekendcoffeeshare posts are written but this is my take on it.

Luck’s running out


Random person: “Wow that is awesome”

Me: “Yeah, I got lucky.”

That’s how I always described it. Lucky. Not hard work or dedication; I was just at the right place at the right time. Many would say that I jinxed it myself, I just knew it was coming sooner or later.

The previous housekeeper left and I took up housekeeping. I wanted to save money and the job was the only way. No rent, work against stay arrangement. I admit, I was not an excellent housekeeper but I tried.

Last week I got to know, a mere week before my semester exams, I need to vacate the house by the end of June. I like my house. It was not perfect when I moved in, it is not perfect still. I have seen better houses, been around in better localities in Auckland but I liked the people that lived here. Somehow it suited me to know people for a couple of days, make friends and then never speak to them ever again. In my own twisted way, it suited me to be aloof. I had privacy in a shared room, I joined communities and I bought a bicycle here. It seems like yesterday that I moved in here. I planned to finish my studies in this house. Aside from the monetary reasons, the best thing about the house was its quick access to the coast. So I cycled down the coast to experience it again. If I didn’t have monetary reasons to stay in this place, I would have still tried to live here.

 

wp-1464754652186.jpeg
The pakuranga walkway, that is my bicycle

 

Now, I am worried, stressed and mildly freaking out. I know how difficult it was the last time I tried to look for houses in Auckland. Now I have to do it again along with getting my studies done and earning more money so that I can afford a house. When I got to know, I knew that my good fortune will not shine, however I also knew there wouldn’t be total darkness. That things are going to get tougher, and I may still make a lot of mistakes in the coming days. But I can’t just sit here and do nothing.

Now, when I am almost done with househunting (or room hunting), and the experience was not as bad as it was the last time. I knew what I wanted, the location I wanted and the cost. I knew my parameters, my limits. It was not as bad as it was the last time. Obviously, I didn’t expect something perfect, or a house with pets, what I am getting is perfect for the time being.

And even if things do get worse, I do have the feeling that I can figure it out. Eventually.

Sometimes I Surprise Myself


I have been cooking in a new country for a month now. Sadly, only once my cooking has produced something that I couldn’t get enough of.

I do not cook bad all the time. I don’t cook amazing either. The very first time I cooked lamb chops, I followed a recipe. The result was so good, that I wanted to cry in joy at the taste.  ‘I made this’ I thought amazed. And I have been trying to reproduce the results ever since.

image

But aside from the served dish, there are a couple of cooking things that I have mastered.

I heat up oil in the pan and add mustard seeds. The seeds pop and emit a great fragrance. I can add oil-blackened seeds to rice, lentils or anything else I have made. The aroma of the fried seeds, called tadka in India, is so good that everyone say ‘smells good’. I smile and try to tell them I didn’t do nothin’.

I don’t like large chunks of vegetables. Actually, I don’t like vegetables in general but I understand their importance in my food. So I spend time meticulously cutting onions, potatoes, carrots. As finely as I could. My previous housekeeper asked me how do I find so much time, I should just cook them in whatever shape they are. I didn’t tell her the answer but I don’t like that way, I like the way these small vegetables taste. The surprising thing: the chopped onions are now almost perfectly diced.And then I caramelise them so they are almost burnt. I could eat that with everything.

I have made mistakes. Twice, I cut my fingers with chef’s knife, once cutting onions and yesterday while cutting potatoes. After I bandaged my finger yesterday, my eyebrows were raised. ‘Wow, that was bloody efficient of you’ I praise myself (no pun intended) but I’m the clumsiest person I have ever had the pleasure of meeting.

Roommates cook, sometimes I watch them. That’s how I learned how to cook pasta, embarrassingly. I praise them when their food looks or smell fabulous. Sometimes they offer their good food to taste, sometimes they don’t. I always offer food to taste. Food is always better when shared.

When I got here, I was prepared to eat anything I could cook. I was wrong, I want to eat food that does not makes me nauseous. If that means that I have to spend more time in prep so be it. I spend more than an hour cooking. I don’t regret it, I have found that cooking is actually fun.

I never expected myself to say that.

PS: I just completed 2 years on my blog.

Transit Friends


That is what I call them.

When I moved to Auckland, I had a plan. Live temporarily in this place while I look for a good apartment near my university. Call it my incompetence to get a good apartment near to my university, or the fact that I loved my area so much that I never moved.

I was supposed to get a good place, but I didn’t want to leave a better place either.

The people I met here are a special highlight. Not all of them are great, many like me are introverted. When the conversations start though, they were a unique experience.

They are all travellers. None of them are talking about the money they have, or the wild experiences they had. It’s simple, none are trying to impress anyone.

When I moved in, there were a couple of people living here already. These travellers are way past their studying years and now are making a living on the go. They travel, earn money and then travel some more. The cycle is repeated till I don’t know when, I never asked. They had fascinating tales, even better passports which could very well be out of a travelogue or self help book.

In my first week I met 4 Brits who were staying over for a weekend. Real cool guys, and as luck would have it we shared a room. There was another guy in the same room and he snored. I was jetlagged and couldn’t sleep. The 4 Brits couldn’t sleep because of the snores. We all stayed awake that night talking to one another about how to shut the snoring up, what other ways a corn can be used and my personal favourite was a tale of a lodge they slept one  night and swore never to return to such a place again. I can’t remember laughing like that in a long time.

As it was my first week here, I missed my home food and had bought Indian (expensive) food in desperation. I had no hesitation to share the food.

I met a Japanese girl here. Unlike the other travellers that I keep encountering she had no clue what she was doing, what she wanted to eat and what she wanted to buy. She hung around with me for a couple of days. I am sure she would be cursing me for making her walk from one place to the other simply because I didn’t want to use the more expensive bus. She was fun in her different way. Of all the people that I met here, she is the only one who I befriended on Facebook. And now I don’t text her either.

A very generous bunch of travellers gave me their guitar. We spoke the night they arrived, tired and cranky. Crazy dudes, a quiet girlfriend of one of the guys. Possibly the friendliest bunch ever, I would love to travel with such a group. I closed up all my work as I listened to them talking about Bali, India, Australia. Where to get cheap flights from, where to party hardest and where they found peace: they knew it all. For a first time traveller like me, I can only stare in fascination at their passports with multiple immigration stamps and visas. I was spellbound. The couple were engaged but he wanted his fiancée to travel the world like he did, on her own. He said ‘I want her to experience the things I did. I don’t want her to regret it.’ He didn’t have to tell me that but he did.

They moved to the city a day later, I lost their numbers. I also knew I would never contact them. I am weird that way.

There was a couple from Poland I remember. The guy had an awesome collection of folk music that I forgot to take. They told me where to buy good white wraps from which I substitute as rotis. They told me they were interrogated at the airport when they arrived at Auckland only because they were from Poland. The girl never spoke a word.

In the last month’s Lantern festival, I went alone on the first day and on the last day I oversold the festival and took two Germans and the Japanese girl along. I just didn’t want to go alone I guess. Like everyone else the Germans were travellers too. I kept asking questions about the places they have been to, things they have done.

Not every person is great though. Sometimes I wanted to run out of the room because a roommate looked scary. I maintained my cool. A chinese family snored like tractors in the night and I slept on the couch. I didn’t complain to them when they asked me why did I sleep on the couch. The couch is also very comfortable for me.

A Czech republic girl played the most soothing version of Tears of Heaven in the night. I slept like a baby listening to that tune. A guy never stopped drinking beer.

Days turned to weeks and now it has been a month. I can’t count the number of people I have met. I don’t want to because I would have a number of people that have left the house since I moved in.

I read about this on his blog ‘Into The Mild’ but until now I never realized what he really meant. The worst part about meeting so many people is that they leave. I know the probability of ever meeting them again is extremely slim. Unless I stay at the same place and hope that the Belgian guys decide to come here again or the Japanese girl wants to travel Auckland again.

A house like this is perfect for me: I will not be depended upon anyone. I wanted that, needed it. I don’t want to be at the mercy of other people’s kindness ever again.

But that doesn’t mean that I don’t wish some of these great, funny people I met would live at the home for a little longer. For I can get out of my natural inhibitions and ask for their numbers and contact. And maybe speak to them again.

For now, I can see almost everyone I knew leaving the house this weekend. I can only sit and bid farewell because like them, I am too their in-transit friend.

Level 2016: You Are Just Going To Get Harder Aren’t You?


If life is compared to a computer game then each year would be a level.

In the beginning of the level, it seems easier but with time it gets harder and harder. You pray for the demon to appear so you could beat him and finish the level.

If life is a computer game, then that demon really cannot be defeated. Because that bastard reiterates itself in multiple forms that it no longer have a name or face. That demon can be beat but then you will be wary of its reappearance.

If life is a computer game, then the game developer must be one of the sneaky ones. Because this game does not drop hints of the coming monstrosity. However, in the game developer’s defence, there are no intimation of blissful moments either. Sneaky and gracious game developer then.

If life is a computer game then most times you get hurt. However there is no reset button, if you die there is no reincarnation at the hospital like its GTA. There are no cheat code to gain weapons so that you can kill away the bastards in life. Then again, you realize you cannot hurt even a fly, killing is way out of your league.

Friends are those bonus which come irregularly but revitalize your life. Family is the thing that can sap your energy but without them the game is worthless. Game scores become irrelevant after enough game-play because the missions matter more. You already know you can’t get a perfect score; unless of course you have money.

If life is a computer game then level 2016 is going to be tougher than 2015.

There will be more heartbreak, more brutalities, sporadic joys. But maybe you have finally gotten the hang of it now.

Now you, if life is a computer game then you know where to look if you are almost out of power. You almost can see the trap coming from a couple of meters away. And you also know that you might be wrong. You would know what you are looking for, it won’t be absolute but it will be enough for now.

If 2016 is a game level, then there are a lot of levels left to play, so do not give up. Because you will die, so take your time and get up again. The rules are almost discernible now. Life is difficult, levels are more difficult and love is impossible.

But you play this computer game of life, cause only then there’s any meaning. Cause only then there’s Elysium in hardships.

Thank You: We ought to say it more


Because we do not say thank you to anyone any more.

Not to family or friends, the prospect of saying thank you to people who owe us nothing is a far fetched dream. A irony of this lack of expression is social media though.

Say Thank You to the people, like the conductor who punched your ticket on the public transport, or the guy who held the elevator for you. Or for that matter who kept the door open when you walked in with your hands full. Their deeds are not extraordinary, but necessary nonetheless.


Thank You is a simple thing to say, common words in every language.  If used apropos, they can explicit the gratitude.

I am trying to be genuine in my expression. It is difficult because everyone is a skeptic, but it doesn’t hurt to try.

A while ago, I met a girl who said Thanks to everyone. The ticket conductor, the rickshaw driver, the person who served our meals. Intrigued and awestruck I asked her why. Her answer was a shrug, a habit I guessed was ingrained in her demeanour.

I unwittingly adopted her habit. Soon I said thank you to the elevator man, the lunch boy, canteen boy, watchman, neighbour. Yeah, pretty much everybody.

It feels good, when you say Thank you to the conductor who just gave you change when commuting. It feels better when you say thanks for doing his job. Same goes for grocery shopping, say thank you and the stall owner and he is bound to greet you back with his hands raised and posed in a Namaste or a Salaam.

Seriously, try it.


A month ago, I took a bus home. Unfortunately, I had a 500 rupee note, 16 rupee change and the ticket was a mere 26 rupee in comparison. The conductor had no change to give me. He did not want to risk taking the note from me either, he explained that recently there is a plethora of fake currency. 

He respectfully (that is a miracle in itself) asked me to get down at the next stop and take the next bus.

Distressed, I fumed about what to do because I did not want to wait for the next bus. It was already a long day at the office. The guy who sat in front of me overheard our conversation and offered to pay the remainder. That was bigger miracle.

In a small conversation he gave me a huge lesson in humility; he told me he was stuck with some money issue in the bus. Someone helped him out too then. Now he helped me out and asked me to help out another such stuck commuter if I could.

I promised that I will, thanking him more than once. I also made a promise to buy his ticket the next time we meet. Unfortunately, I no longer remember his name, face. He is now another random face in the crowd for me.

I still have not helped any other commuter in a similar fashion, but I help in any way possible.


There is more than one instance when the thank you is not acknowledged.

I get it, the listener may not have heard me. Maybe they were having a bad day. Its cool, its all cool.

Like I said, I enjoy saying the words. It is ingrained in me by my own deeds,  a habit that I do not want to obviate.

The heart of the issue is most of the people do not say thank you. They act as they do not even care. I do not help people for their thank you, and at the risk of sounding a hypocrite, that nonchalance is offending.

I feel like staring at the people for whom I just kept the elevator waiting (this happens a lot of time in my office) to coerce them into saying thank you.

Like the girl however, I just shrug it off.


The irony of this situation is social media. For me saying thank you is not manners but I am assuming that they are manners for every other socialite.

On Facebook, Twitter and everywhere else, manners are rigorously followed. Every comment gets a thank you.

But in real life, thank you is lost, meaningless and taken for granted.

It says something about us, my generation. We consider the same words as a sign of weakness.

Suddenly, due to pop culture idolizing the stolid, arrogant protagonists and other ignorant heretics, saying and acknowledging other people’s kindness depicts a weak individual.

Seriously, WTF!


In stark contrast, help out an old person and wait till you hear him say Thank You Beta (son). There is the zenith of humility and graciousness. The qualities one should be chasing and not money.

I remember speaking to a good friend once and she told me about her classmates. One thing we both agreed on is the lack of humility everywhere. Everyone is a braggadocio. Everyone wants to prove their superiority. No one wants to help though, no one can say thank you and sorry anymore.

We debate about intolerance and feminism. We have not yet learned the basic, easy humane values. Then we wonder what is wrong with the world.

Guest Post #5: Quest for a Right Job


Here’s Melissa’s post. Do have a read, I for one found some great inspiration from reading this. This is one guest post I have not edited for it deserved to be as it is. Her Blog ‘In Between Moderation‘ is amazing and worthy of a follow.
You can also check out her interview. Take the stage Melissa:

With a knotted stomach I hit send on my application. This is probably the 23th job I have applied for in the past 20 years averaging to a job a year. The case however is different; I have been with the same company for several years. However, I have switched positions in a vain attempt to find where I fit. That’s the thing about the working world. It’s hard to know what you are meant to do. Sometimes it is self-doubt that derails you, sometimes it is poor timing, bad economy, or just happenstance.

My career path had been close to a jagged line with peaks and valleys then an upward curving trajectory. After graduating collage I thought, in a naive misguided way, that it would be smooth sailing. Just find a job in my field and happily plug away. That was until I received my first paycheck…and realized it was not enough to cover my rent. What about all that schooling! They told me a college degree was what I needed to set myself up for a good steady stream of income. Arrange my life to have the 2.5 kids and white picket fence of my dreams. I remember staring at the paycheck in disbelief. What I was told in collage was a lie. No dream job was waiting for me when I graduated. No automatic insurance into a good life came with my diploma. I had to change my plans.

Thus ensued my search for the “right” job. A job that didn’t make me feel like I was surrounded by characters from the movie “Office Space,” and that didn’t evoke feelings of the opening scene in “Joe vs. The Volcano.”  After spending two years fruitlessly trying to make my collage degree worth something in my chosen field. I got tired of living at the poverty line and decided to ” get a real job,” with set hours and benefits.

What I didn’t know was this job came with a shackle that handcuffed me to my desk and measured every moment of production possible. That included timed bathroom breaks and various acronyms for measuring of productivity. AHT, WID, these that were suppose to have some sort of meaning to me, but never did. I bounce around to several of these types of jobs feeling pretty lost but making enough money to live on.

This time was not a totally loss however, the jobs were draining and unfulfilling but I learned a lot about how I worked and how to get along in an office environment. I learned how to interview for jobs. Mainly when to keep my mouth shut. However, I hated this type of environment, and its lack of freedom. I often hoped I would have a car accident so I would have an excuse not to go to work.

After several years the company decided to move. Everyone was terrified. I was relieved. This was it. This was my way out. But to where? I still did not know. I bounced around to several more jobs until I found the company I have been with. I settled here. Why? The people were not insane, I was not chained to a desk and I enjoyed the environment. Was the job fulfilling… no. I got board pretty quickly.

However, this was another transition point in life where I learned about myself. I got married and gave birth to two children. I found an unusual amount of support in the people I worked with. I learned how to better get along with those of differing viewpoints. I learned that my boss is not an evil maladjusted wackjob, hell bent on making me miserable. They are people who are just trying to get through the day and even if they like you they have to do their job too. The other employee’s came to be like family to me, mean older sisters and spoiled younger brothers at times, but they were there for me when I needed a family. I didn’t know until then a job could offer that.

As far as the work however, I created nothing, left no mark, had no new skills to learn and after a time become board and disgruntled. I needed to move on. So I did. Moved into a position that I thought would allow me to grow. Somewhere I thought would finally lead to a career, to a place where I fit. Unfortunately, this was not it. My hopes where soon dashed in a position that held no movement or growth. It was filled with fossils of an old régime who guarded there knowledge like “my precious” in Lord of the Rings. I was given minimal tasks and little human interaction. This began to weigh on my mind, and my self worth. Little mistakes became inflated. With no were to go, I felt trapped like a claustrophobic in a box.

But as in all the jobs I had prior, I turned inward for my lessons. There was growth to be had but it was inside of me. I needed to identify who I was outside of what I did for a job. Thus began my blog at Inbetweenmoderation.com. I also embarked on the journey of making a cake decorating hobby into a viable side business. Most importantly, I searched beyond my employer to define what I choose to give back to society. This has lead me to try something difference and in the end try for a position that I would have never thought I stood a chance in.

Where am I going with this? The jobs I have had might have seemed like a stagnant void of despair. It might have seemed like I was standing still for all those years, searching for somewhere I fit. I have come to realize that each job was a stepping stone, a place marker for something I need to learn about myself. The growth and change needed to take place in me. I needed to learn about myself before I could ever understand where I fit. So as you go thru your career and job landscape remember, it isn’t the job that make you who you are. It is you that makes you who you are. The job only a part of the journey, but finding where you fit is so much more then any job give you. You find where you fit when you finally figure out what job fits for you.


Thank you Melissa for this wonderful post.

PS: I am still open for more guest bloggers and I encourage more to come. If interested then contact me on: itsmayurremember@gmail.com
(image credits: yorksolutions.com)
Guest Blog

Guest Post #4: Busy Bees


Without much adieu, here’s the guest post by Alisha, do check out her blog “LifeEventsObservation“. Check out her interview here.


Are we ever free? No, we are ALWAYS busy. Timed actions and controlled words. Here’s life:

7:00 wake up
7:30 breakfast
8:00 off to work
9:00 work
10:00 Continue working…

No breathing time, we are too busy to gawk around. We look forward to something new, all the time.  Our attention is hardly on now. While at work, we are looking forward to going home and taking a nap.  When we are almost going off to bed, we plan the next day.  Making plans is not unusual. It keeps us motivated, makes us hop with vigour.

But where’s the time to paint? Where’s the time to read or to sing discordantly? To dance like there’s no tomorrow? Where’s the time for ourselves?

We are following the flock. Be the shepherd and change directions. Routine is boring. Avoid it!! It’s lethal!

I have known amazing people with mind throbbing lifestyles who at the age of 35-40 want to give it all up and withdraw into a normal life. They are the victims of routine. They have a nice car, a beautiful mansion, sons and daughters, loads of money yet they aren’t content.

What’s lacking here?  Time: they don’t have time for themselves.

They, or I say, we are living for the world. We have lost the true meaning and purpose of life. Satisfaction, peace, spirituality, inner happiness: these are all waiting for us to summon them up.

Imagine, you get two options to choose from:
1. At 25: little but enough money to satiate common pleasures, living the life you want to

OR

2. Living like the rest of the world, working hard, saving bank money and touring the world at 65?

I’ll choose the former. I’ll tell you why!

When you’re old, and, well, touring the world, you cannot eat junk food, cause it will trouble your super sensitive digestive tummy. You get cramps in your legs, aches in your back, head, and stomach, almost everywhere. You cannot drink through the night or dance to the blaring music. Your body would need rest, YOU would need rest.

Think about yourself! Do what you want! Hell with the world.

It’s trying to bring you down while it’s already beneath you. Talk to a roadside peddler, know their life, eat at cheap restaurants, board a bus taking you to an unknown place, purchase a ticket of Mission Impossible and sneak into the auditorium screening of Inside out.

Just do it!

It’s hell lot of fun. Be a kid. It’s screaming inside us. Let your craziness take hold of you. Get the door!

Explore the world!

Feel beautiful. 🙂


Thank You Alisha for the support.

PS: I am still open for more guest bloggers and I encourage more to come. If interested then contact me on: itsmayurremember@gmail.com

Down Memory Lane


Mulund. Devi Dayal road. My father’s home.

We visited an aunt last Saturday. After a long time, we met her and I thoroughly enjoyed it. We got to know that the lane in which my father lived his childhood has changed, the buildings are replaced by residential towers, the road is bigger and slum dwellers at the end of the lane are now up scaled to a building.

Only thing that stayed the same was Hanuman Temple.

My mother’s curiosity gave the necessary nudge and we walked father’s lane,  down memory lane.

I have heard my father’s childhood stories numerous times. Nonetheless they are always hogged down by my ears, my face may actually light up on hearing those stories.

He pointed out small garage type house that his family of 10 or more used to live in, I feel proud to see how far he has come, how humble his origins are, somewhat closer to understand why he aspires greatness from me. That house is now the office of Rotary Club.

Father’s friend used to live in the building opposite, now there’s a new ornate tower standing there, the friend moved away now.

My mind begun coining a line, something inspired from a WWE match I saw. Before I digress and ramble upon my fandom of The Undertaker, I’ll quote the lines:

Fortune fame 
Mirror vain 
Gone insane 
But the memory remains 

Buildings torn down. Shopkeepers changed. Gardens built anew. Pictures faded. Friends moved away. But the memory remains.

As our trip down the memory lane finished, the stories were just getting started. Father told me again about how he and his friends would hang out at the gate the Lalchand Laxmibai hostel, his school Dayanand vedic highschool. His tea ‘adda’ or spot with his friends and later my mom joined him after marriage at paach rasta. (five way junction) He remembers the cost, 4 paise for a cutting tea back then.

He showed us his favorite restaurant in its early days, Kirti Mahal. That restaurant is extremely popular now, with a huge queue waiting for their turn. His pals would visit the restaurant and with hand skills steal spoons and forks for their hostel. My dad looked for a pan wala but that shop was missing.

Alas, no visit to past memories would be complete without loss. He found out that one of his school classmates passed away a year ago.

I had great hopes for finishing this evening with the best dinner possible: Pav Bhaji from the stall that he used to eat from. Yes that stall is still there after 40 years, the food delicious.

After waiting for 30 minutes for the food, I quickly hogged it down, burped on the road without any shame. My dad satisfied by eating there, greeting the busy cook.

The evening was a mix of melancholy and ebullience.

It made me think about why I always loved Mulund more than my home Dombivali(both are city names).

The former has a family connection, it feels homely. It feels part of my heritage, my roots arise there. The exact same feeling arises when I visit my maternal grandparents.

There’s a bond there which runs across a generation. It is like homecoming.

Captivated


Many people catch my attention but only few of them truly captivate me.

Today I met an extraordinary woman.

She is my aunt’s mother, easily older than 80 years.

I don’t know her name, her last name I learnt from the nameplate.  I am clueless about her education, her marriage, her accomplishments or her regrets: because I didn’t ask them.

In fact I didn’t ask her anything, I just watched her in wide eyed wonder. I observed her energy and cordial personality, a person captivated.

Yes, captivated.

She couldn’t hear anymore but that didn’t impede her loquacious nature, she can lip read everyone: me, my parents, my aunt, even the actors on TV! Her focus oscillated from one person to the next as we spoke, she wanted to be a part of the conversation.

She spoke with everyone, she made me feel as a part of her family even if I had just met her for the very first time. I am part of her family, to her my father is like her son.

I heard her stories and her theories. She doesn’t leave her house anymore because she wants to pass away at her own home, she doesn’t want to taint her sons’ houses with her death.

Back when my father was a child, she used to summon him for small errands, my father never said no. Today when they met she told him she has some work for him, he still didn’t say no.

Her two favorite things are the bank and moving. Yes, I said she doesn’t leave her home so wait.
Her residential area is under remodeling. Old buildings are being replaced with new towers, the previous residents are given apartments in the new tower. She keeps making arrangement for a new temporary apartment even though her building is not scheduled for remaking. In fact, the plan is just under talks and nothing is finalized.

She is meticulous about her accounts, always checking to see if her money’s still there. Nowadays she calls over a nearby kid, pays him 15 rs to go and check her account! The same kid was also summoned to visit her cousin who was hospitalized.

She has a diary, all the people who she knows are in it. Contact numbers, their residences everything. She has maintained it over the years so well that my aunt only uses her diary as a contact list. She took our numbers today.

Like I said her gregarious nature doesn’t permit her to stay aloof, she calls people and speaks to them over loudspeaker of the phone. According to my aunt, her telephonic conversations are a shouting match.

I love her, I don’t have any blood ties with her but I wish there should be one, no matter how distant. Her diabetes has no control over her, she would eat rice and sweets whenever my aunt’s unaware.

Funniest thing is that she is always smiling. She is unique in that, her frankness and motherly nature. If you were there, you would probably touch her legs in awe and respect. Like I said I was captivated.

Before we left her abode, she gave me and my brother ten rupee notes. I never do this but I marked her note and vowed to never spend it. When she made me vow to never spend it later at the door, I wanted to hug her and say I was never going to spend it anyway.

wp-1463814512867.jpg

This is the goal. To be so venerated, to possess such candor, to meet another youngster and make him captivated.

After all, what is life’s goal but to be remembered.

Your Eyes


(Daily Prompt : Born To Be With You
Not completely related but I found some connection so I am putting this in connection)

Literary Lion: Eye
(I’m being lazy by not writing another post but I already have written this!)

I saw you in train, I was soaked from the rains. I couldn’t see your face. Your niqab covered your face. But I saw your eyes. All I saw was your eyes. Those soft round eyes surrounded by chalk white skin. Some mascara maybe. The deep black irises. I don’t think i have been so enthralled by eyes ever before.

I kept looking, occasionally realizing that I have to look somewhere else. I don’t know if you noticed my stare, because if you did then I would have been bitten senseless in the train. I don’t know how your face looked, I couldn’t hear your voice but I saw your eyes and for me that was enough. Black as a moonless night, I don’t know if iris are ever this black. I stared because there was something about them, I know it was wrong.

I don’t think you noticed anybody in the train. For you were enthralled by your boyfriend on who’s shoulder you kept your head. And he kept talking, his voice getting louder as if he spoke with the entire compartment and not just you. I would have kept quiet and stared. Stared at something so small and so immensely beautiful.

I don’t think I’ll meet you again. I won’t remember you either in a week.

And I went home, forlorn, listening to James Blunt sing ‘You’re beautiful ’

Check out other people’s responses :
http://kosheradobo.com/2013/10/29/orange-crush/
http://jitterygt.wordpress.com/2014/03/29/neurosis-from-a-to-z/
http://bessjonesphotography.wordpress.com/2014/03/29/born-to-be-with-you-bess-you-is-my-woman-now-daily-prompt/
http://sincerelyherz.wordpress.com/2014/03/19/bitten-by-the-love-bug/
http://agent909.wordpress.com/2014/03/29/daily-prompt-born-to-be-with-you-psychology-behind-choosing-to-like-people-we-met/
http://sincerelyherz.wordpress.com/2014/03/27/emily-and-justin-the-proposal/
http://themagicblackbook.wordpress.com/2014/03/29/born-to-be-with-you/
http://sabethville.wordpress.com/2014/03/29/dp-daily-prompt-born-to-be-with-you/
http://childrencount.wordpress.com/2014/03/29/born-to-be-with-you/
http://notjustanyotherblog.wordpress.com/2014/03/03/be-the-edward-to-my-vivian/
http://seikaiha.wordpress.com/2014/03/29/daily-prompt-born-to-be-with-you/
http://jigokucho.wordpress.com/2014/03/29/about-a-panda/
http://mcswhispers.wordpress.com/2012/10/28/love-life-and-loss/
http://myauthoritis.wordpress.com/2014/03/29/she-loves-me/
http://lifesansgod.wordpress.com/2014/03/29/the-one-i-love/
http://wordywings.wordpress.com/2014/03/29/born-to-be-with-you-daily-prompt/
http://mcwilson1956.wordpress.com/2014/03/29/recharging-the-cell-phone/
http://eastelmhurstagogo.wordpress.com/2014/03/29/people-let-me-tell-you-about-my-best-friend/
Born To Be With You
http://meanderedwanderings.wordpress.com/2014/03/29/opposites-attract/
http://thebohemianrockstarpresents.wordpress.com/2014/03/29/an-ode-to-a-soul-mate-who-doesnt-exist/
http://averildean.wordpress.com/2014/03/29/cradle/
http://flowersandbreezes.wordpress.com/2014/03/29/my-sun-my-life/
http://viewsplash.wordpress.com/2014/03/29/welcome-back/
Born to be with You: Daily Post
http://neverstationary.wordpress.com/2013/05/25/this-kid-i-know-michelle/
http://neverstationary.wordpress.com/2012/11/20/how-to-be-a-best-friend/
http://asianchemnerd.wordpress.com/2014/03/29/born-to-be-with-you/
http://marthakennedy.wordpress.com/2014/03/29/give-her-the-truth-serum-now/
http://myatheistblog.com/2014/03/29/daily-prompt-born-to-be-with-you/
http://kate0murray.wordpress.com/2014/03/29/soul-mates/
http://gulliblestravelsdma.wordpress.com/2014/03/29/let-me-tell-you-a-secret/
http://jilliannette.wordpress.com/2014/03/29/my-virtual-best-friend/
http://disappearingwoman.wordpress.com/2014/03/29/every-fiber-of-my-being/
Love Crime, Acts of Love, and wacky love bits: this week’s weird news
http://ohthatwaspoetry.wordpress.com/2014/03/29/born-to-be-with-you/
http://remissionary.wordpress.com/2014/03/29/we-go-together-like-a-bird-and-a-feather/
http://arrythmatic.wordpress.com/2014/03/29/dear-stephen/
http://hudleyflipside.org/2014/03/29/the-swale-and-the-swirl-of-now/
http://daniellemcfarlane.wordpress.com/2014/03/29/daily-prompt-born-to-be-with-you/
http://startingwritenow.com/2014/03/29/soulmate/
http://basicallybeyondbasic.com/2014/03/29/daily-prompt-born-to-be-with-you/
http://myrenaissanceblog.wordpress.com/2014/03/29/how-i-met-my-beast-my-love-my-christopher/
http://yellowbrickroad7.wordpress.com/2014/03/29/my-person/
http://incidentsofadysfunctionalspraffer.wordpress.com/2014/03/29/daily-prompt-born-to-be-with-you/
http://myjourneyeveryday.wordpress.com/2014/03/29/born-to-be-with-you/
http://loveletterstoaghost.wordpress.com/2014/03/29/doorsteps-and-parking-lots/
http://yichinglin.wordpress.com/2014/03/29/in-intro-to-anatomy/
http://hometogo232.wordpress.com/2014/03/29/daily-prompt-born-to-be-with-you/
http://helenmeikle.wordpress.com/2014/03/30/daily-prompt-born-to-be-with-me/
http://oneeducatorsopinion.wordpress.com/2014/03/29/whats-a-girl-gonna-do-without-a-best-friend-i-have-no-idea-because-i-have-3/
http://wileyschmidt.com/2014/03/29/circle-of-love/
http://wisskko.wordpress.com/2014/03/29/strong-bond-with-her/
http://tonkadella.wordpress.com/2014/03/30/born-to-be-with-you/
http://bluejbluej.wordpress.com/2014/03/30/someone-else-would-do/
http://darkinnerthoughts.wordpress.com/2014/03/30/daily-prompt/
http://maya0615.wordpress.com/2014/03/30/daily-prompt-born-to-be-with-you/
http://dreamypepper.wordpress.com/2014/03/29/daily-prompt-born-to-be-with-you/
http://manmadeoceans.wordpress.com/2014/03/30/born-to-be-with-you/
Anamchara
http://robert-eberhard.com/2014/03/30/why-i-love-kim-and-will-be-marrying-her-soon/
Born to Be With You
http://allthingscuteandbeautiful.wordpress.com/2014/03/29/daily-prompt-being-a-soul-mate/
http://faranastus.wordpress.com/2014/03/31/for-born-to-be-with-you-daily-prompt/
http://easterellen.com/2014/03/31/meant-to-be/
http://justbeverity.wordpress.com/2014/04/02/daily-prompt-born-to-be-with-you/
http://treasurethememory.wordpress.com/2014/04/03/born-to-be-with-you/
http://shardsofsilence.wordpress.com/2014/04/05/star-crossed-lovers/
http://wildandfreeandme.wordpress.com/2014/04/16/my-greatest-fear-as-a-mother/
http://randommstuffblah.wordpress.com/2014/04/22/born-to-be-with-you/
http://emmerleener.wordpress.com/2014/04/27/to-you-with-love/
https://marthakennedy.wordpress.com/2015/07/11/molly-first-then/
https://vexingpoint.wordpress.com/2015/07/11/daily-prompt-born-to-be-with-you/
http://geekergosum.com/2015/07/11/marriage-or-born-to-be-with-you/
https://thelonerose.wordpress.com/2015/07/11/my-best-friends/
https://loisajay1213.wordpress.com/2015/07/11/daily-prompt-born-to-be-with-you-2/
https://debooworks.wordpress.com/2014/05/10/greatest-friend/
https://thecoolbookworm.wordpress.com/2015/07/11/tanya-and-ryan-3/
https://509majesty.wordpress.com/2015/07/11/gave-up-on-that/
https://irishkisses.wordpress.com/2015/07/11/a-tree-named-fred/
https://quest4voice.wordpress.com/2015/07/11/the-best-friend-and-soul-mate-ever/
and the Kitchen Sync
LOVING SWEET HAZEL
https://nonsmokingladybug.wordpress.com/2015/07/11/meant-to-be/
https://unbolt.wordpress.com/2015/04/03/an-averter/
https://flowersandbreezes.wordpress.com/2015/07/11/born-to-be-with-you/
Shoo in…
https://tessacandoit.wordpress.com/2015/07/11/born-to-be-with-you-by-the-daily-post/
https://booksearchjourney.wordpress.com/2015/07/11/darling/
https://meginwriting.wordpress.com/2015/07/11/my-two-best-friends-are-guys/
https://therealuniversitylife.wordpress.com/2015/07/11/alcohol-joint-classes-secrets-and-shenanigans/
https://promptlings.wordpress.com/2015/07/11/soul-mates/
https://myleviathan.wordpress.com/2015/07/11/going-solo/
Ah, Friday…
Reflected Glory
https://theyyouandme.wordpress.com/2015/07/11/gone-haiku/
https://myhappinessisanallegory.wordpress.com/2015/07/11/my-hero-for-the-day/
https://madgefie.wordpress.com/2015/07/11/my-bro/
https://promptlings.wordpress.com/2015/07/11/saturday-sing-a-long-daily-prompt-mash-up/
https://cshowers.wordpress.com/2015/07/11/born-to-be-with-you/

Born to Be With You


https://alotfromlydia.wordpress.com/2015/07/11/a-soulmate/
https://ladybugswritings.wordpress.com/2015/07/11/8/
https://justsometwentysomethingrambles.wordpress.com/2015/07/11/my-best-friend-my-soul-mate/
https://nelkumi.wordpress.com/2015/07/11/all-of-the-above-and-more/
https://awonderingsoulsblog.wordpress.com/2015/07/11/my-sister/
https://paigempowell.wordpress.com/2015/07/12/can-i-take-a-hit-off-that-smile/
https://rogershipp.wordpress.com/2015/07/11/born-to-be-with-you/
http://www.rileycentral.net/my-wife-sarah-and-i/
https://deanneworld.wordpress.com/2015/07/11/im-still-loving-you/
https://18monthsindc.wordpress.com/2015/07/11/relocating-with-my-best-friend-2/
https://veracitymama.wordpress.com/2015/07/11/just-cant-do-the-soulmate-thing-today-so/
https://seifsalamakarem.wordpress.com/2013/10/28/love/
http://bookreviews1966.com/2015/07/11/daily-prompt-born-to-be-with-you/
https://shameport.wordpress.com/2015/07/07/morning/
https://thestrangeher.wordpress.com/2015/07/12/your-answer/
http://macbofisbil.com/2014/11/20/the-greatest-uncle/
https://maddqueen.wordpress.com/2015/07/12/in-his-eyes/
https://alkagirdhar.wordpress.com/2015/07/12/the-one-youre-meant-to-be-with/
https://perferviddreams.wordpress.com/2015/07/12/for-you-with-you/
https://lebomokoena99.wordpress.com/2015/07/12/born-to-be-with-you/
https://anupturnedsoul.wordpress.com/2015/07/12/when-the-soul-lies-down-in-that-grass/
https://mondozeitgeist.wordpress.com/2015/07/12/in-response-to-the-daily-posts-writing-prompt-born-to-be-with-you/
https://awordadventure.wordpress.com/2015/07/12/born-to-be-with-you-destined-meeting/
“Born to Be With You”
Sole Mate
https://deanneworld.wordpress.com/2015/07/12/that-much-more/
My Boyfriend Should be the Music Blogger: #NaBloPoMo/#DailyPost
https://yournibblednews.wordpress.com/2015/07/13/daily-post-born-to-be-with-you-soul-mate-or-just-a-kindred-spirit/
Why Do You Like Her/Him?
https://amommasview.wordpress.com/2015/07/14/born-to-be-with-you/
https://elingrace.wordpress.com/2015/07/14/seek-ye-first/

Literary lion responses:
https://unusualstrangeness.wordpress.com/2015/08/13/unseen/
https://sonyca.wordpress.com/2015/08/13/shes-had-it-coming/
https://mandibelle16.wordpress.com/2015/08/13/literary-lion-sophia-crying/
https://balconyviewz.wordpress.com/2015/08/13/anticipation-a-sonnet/
https://tuckedintoacorner.wordpress.com/2015/08/14/the-painter/
The Deadline
Literary Lion : In his mind’s eye
https://any1mark66.wordpress.com/2015/08/14/literary-lion-eye-of-stranger/
https://livehomeandaway.wordpress.com/2015/08/14/the-lens/
Apple of Her Eye
Literary Lion – Watcher
http://rfrmst.com/2015/08/16/can-you-see/
https://vnktchari.wordpress.com/2015/08/17/literary-lion-eyes-the-eyes-are-scaring-me/
https://mytakemythoughts.wordpress.com/2015/08/17/seeing-through-the-noise/
Blue sea

Feed The Sparrows


Having nothing to do is dangerous. The task less indolent mind wanders onto places and ideas that you would’ve never reached. And it’s also possible that during such a time nothing can be achieved or a lot can be found. Such is my case.
Every night I made a plan, and every night the plan differed. And with a person like me, one who has a very very vivid imagination the plans stretched far out into the future into success stories.

Dreaming with my eyes open

One such a plan was to join a NGO for animals. I love animals, and they are ones who suffer by our, we human beings, actions. They are the helpless voiceless victims of our ambitions and they deserve something back. Jimmy(my dog) thought me alot of things and it is because of him I know animals know sorrow and happiness. They are more than any other species, they are Life
So I looked for NGO that are nearby and the ones whose interests matches my own. And staying in an almost rural town doesn’t help because many NGO are so far away that it is mostly stupid to go there. Good intent but still stupid. One NGO chairman that I spoke with gave the idea of a sparrow feeder. He had the idea that we can make our own feeders and place them around the area. I have seen the same in a show called Heavy Petting On NDTV Good Times years ago. And I know because it is getting rare to see a sparrow on the balcony or window these days.

Determined to not let anything hinder me I asked the person who I knew feeds birds. The grocery store owner. You know this is true because there’s always pigeons outside his store feeding on some grains. I asked him what do pigeons and sparrows eat. With a lack of of explanation he packed some grains for me and said to place only a small quantity on the window. He is the experienced person here so I took his advice.
What do I need to feed sparrows? Some jowar (sorghum) and bajri (pearl millet).

And a place on window where I can keep the grains, probably an old gardening pot. I did that and the first day no sparrows. No pigeons. Next morning I was greeted with the sweet cooing voice of the sparrows. By mid morning the window had at least three four sparrows perched, each adding their own voices to a song whose meaning was unintelligible to me. But it was melodious.

Never thought that voices like that would be so peaceful to hear

So every day I fed them, everyday their voices brought some life into the house that was mostly empty. And then the pigeons arrived. The birds which are at least twice the size of an average sparrow and when they ate no sparrows could even perch on the same window. To counter this I made two pots, and one of them was hanging from the ceiling. Much to the annoyance of my mom, who didn’t want any birds to damage any of the plants that she had planted, I fed both pigeons and sparrows. The one hanging from the ceiling is for sparrows only and I make sure no pigeon tries to eat from there.

The melody of the birds returned after a day and now it’s part of my morning routine. Get up, drink tea and then serve the grains for the new guests of the house. And it is the simplest thing.

So I urge you, if there’s anything that you can do,and which doesn’t require much of your efforts it is this. Feed the sparrows. It is as simple as watering the plants which is already a part of most people’s morning routine mine included. Buy grains, install a pot and every morning serve grains.



PS:
The sparrows come primarily in the morning and evening around 4-6 pm. Everyday. And they fly from windowsill to pot,  loud and full of energy. And for people who care about animals, this might be a simple way to start. No huge efforts, minimal responsibility and heart warming results.

Check out this page: Sparrow Shelter

What Do You Want to Do in Life?


My dad sat with me the other night to have a very important talk. I expected the conversation to involve drinking or something related to it. Instead he shocked me by asking a question I was never ready for. I will probably be never be able to answer.

Beta kya karna hai life me? ‘what do you want to do with your life? ’

*******

Two months and so many job applications. I have been choosy and more than haphazard in my options. So till date I’m still looking for a job that I’ll go and say yes without slightest hesitation. Idealistic and dreamy view.

I wrote two pieces about my recent interviews and I have realized that I have made my share of mistakes. My brain though is amazing in figuring out where a circuit is faulty is not so speedy recovering from unprepared questions thrown at me.

*****
I couldn’t answer my father. I didn’t lie, I said I don’t know what I want to do with my life, I am confused. I am trying to figure things out. One step at a time but I need some experience to understand my capabilities and my interests. He never pushed me neither did he gave a reprimand for not knowing the answers. Usually this question sends me to Dark corner where there is no return for a day or two. This time I stood and tried my best to answer it. And I intend to make sure I have an answer for it.

And as the decision dragged on they said that I give up too soon. I might be a cantankerous and testy asshole but I never give up. And then I kept quiet. Because I knew now my words are useless and I had to get things sorted.

*****

I have no idea how or when my parents decided to visit a fortune teller. They have their own faith and while I can’t say the same I couldn’t oppose it even if I wanted to. Because they never told us where we were going.

My brother lost his job recently. And while we are really confident that he can dust this off in no time and pick another great opportunity, we all are worried for him. And my parents had two reasons to visit the teller. And the revelations were fantastic/hilarious.

They intend to make a locket for me because I’m a sloth and that’s the way to make a person active. I don’t my parent’s concern or care but I do think it is pretty useless. I said if you both believe it then I’ll wear. The decision was instantaneous.

The funny part was when they exclaimed that they asked about my marriage. Apparently I’m going to have a love marriage. I’m sure that’s fortune’s way of mocking me.

*******
I made a to do list. It’s huge and it’s constantly being amended. And just last week when I thought I had a great life I realize that’s because I let procrastination get the better off me. This list has unfinished items from atleast six months. Prominent among them is to get my slurred speech remedied. I am not going to be mocked because I can’t pronounce Roller.

I still don’t have answers. But I am going to try get them. And I won’t quit.

******

I had another interview. This one via a contact and this time something that I know is perfect for me.

And I didn’t keep quiet when he said this isn’t the job for me. I tried, I tried harder to somehow change his answer from ‘we have no job openings’ to something affirmative. Something that shows a glimmer of hope. Nada.

Another job I’m not made for apparently

******

My juniors ask me for suggestions in their project and GRE and placement. Everything they ask. And I don’t blame them, guidance is needed.

So if you are reading this and you know you are going to have to face a similar situation as my juniors my advice would be the same.

Go for it. Couple of redundant certificates don’t hurt. Do whatever comes your way for now. Do them till you figure out the answers to the questions I can’t answer. Tap on every opportunity you can get. You don’t know where your life will head. So don’t be an idiot and think you have everything figured out. Go for it.

People Suck!


*This is a rant. There’s a possibility that none of this is meant for you but for the people I have in my life and I can’t just get rid of*

Yes I said it. Yes its mean. Yes I am Rambling and ranting but i hate people.

All you ever do is make life worse. Hardly do you ever bring to the table something good, hell you don’t eve bring yourselves most of the times deciding to wear a mask rather than show who you are.

You in all your diplomacy and crafty choice of words.

You in your facebook statuses and instagram post. All you ever do is brag, i can’t seem to remember the last time there was anything sad there. Ever!

Yes you suck. Because you get everything you are looking for, with absolutely no efforts whatsoever. And no I am looking closely, I would have noticed if you are trying to make it look very easy. There’s no efforts. Just a smile and things just fall into place for you.

There’s no sorrow. There’s no regards for your friends. There’s just you and still people just scramble for your feet. No one cares if you use them and throw them away. Nope! everything’s cool.

You are mean. The rules to make you happy change in a second. There’s hypocrisy of unparalleled levels yet everyone keeps their mouth shut. Why? because it will hurt feelings. Where’s that consideration when you are being mean to me?!

And I hate you. Not because you are inhuman nor because you are an absolute asshole, but because the field’s never equal between us. No amount of good I do will ever wipe out the bad I did, but you never have to do anything good. I will never get another chance and there you will be able to be choosy with chances. I will always earn less, struggle more and lay awake at night thinking what to do tomorrow while you will be having another great night. Everyone will praise me and say shit about you yet when the time’s come then I stand alone.

Yes its just a few people who are this way but its these people who make me think its better to spend time with my dog rather than try to fit in this world.

Introspection


I got nominated by Adi to participate in the Freestyle Writing Challenge, which is a great little exercise in fluid, un-interrupted writing.

So here are the RULES of this challenge:

1.Open an MS Word document

2. Set a stop watch or your mobile to 5 minutes or 10 minutes whichever challenge you think you can beat.

3.You topic is at the foot of this post BUT DO NOT SCROLL DOWN TO SEE IT UNTIL YOU ARE READY WITH A TIMER.

4. Fill the word doc with as much words as you want. once you began writing do not stop even to turn.

5. Do not cheat by going back and correcting spellings and grammar with spell check in MS WORD (it is only meant for you to reflect on your own control of sensible thought flow and for you to reflect on your ability to write the right spelling and stick to grammar rules)

6. You may or may not pay attention to punctuation and capitals. However if you do, it would be best.

7. At the end of your post write down ‘No. Of words =_____’ so that we would have an idea of how much you can write within the time frame.

8. Do not forget to copy paste the entire passage on your blog post with a new Topic for your nominees and copy paste these rules with your nominations (at least 5 bloggers).

Here’s my article:

As I said to adi on her post that my blog is entirely introspective so writing another post isn’t that hard. But since she challenged me I’ll take it up nonetheless.

I read books, a lot of them anyway. I watch movies and anything else that seems remotely intersong on the TV. Music is the same.

I have read mystery novels, a huge bunch of fantasy novels and a lot of novels whose genre I myself never bothered to check.

Movie’s though I make sure I always check imdb before I watch it, there’s still a ton of movies that I watched simply because I liked the title.

Music is more fickle. Edm, trance, rock, alternative, country, soul, Sufi, Bollywood pop etc etc. I have heard it all mostly, and yet I always change my favorite genre.

The point I’m making is this: I always almost like whatever I’m watching/reading/listening. You can check my good reads page there is only positive reviews. I never have anything bad to say about whatever I watch etc.

It has always been the way. I like almost everything. I guess you can it being tasteless.

I would say just like Rocky Balboa “I like everybody(/thing)”

Time: 5 min

Word: 201. (Yuck! i had a great speed around my GRE exams!)

The nominees are:

1. Architarai

2. Akriti

3. Kay

4. Jai Vyas

5. Random musings

6. Adi(Revenge!)

Your topic: Ephemeral

You Have 5/10 minutes to write whatever you can.

Heart’s


Inspiration:
‘There’s no present or future, there’s just past happening over and over again’- Eugene O’Neil


Heart’s a kid,
It jumps like nothing else.

Heart’s an adult,
It carries a burden.

Heart’s fickle,
It doesn’t know what it wants.

Heart’s adamant,
It has to get what it wants.

Heart’s selfish,
Nobody else matters.

Heart’s selfless,
Everyone else matters.

Heart’s naive,
Isn’t ready for this world.

Heart’s stupid,
Always makes the same mistakes.

Heart’s cold,
Antarctica may be warmer.

Heart’s hot,
Pumps enough to fill oceans.

Heart’s sorrow,
Heart’s joy,
Heart’s fragile,
Heart’s tensile.

Heart’s human,
Or humans are hearts.

Joy


Ha! Ha!

I kept laughing like an absolute lunatic on the phone. She kept shouting at me to stop laughing because it was something serious. Eventually she gave up and hung up the phone.

This evening things went after a huge time better. I don’t know what prompted it. Whether there was any prompt or this was just a random act of kindness bestowed upon me by the universe.

Mostly the latter.

And I became happy. So happy that I jokingly threatened my mom to take care of her health, in an Italian accent no less. I even used The Godfather’s immortal line ‘I’ll make an offer you can’t refuse.’

And then laughed about it for like fifteen minutes.

Then skip to the phone call. I was supposed to be serious (it was more funny because of my temporary tattoo) but I couldn’t help it. The conversation was so cute that I kept on laughing and laughing.

image
Why So Serious

I am Happy. Over no reason at all. Yes, that makes me a little left out of center. And qualifies me for the nearest asylum. But I’m enjoying this feeling.

I’m smiling over nothing. I’m quoting movies and so many cliché Hindi statements, to my parents and brother no less that I am surprised they haven’t called asylum yet.

I even called Jimmy “Kutte!” (Dog in Hindi) full in a dharmendra (an bollywood actor who made the dialogue immortal on account of his style).

I love this feeling and writing this post because I know this happiness won’t last. And I want to make the most of it.

So I will give you an advice which I just gave.

If you ever feel like this: Enjoy it. Embrace it. This will not last. Make it count.

In a world where you are looking for reasons to be happy, being happy over nothing is rare.

Thanks For Reading
Itsmayurremember

Projects, Dashing cars, Bowling, Heartbreaks and everything in between.


Usually plans are made. Let’s hang out here, let’s go there on Sundays. But nothing happens and at the end you are left at home watching a movie for like tenth time eating same comfort food.

Sometimes spontaneous plans are born, kindled by the preceding unsuccessful attempts of planned hangouts, and something great comes out of it. This evening was one of those times.

While we gathered at college to complete our project, we decided upon going for bowling. That required a lot of pleading and an unexpected surprise at the positive response we received. Probably for the first or second time, my classmates decided to hang out willingly without the threat of a lecture on top of us.

Fast forward to the mall and bowling. Though that was the main destination, we took our time to reach there. And on the way was Hamleys.

Hamleys is a toy store in Infinity mall in goregoan, and my god, what a place! Every toy you could dream of, of every toy dreamt and every toy desired was there. Stuffed toys, miniature buildings, Jenga, cars, drums and pianos. Everything! We all were like a bunch of children roaming around looking at every toy we could see in absolute merriment. And then I found the remote controlled section. And that is something that I always loved. Always.
*mental note: buy a remote controlled helicopter*

Next dashing cars. The car arena where you keep hitting other car drivers to have fun. It took me half the time to figure out how to drive the damn thing. And it took more concentration to listen what the instructors keep telling me because I was too busy laughing. I laughed my lungs out there. Then we kept on hitting and crashing and crashing. Fun times.

First time bowling. And can I say it was well worth it. It took some time for me to learn. And when there are ten people ready to play in just two lanes, its is funny as hell!

After hanging out for hours, the toy store mostly brought out true natures from all of us, and when we spoke, we let all out. Relationships, heartbreaks (or vacancies), general guys do this versus girls do that etc etc. And if I may so conclude, that one made me realize that its not just us guys who are confused about the other sex its the other way around too. Confusion is more human nature.

A great day. One which later discussed was without one group photo or selfie. One where the company was enjoyed more than the place. Where memory was made in mind rather than SD card

Thanks For Reading
Itsmayurremember

How I Stitched A Button


Let’s back up a few days for now.

The last couple of weeks weren’t easy for me. For one I had to face the doomsday conundrum: Decisions.

Now, it probably is not a big deal for you but it was a big deal for me. I have to decide what to do about my future masters. And the ramifications of that weighs down on me more heavily than anything else. One of my friends pointed me that I am only considering the possibility that I will screw up and not the other side of the coin.

But that is what encumbers me: me messing up something which is almost dreamy.

While I struggled to decide what to do, facing more and more bad news, I really want to quit. Quit this and just stop trying. Knowing fully well that this isn’t going to work out.

In meanwhile I read this post by Bora. He explained perfectly what I couldn’t understand in my life. I realized that as my college life is coming to an end, studies don’t take up too much of the pressure, its what you do with them is.

So I sat down to stitch the button. And while I know next to nothing about stitching I did it. Like I everything else I overdid it. There was so many layers of thread interwoven by the time I’m done on the small poor little button that it couldn’t rotate and the thread was stuck halfway. Like everything else, I did it with a focus and concentration that even three buttons exhausted me(procrastinator!)

image
The over stitched button

But as I did that, I realized I love working. Not a single stray thought ran across my mind. No distractions, just me and the needle and the holes in the button. Though I was clumsy as hell, I kept losing the needle every time I kept it so I could cut the thread, I enjoyed stitching.

With my dad proudly proclaiming that his son has finally grown up (all it took was one button!), I finished the work I have been putting off for a few days. And this small work was what I had needed to get my resolve back.

I still have no clue about what to do next. I still have the same problems but maybe all I need to do now is start working. Stop thinking.

Thanks For Reading
Itsmayurremember

Laughter!


This one is special. It is very close to my heart and I felt like writing about it for a while.

Laughter. It is contagious, spontaneous and very much precious. Ever heard a baby laugh? In no time almost everyone looking at the baby starts laughing, the joy spreads across like water.

If you know me and have heard my laugh, you will agree with this, I laugh like a maniac. Total and absolute maniac. I laugh with my feet bouncing off the floor, my arms making some unintelligible symbols in the air before clenching my stomach because its paining from laughter.

I am one of the few people who can laugh at anything and everything till tears swell out of my eyes. And I’m extremely proud of that.

How many people do you know who could look at something and make an insane joke and start howling in laugh? The answer is none. Well some can, but none like me. I have damaged my bed when I’m literally ROFL, I have broken my chair and made my dog more scared of my laughter than something really scary, like bathing. Yeah!

I laugh like crazy when we watch a show on weekends, and my parents proudly claim that any comic show is not funny without me. And I’m pretty sure that most jokes get funny because of maniacs like me. Well you are welcome!

Then I look around people. People who grew up from being children themselves. Who somewhere in their lives stopped laughing. They now laugh properly, decently(ugh) even. People with their constant attempts to be cool. And I pity them.

I dare you, next time you hear a joke that starts a giggle in your throat, just laugh. Laugh like me, leave your limbs free and let the magic(yeah!) take you over. By the time you are done laughing, your stomach will be aching, you will feel hungry and your bladder will be bursting. And tears will be shed, proving that your eyes still work.

And you will be revitalized.

My laugh is probably the only thing that has not changed. It is there from my childhood and I intend to keep it alive this way. Unadulterated and unbiased.

But, alas not all good things last forever. Now my laughter is becoming strained. When confronted with questions without any seemingly correct answer, question like what do I want to do with my life? How do I make people believe in my when I have doubts? Then there are two options. Cry like a baby, or laugh like a baby.

And I laugh, because crying makes me look weaker. I laugh and I notice hysteria slowly creeping in. I realize what had happened to others and why they have difficulty laughing like I do. Reality came crashing in. And confrontation scattered will. Madness and sadness were only discernible.

And I’m staggered by the question: Will I end up like those who have forgotten how to laugh?

My answer is maniacal laughter. Because the alternative is too terrifying.

Thanks For Reading
Itsmayurremember

Words….


( ( Calling Uncle Bob

Have you ever faced a difficult situation when you had to choose between sorting it out yourself, or asking someone else for an easy fix? What did you choose — and would you make the same choice today?))

As I sat preparing for my exams my dog Jimmy decided that was the best time for him not to sleep.

Though he was supine right in the middle of the bed he was someway irritated and looking to chew something, maybe trying to grab air and chew it. This has happened many a times before and like always I gave him my hand so he could chew.

He doesn’t bite, just takes my hand inside his mouth and keeps it there. And after a while he sleeps, mostly with my hand still in his mouth, me feeling as a small dog chew toy. This time I had to scratch his head.

So with one hand tracing the textbook lines, other kept scratching and petting jimmy. Whenever I stopped scratching he would wake up and look with those big brown irises asking me why I stopped.

So this went on for half an hour, me scratching and studying. And when I stopped he was still asleep, dreaming of chicken and bones and everything favourite.

Makes you wonder what he would have said if he could have. Like somewhere along the lines of ‘Hey I have an itch to scratch, on my head. Help’ Or something else entirely.

It is thought inducing how him without saying a word or making a sound could convey what he wants. And how simple is it for him. Life’s big questions for him would be where to sleep now or what’s mummy making.

No words. No complexity.

Words. I always had a problem with them. I could never put them together, make them jell. Make the listener completely comprehend the kernel of what I intend to say.

And then I started blogging.

It is freedom.

I can write anything I want, how I want. Completely independent of who reads it and what they will think. Freedom which you will not attain outside the webpage where conversations cut short your thoughts, and sociality and mannerisms hamper you.

It is honesty.

Honesty that is interpreted as a fake in real life simply because no one can be that honest.

Every single one of the seventy something posts is me. Me, unfiltered and complete. People liked my thoughts and words, praised them. Writing became the sole way for me to express myself. I wrote to say sorry, wrote to say thank you and wrote for everything I could write on.

And I forgot that blogging ends with the website. That as soon as I click publish I have to attenuate myself for this world.

My honesty in real life spurned loose, and transpired to shamelessness. My freedom is now what I take forcefully. In complete disregard to others around me.

I forgot that blogging and real life is never the same. One of them is a page to write some four hundred words, other is more than just words. It is life. I got carried away.

I said things that have repercussions beyond my control. And now I realize that while my blog posts are me, I am more than those one paged posts. While I get followers and likes on blog for my thoughts, in my life thoughts are just a small role to play. My actions speak louder.

So here I am maybe taking an oath. I’ll change. Keep my freedom and honesty to my blog. But somehow finding a correct balance in life. Because I should.

Because I got carried away

Jimmy has it so easy.

Thanks For Reading
Itsmayurremember

Let’s see what others have written:
http://tombalistreri.wordpress.com/2014/11/25/short-reply/
http://unbolt.wordpress.com/2014/08/29/i-was-walking-too-fast/
http://thecrookedmind.wordpress.com/2014/11/25/daily-prompt/
http://lindaswritingblog.wordpress.com/2014/11/25/miss-independence/
http://vexingpoint.wordpress.com/2014/11/25/daily-prompt-calling-uncle-bob/
http://dragoneystory.wordpress.com/2014/11/25/dp-uncle-bob-o-o/
At the end of the day there is no sorting hat: But Love and a greater good shall guide me
http://movingtowardsthelight.com/2014/11/25/convent-chicks-rock/
http://shesrambling.com/2014/11/25/uncle-bobby-contacting-my-dad/
http://notalentforcertainty.com/2014/11/25/aunt-diane/
http://kretschmannland.wordpress.com/2014/11/25/speaking-for-yourself/
http://littlemanofthehouse.wordpress.com/2014/11/25/i-can-do-it-myself/
http://thatsmyanswer.com/2014/11/25/daily-prompt-from-wordpress-easy-fix/
http://kindlingword.com/2014/05/28/scar-gazing/
http://yzhengblog.wordpress.com/2014/11/25/the-toughest-decision-of-a-lifetime/
http://509majesty.wordpress.com/2014/11/25/sword-of-damocles-borrowing-money/
Pushing It Hard, Why wait for Uncle Bob?
http://namelessspaces.wordpress.com/2014/11/25/band-aid/
http://parkinkspot.wordpress.com/2014/11/25/calling-dr-bombay-emergency-come-right-away/
http://pinoyteacherabroad.wordpress.com/2014/11/25/when-times-get-tough/
http://oh3za.com/2014/11/25/calling-uncle-bob/
http://quotidianrevisions.wordpress.com/2014/11/25/forget-uncle-bob-call-momma-2/
http://ungiornonellavita.com/2014/11/25/daily-prompt-calling-uncle-bob/
http://marthakennedy.wordpress.com/2014/11/25/vito-i-tole-you/
http://livingonchi.wordpress.com/2014/11/25/daily-prompt-uncle-bob-is-a-sweetheart/
http://www.kansamuse.com/2014/11/when-life-gives-you-too-many-choices/

Ask and you shall receive


http://lifeisgreat0.com/2014/11/25/the-note/
UNCLE WHO?
Daily Prompt: Calling Uncle Bob – and Uncle Jim, Uncle Harry and Uncle Arthur
http://jfirefox10031974.wordpress.com/2014/11/25/hindsight/
Uncle Bob by Default, It’s Me
http://ripplesnreflectiontimes.wordpress.com/2014/11/15/achievement-weekly-photo-challenge/
http://shazzameena.wordpress.com/2014/11/25/in-need-of-soup-and-diplomacy-with-marcella-79-80-of-466/
http://tokillamimingbird.wordpress.com/2014/11/25/freshie-memories/

Be a role model like


http://lordofsick.wordpress.com/2014/11/25/called-god-in-difficult-situation-and-he-helped/
http://djgarcia94.wordpress.com/2014/11/25/bibleman/
http://tokillamimingbird.wordpress.com/2014/11/25/proverbial/
http://traversinglines.wordpress.com/2014/11/25/id-gladly-let-you-know/
http://ripplesnreflectiontimes.wordpress.com/2014/11/25/1005/
Calling Uncle Bob: Unfix easy
Duck, Duck, Use
http://nelkumi.wordpress.com/2014/11/25/who-do-i-call/
http://mjamesjackson.wordpress.com/2014/11/25/my-uncle-bob-is-too-far-away/
http://fibercompulsion.com/2014/11/25/uh-did-i-say-that/
http://warriorfreya.wordpress.com/2014/11/25/post-0063-daily-prompt-calling-uncle-bob/
http://plaridel.wordpress.com/2009/05/31/long-lost-relative-found/

What Does It Mean to Amplify?


http://emotionalfitnesstraining.com/2014/11/25/how-to-overcome-perfectionism/
http://dragoneystory.wordpress.com/2014/11/25/random-thought-to-todays-prompt/
http://psibrone.wordpress.com/2014/11/25/help/
http://myleviathan.wordpress.com/2014/11/25/calling-uncle-bob/
http://sincerelyloewe.wordpress.com/2014/11/25/part-xv-the-boy-with-the-golden-feathers/
http://thegadabouttown.wordpress.com/2014/11/25/gratitude-week/
http://willowscottling.wordpress.com/2014/11/25/bobs-your-uncle/
http://whenmybrainfarts.wordpress.com/2014/11/25/i-tried-i-didnt-quite-conquer/
http://pigeoneyeball.wordpress.com/2014/11/25/uncle-bob-no-one-of-that-name-lives-here-sir/
http://tylershepard1991.wordpress.com/2014/11/25/asking-for-help-vs-asking-for-advice/
http://juliepowell2014.wordpress.com/2014/11/26/standing-on-my-own-two-feet/
http://jackiesworldtravel.com/2014/11/25/cesky-krumlov/
http://rojo1990dotcom.wordpress.com/2014/11/25/a-little-bit-of-help-please/
http://strikeforceshooting.wordpress.com/2014/11/26/sucking-it-up-and-drive-on/

Inside My Head


Fiction:

image

There were three brothers once:
Let’s call them Good, Bad and Third.

Good wanted everything to be perfect. He wanted to be the person who takes care of others, who is the perfect son, the perfect Friend.

He could not see others in misery, their pain weakened his knees. He couldn’t imagine a world with sorrow and suffering. All he ever wanted to was to bring smile to everyone’s face.

And he had to fight to do that, and what was worse: He had to fight his brother Bad.

Bad hated the world. He wanted to inflict pain on others. Make fun of them. Bully them. And every blow given to Good only made Bad more heinous. He just wanted to make the world burn.

He hated God, for he hated himself too. He hated his brothers but he hated someone else hurting them more. Whimsical and tyrannical, he sought to make sure that when he gained control of world, he would remember everyone who brought him to his knees would suffer.

And so fought the two brothers. Again and again. Good crying over fighting his brother, Bad laughing in self hatred.

But where was the Third?

Third sat on the throne. His cavalier manner, indulgence and negligence exacerbated everything. After all, Third decoded to sit on the throne only till either of the two brothers become victorious just so he could be on his way.

This is how it has always been: Good and Bad fighting through all eternity, while Third sat idle. And under his, world rejoiced in freedoms, and under his world burned.

Thanks For Reading
Itsmayurremember

Loss


( By Heart

You’re asked to recite a poem (or song lyrics) from memory — what’s the first one that comes to mind? Does it have a special meaning, or is there another reason it has stayed, intact, in your mind?)

Yes, I understand that every life must end, aw-huh,..
As we sit alone, I know someday we must go, aw-huh,..
Oh I’m a lucky man, to count on both hands
the ones I love,..

Some folks just got one,
yeah, others, they got none,

The song is Just Breathe by my favorite band Pearl Jam. While watching a TV show once I heard this song for the first time, and I absolutely loved it. I still have this song in my phone, and the line from the song always touched a cord. Always.

After I heard the song I did the same, I counted the ones I love and care about. Counted the ones who I think love and care about me. And as ashamed as I am to admit it, I never count family. They are bound to love and care, they have always done so. So in conclusion I could never reach four fingers.

I cared about so many people, yet I never felt that the feeling is mutual.

I feel alone. In crowds. In the seclusion of home. I am not ashamed to admit it. Everyone feels the same, everyone is looking for something in their lives. So am I.

And now more than ever. When everything is golden and blissful, at those times the ephemeral feeling of accomplishment, the feeling of not being alone even for a small time lifts you up. When surrounded by people who laugh with you, eat with you. But when things turn sour, the people disappear with the wind.

When someone who I got really got attached to decided to walk out, I had to reevaluate my life. With the anger of  feeling of being discarded as thrash, the mourning and the selfish sadist urge to hurt back, I realized that maybe I am doing things wrong.

Maybe I expect people to be like me. To live their lives by my ideals. To fill in the picture that I painted for my perfect life. And that, even for all my nice intentions, is really the most selfish I could be. And I never realized it.

I cannot even live up to my ideals, how could I expect others to do so? And how could I expect them to know answers to questions that I should know.

The only person who can help me is me. About time I realize this. Only I can decode my life. No one else can decide which master’s am I supposed to pursue, or how to manage the abrupt stress of college work.

I have a direction, and I intend to improve myself down the path just opened.

To the friend who decided to walk out, I want to stay angry. I want to hurt you, even for small measure of pleasure I could get. But I know it is not going to help me. Your decision to end things, so be it. No more heated words exchanged, no more shouting in front of others. And I hope that when you decide to talk again, I’ll have lower expectancy. And I’ll be better. And I hope the same be said for you too.

Thanks For Reading
Itsmayurremember

Holidays!!


They are a benedictions and yet most often a malediction. And expectation come hand in hand with them.

If you have read my previous posts you will know that I absolutely abhor expectations. In fact I’m irreversibly marred by them. The tyranny of expectations breathe down the neck when holidays are descried in the horizon and I know, I have a gut feeling that they will end in tears and heartbreak.

It is like one is not complete without the other. And if I may, it is like they are fraught with sadness. Like expecting a heavenly time and getting, kind of hell. It seems a bad conclusion of Newton’s second law of motion.

Holidays for me are simple: watch movies, read books and eat and sleep. I don’t want to shop, roam pointlessly, just relax. After all I deserve it, working and traveling so much is grudging and I need some time off.

But a upcoming family holiday changes the dynamics. Everyone has expectations and abashed as I am to admit it, no one wants their perceived version of holidays to shatter. Father wants to do something, Mother wants to do something else. Brother, for the matter, just swings with the flow and is ready for every plan.

Unfortunately, not a single one of their plans is compatible with the other. And all of their ideas are resolute without any scope for compromise. Hence the tears and heartbreaks.

So my holidays are an anticlimax. With a heightened enthusiasm at the onset, disappointment comes at the end. And with each person the way to express this disappointment differs. And at the end no one is happy and praying that no such holiday comes again.

Such a scene in a few days of reprieve has been repeated so many times that even if I try, I cannot possibly come up with something new to say or do to lighten the mood. I don’t like the dolorous ambience at home but what can I do?

So when at times of Diwali(Reason for holidays, most auspicious festival in Hindus) when everything is expected to be beatific, nothing really is.

But the holidays this time had a special moment too. See on the first day of the three day family holiday, we all had breakfast. Now we never do that.

With my college, my brother’s and parent’s job schedules we never have viands at the same time. Never.

This time we did. Only once in the three days but we did. And we laughed and talked. All of us sitting in that table together and eating and sharing stories. No sadness, no tension. And to make things better even my dog came along to eat. Yeah, he completed the family picture at that time.

If we all weren’t so disheveled and somnolent I would have clicked a picture. I can’t even believe that the best time was then, when no one was wearing newly brought clothes, no expensive food or sweets. Just tea and some breakfast. And it was perfect.

I later said that after how much time did we all eat together, that now my Diwali is now complete. I probably jinxed the mood.

I hope that in a couple of days or months when I look back I only remember that morning and not the subsequent days. Because that morning was special. What followed was like a over repeated commercial that you are fed up with.

Thanks For Reading
Itsmayurremember

(Lack of) Equality


( Unequal Terms

Did you know today is Blog Action Day? Join bloggers from around the world and write a post about what inequality means to you. Have you ever encountered it in your daily life?

(Don’t forget to tag your post with “Inequality” — or #inequality on Twitter — so that other participants might find it.))

Recently I was accused of being libidinous and lacking any sense of propriety and mannerisms when talking to women in general. Though insulting in every sense possible, I concede that the accusation may hold some merit.

Most of my jibes do run along some lines which women in general may take as insolences, they forget to notice some mannerisms that guide me. And if I may, I’ll probably say that it is the women who accuse me of imprudence are in fact using gender as an excuse to protect themselves from my pokes.

After all it is the same girl who would not think a second before poking my patience. Where does the shield of ‘Being A Girl’ disappear then? And where does the equality lie?

I hate it, when girls(Not going to call them women for their immaturity) decide to use their gender as a means to win argument. More often than not, I have heard them say ‘I am a women and you will talk this way to me?!’ Or something of that order. But that same girl wouldn’t hesitate a second before crossing the same metaphorical lines for another person. So why use their gender to hide behind, when you can very well use individuality as a means to win an argument.

In short what I mean is that (some) girls more often than not think that they can get away with anything uttered or done simply because of their gender. But their same ideology vanishes into smoke when they should practice it.

The apparent hypocrisy of these individuals and their claims of being morally and ethically sound are what infuriates me. And then they decide that they are the perfect judges of your character.

How many times have you encountered a girl(or a guy) who wouldn’t give a second’s thought before that person starts bitching? And you could bet that the next sentence uttered will be along the lines of ‘I don’t like bitching, I’m not her’

It is asinine to be advocate of feminism and yet not understand that it encumbers no special preference to being a female.

I am not against the idea that certain reverence has to be given to females. Not because of their gender but because of their circumstances.

I should curb my ranting for now, I won’t be able to stop. After all I son want good amount of views and feedback on my post.

The very concept of equality is ideal at best. There couldn’t be equality among the gender because its prevalent to have chivalry and mannerism specific to a gender. And that is just the beneficial aspects of inequality. For women of course.

I treat people equally. Regardless of your gender or your sexual orientation you could expect me to.
treat you like I treat everyone else(I pass verbal jibes and pokes at everyone). There is your equality and that is possibly the best you could get from me.

Your gender doesn’t define you, its your abilities and choices that do. So possibly stop hiding behind the Being A Woman remark and face the world for what it is. Its hard, and it has nothing to do with you being a woman. We live in twenty first century, and in urban areas of Mumbai. You are not going to find any better place for gender equality in India(I think so).

FYI post is directed at a certain generic girls, not at females in general. I have had the pleasure of having great friends who are as open minded as they can get.

Thanks For Reading
Itsmayurremember

Let’s see what others have written:
http://tuckedintoacorner.wordpress.com/2014/10/16/inequality/
http://abozdar.wordpress.com/2014/10/15/cries-of-the-first-trillionaire-of-the-lost-planet/
http://abozdar.wordpress.com/2014/10/15/purity/
Unequal Terms: Inequality
Unequal Terms – The Daily Post.
Unequal Terms
http://guthonestfaith.wordpress.com/2014/10/16/brilliant/
http://tombalistreri.wordpress.com/2014/10/16/unequal-thanks/
http://agirllikemee.wordpress.com/2014/10/16/not-at-par-with-each-other/
Equality
http://lindaswritingblog.wordpress.com/2014/10/16/equality/
http://designersophisticate.wordpress.com/2014/10/16/no-one-can-make-you-feel-inferior-without-your-consent-eleanor-roosevelt/
http://starfor52.wordpress.com/2014/10/16/inequality-blog-action-day/
http://youaintspecial.wordpress.com/2014/10/16/nope-never/
http://suestrifles.wordpress.com/2014/10/16/blog-action-day-2014-mental-vs-physical-health/
http://beartales.me/2014/10/16/unequal-terms/
http://charlafarmington.wordpress.com/2014/10/16/inequality/
http://sayadpoet.wordpress.com/2014/10/16/inequality/
http://grieflessons.wordpress.com/2014/10/16/so-what-am-i-chopped-liver/
http://namelessspaces.wordpress.com/2014/10/16/woman-to-woman/
tantalising
http://marthakennedy.wordpress.com/2014/10/16/inequality-is-the-law-of-nature/
http://hoangmkvu.wordpress.com/2014/10/16/unequal-ground/

Unequal Terms


http://oh3za.com/2014/10/16/unequal-terms/
http://fibercompulsion.com/2014/10/16/inequality/
http://theyyouandme.wordpress.com/2014/10/15/feminism-or-sexism/
http://fcmiller3.wordpress.com/2014/10/16/inequality/
Life is not fair, but it need not be filled with inequality
http://randomactsofsnark.wordpress.com/2014/10/16/unequal-terms/
http://joantatley.wordpress.com/2014/10/16/my-two-cents/
http://alotfromlydia.wordpress.com/2014/03/24/work-is-a-four-letter-word/
FAR FROM EQUAL
http://katherinewebber.wordpress.com/2014/10/16/unequal-terms/
http://thewindroseblog.wordpress.com/2014/10/16/daily-prompt/
http://anupturnedsoul.wordpress.com/2014/10/16/connecting-the-dots-some-thoughts-on-criticism-empathy-blogging-and-being-human/
http://liveoutloudandproud.wordpress.com/2014/10/16/lifes-not-fair/
http://noemptywords.net/2014/10/16/the-layers-of-inequality/
http://alotfromlydia.wordpress.com/2014/10/16/the-haves-and-have-nots/
http://www.prayersandpromises.org/7-reasons-to-let-go/
http://raspberrydaydreams.wordpress.com/2014/10/16/inequality/
Daily Prompt: Unequal Terms – That’s life unfortunately.
http://deepmarvel.wordpress.com/2014/10/16/conscription/
http://carlosxcunha.wordpress.com/2014/10/16/my-neighbor-wants-me-in-prison-because-i-hate-coons/
http://mojowritin.wordpress.com/2014/10/16/the-deepest-hours-part-two/
http://scienceinpolitics.com/2014/10/16/misallocated-billions/
http://ajustmanishardtofind.com/2014/10/16/man-in-the-mirror/
http://vexingpoint.wordpress.com/2014/10/16/daily-prompt-unequal-terms/
http://unravel286.wordpress.com/2014/10/16/the-daily-prompt-3/
http://lifeisgreat0.wordpress.com/2014/10/16/unequal-terms/
http://randomscores.wordpress.com/2014/10/16/unequal-terms/
http://apparentlyanna.wordpress.com/2014/10/16/blog-action-day-why-i-fight-inequality/
http://yzhengblog.wordpress.com/2014/10/16/unequal-opportunity-employer/
http://vagariousvoyage.wordpress.com/2014/10/16/insult-with-a-smile/
http://losingmyreliginity.com/2014/10/13/marriage-equality/
http://notapunkrocker.wordpress.com/2014/10/16/give-it-time/
http://aliceandeve.wordpress.com/2014/10/16/unequal-perspective-privilege/
http://secretmuhajaba.wordpress.com/2014/10/16/unequal-terms/
http://flowersandbreezes.wordpress.com/2014/10/16/unequal-terms/
http://l5gn.wordpress.com/2014/10/16/butch-geek/
http://girlinagameworld.wordpress.com/2014/10/16/inequality-in-the-gaming-world-sucks/
http://foreignforeigner.wordpress.com/2014/10/16/equally-yoked-as-humans/
http://risingrave28.wordpress.com/2014/10/16/on-inequality-and-social-mobility-short-notes/
http://carolinethroup.wordpress.com/2014/10/16/every-child-matters/
http://pippakinclawz.wordpress.com/2014/10/16/daily-post-blog-action-day/
http://insach21site.wordpress.com/2014/10/16/unequal-terms/
http://megselizabeth86.wordpress.com/2014/10/16/you-are-not-entitled/
http://whenmybrainfarts.wordpress.com/2014/10/16/i-didnt-ask-for-this/
http://ambikarani.wordpress.com/2014/10/16/unequal-terms/
http://bbnest.wordpress.com/2014/10/16/equality-isnt-fair/
http://imanikingblog.wordpress.com/2014/10/16/inequality/
The Importance of Educating Girls
http://terriwebsterschrandt.wordpress.com/2014/10/16/the-inequality-of-leaning-out/
http://yellowstonewords.wordpress.com/2014/10/16/gray-wolf-talks-inequality/
http://macbofisbil.com/2014/10/16/in-a-prison/
http://cartervail.wordpress.com/2014/10/16/inequality/
http://thegadabouttown.wordpress.com/2014/10/16/inequality-for-no-one/
http://ungiornonellavita.com/2014/10/16/what-does-ocd-mean-to-me/
What Inequality Has Meant to Me
http://moosha23.wordpress.com/2014/10/16/unequal-terms/
My Perception
http://www.pghlesbian.com/2014/10/pa-state-house-candidate-throws-down-the-anti-trans-card/
http://thescaredone.wordpress.com/2014/10/16/77/
http://impossiblebebong.wordpress.com/2014/10/16/you-talkin-to-me/
http://normashilpi.wordpress.com/2014/10/16/treated-with-cucumber/
http://redswrap.wordpress.com/2014/10/16/the-reflex-of-deference/
http://emo1956.wordpress.com/2014/10/16/inequality-and-the-state-pension-a-personal-view/
http://kosheradobo.com/2014/07/29/colorism-in-the-philippines-youre-not-white-enough/
http://allthingscuteandbeautiful.wordpress.com/2014/10/16/daily-prompt-being-inequal/
http://livelovelaughdancepray.wordpress.com/2014/10/16/unequal-terms-the-daily-post-inequality/
http://endeavoury.wordpress.com/2014/10/16/unequal-terms/
http://tidlidim.wordpress.com/2014/10/16/daily-prompt-unequal-terms/
http://joatmon14.com/2014/10/16/perspective-of-inequality/
http://biancapaigesmith.com/2014/10/16/who-says-you-cant-do-that/

What About Me?


http://clairecrowe.com/2014/10/16/inequality-when-the-guys-get-all-puffy/
http://wtfaioa.wordpress.com/2014/10/16/443/
http://finaletoanentrance.wordpress.com/2014/10/16/unequal/
http://livinglearningandlettinggo.wordpress.com/2014/10/16/experiences-of-inequality/
http://spadethought.wordpress.com/2014/10/16/we-deserve-equality/
http://slimcrescentmoon.wordpress.com/2014/10/16/shout-if-you-have-to
http://barbarapyett.wordpress.com/2014/10/17/httpdailypost-wordpress-comdp_promptunequal-terms/
http://kaoutarchahbane.wordpress.com/2014/10/16/inequality-can-we-stop-it/
http://chasinglifeandfindingdreams.wordpress.com/2014/10/16/inequality-hits-us-all-even-if-you-dont-realize-it/
http://maggiecarlise.wordpress.com/2014/10/16/unequal-terms/
http://conqueringanthropophobia.wordpress.com/2014/10/17/the-equality-complex/
http://www.deliberatingdave.com/created-equal/
http://jaynesdailypost.wordpress.com/2014/10/16/unequal-terms/
My Suffragist Grandmother
http://basicallybeyondbasic.com/2014/10/16/daily-prompt-unequal-terms/
http://1874firstimpressionistexhibition.wordpress.com/2014/10/17/unequal-terms/
http://caliten.wordpress.com/2014/10/16/brony/
http://thejournalofabeautifulmind.wordpress.com/2014/10/17/different-yes-its-one-of-my-assets-daily-prompt/
http://focalbreeze.wordpress.com/2014/10/17/wont-back-down/
http://grrrrrrl.wordpress.com/2014/10/16/notes-on-inequality/
http://testmecards.wordpress.com/2014/10/17/blog-action-day-2014-inequality/
http://ritalnielsen.com/mind-the-gap/

Transiting


( In Transit

Train stations, airport terminals, subway stops: soulless spaces full of distracted, stressed zombies, or magical sets for fleeting, interlocking human stories?)

This post can be taken as a continuation of an earlier post about the train travel experience.

Almost three and a half years of travels via trains,  which could be summed up to about four hours a day. That’s a lot.

When I started my college, everyone said that college is too far,  which they are right,  and I politely replied ‘You get used to the travels.’ You do get used to it,  the train journey becoming an integral part of everyday life. Leaving college according to the train timing and waiting at the edge of station straining to get a glimpse of imminent train. 

Mumbai Local Trains. They make your life.

But my post isn’t about the trains. It’s related to what happened in 2006. (For full story read here and here)

image
File photo of the blast. Image courtesy : http://www.outlookindia.com/article/Forking-Paths-Of-Faith/235136

Those terror attacks changed everything. I mean everything. I admit,  from the first day of my college my parents told me to call them when I reach college.  That habit grew old and I stopped it. But it doesn’t change anything.

Those attacks killed common people,  commuters like me.  Maybe they were returning from jobs or from college and they never reached home. And ever since trains are no longer completely trusted.

Authorities did what they could,  and stations still have metal detectors and emergency ambulances standing by and countless measures were taken but the fear is still there.

When I travel there comes a time when I suddenly notice a rather normal looking Bag. Completely ordinary yet it grabs my attention. And I take eschew glances till someone picks the bag up and departs the train. I sigh in relief,  guilty for mentally accusing a person’s innocuous bag as a means of terror and death.

And I’m not alone in this. I have seen people who form groups and sing pious lauds but are very cautious about the luggage. Every bag that seems to be left out is called out. Mostly at Dadar where the trains halts,  commuters calls for the owners of the bag.

The fear is now ingrained. Every train journey there is a nagging sensation that something can go wrong. And the thought scares me.
At that time people who died, were grievously injured were unaware. And now the vigilance in the trains, portrayed by everyone is some assurance.

Everything else in the trains, like fights and cussing,  the rush to grab a window seat or even the stupid couples standing near the door when the train is empty seems natural. Seems a part of the routine.

But the dread of a mishap is not. Don’t get me wrong,  being wary and vigilant is our responsibility. And I will do the same whenever I travel.

And this is what travel is. A promiscuous mixture of kindness, anxiousness and apprehension.

The four hours of life.

Let’s see what others have written :

no parking
http://randomactsofsnark.wordpress.com/2014/10/07/in-transit/
http://lewellynhughes.wordpress.com/2014/10/07/traveling-with-strangers/
http://alightningbug.wordpress.com/2014/10/07/life-in-transit/
http://aerretha.wordpress.com/2014/10/07/oh-joy/
http://quotosphere.wordpress.com/2014/10/07/363/
http://betterbloggingat.wordpress.com/2014/10/07/in-transit/
http://privyperspective.wordpress.com/2014/10/07/on-fainting-in-a-train-station/
http://musingsfrommyid.wordpress.com/2014/10/07/in-transit/
http://ripplesnreflectiontimes.wordpress.com/2014/10/07/in-transit/
http://notstargirl.wordpress.com/2014/10/07/noisy-thoughts-on-a-train-station/
http://thedarkerandshadier.wordpress.com/2014/10/07/last-train-to-home/
http://debrabooks.wordpress.com/2014/10/06/at-the-gare-st-charles-in-marseilles-france/
http://macbofisbil.com/2014/10/07/airport-panic/
http://grieflessons.wordpress.com/2014/10/06/3576/
http://geletilari.wordpress.com/2014/10/06/rush-hour/
http://conqueringanthropophobia.wordpress.com/2014/10/07/beyond-the-subway-tracks/
http://myauthoritis.wordpress.com/2014/10/06/terminal-illness/
A Yellow Tale: part ii
http://20000milesandcounting.wordpress.com/2014/10/06/daily-prompt/
http://thejournalofabeautifulmind.wordpress.com/2014/10/07/in-transit-daily-prompt/
http://jaynesdailypost.wordpress.com/2014/10/06/in-transit/
http://thelarksroost.wordpress.com/2014/10/06/132/
My Secret Thoughts!

Support the GLCC During National Coming Out Week


http://positivatude.wordpress.com/2014/10/07/love-actually-is-all-around/
http://wileyschmidt.com/2014/10/06/everything-in-transit/
http://dailymusing57.wordpress.com/2014/10/06/in-transit-daily-prompt/
http://eastelmhurstagogo.wordpress.com/2014/10/06/1296/
http://fcmiller3.wordpress.com/2014/10/06/train-stops/
http://pigeoneyeball.wordpress.com/2014/10/06/in-transit/
http://ungiornonellavita.com/2014/10/06/daily-prompt-in-transit/
http://spadethought.wordpress.com/2014/10/06/transportation/
http://ledrakenoir.wordpress.com/2014/10/06/hello-goodbye/
http://jayhouse.wordpress.com/2014/10/06/train-of-thought/
http://corinthialynne.wordpress.com/2014/10/06/the-daily-post-in-transit/
http://djgarcia94.wordpress.com/2014/10/06/crossed-paths/
http://tidlidim.wordpress.com/2014/10/06/daily-prompt-in-transit/

Moving People


http://worldwidesoulmate.wordpress.com/2014/10/07/writing-101-lost-and-found-forget-me-not-2/
http://camembertandchocolate.wordpress.com/2014/10/06/canned-sardines/
http://thegadabouttown.wordpress.com/2014/10/06/sick-transit-gloria-on-a-monday/
http://traversinglines.wordpress.com/2014/10/06/i-am-just-another-zombie-til-you-said-hello/
http://colourunabridged.wordpress.com/2014/10/06/accidentally-sincerely-yours-2/
http://mojowritin.wordpress.com/2014/10/06/connect/
http://melearningoutloud.com/2014/10/06/disney-princess-philosophy/
http://msbstories.wordpress.com/2014/10/06/eternal-terminal-airport-to-the-afterlife/
http://waywordness.wordpress.com/2014/10/06/silent-movies/
http://alotfromlydia.wordpress.com/2014/10/06/okay-i-know/
http://grieflessons.wordpress.com/2014/10/06/hard-transit/
http://moosha23.wordpress.com/2014/10/06/in-transit/
http://philosaic.wordpress.com/2014/10/06/transition/
http://steve-says.net/2014/10/06/id-never-had-one-that-big-before/
http://yzhengblog.wordpress.com/2014/10/06/train-rides/
http://petrd1.wordpress.com/2014/10/06/a-tale-of-two-bus-stops/
http://bobbeck1600.wordpress.com/2014/10/06/daily-prompt-in-transit/
http://emotionalfitnesstraining.com/2014/10/06/how-to-get-more-emotionally-fit-an-online-course/
http://ajustmanishardtofind.com/2014/10/06/eau-de-new-york/
http://unravel286.wordpress.com/2014/10/06/the-daily-post-2/
http://flowersandbreezes.wordpress.com/2014/10/06/in-transit/
http://oartheboat.wordpress.com/2014/10/06/an-airport-is/
http://psibrone.wordpress.com/2014/10/06/the-world-moves-on/
http://katespencer17.wordpress.com/2014/10/06/heartprints/
http://emo1956.wordpress.com/2014/10/06/in-transit-in-a-transit-van-why-do-these-things-always-happen-to-me/
http://lifeisgreat0.wordpress.com/2014/10/06/running-fast/
http://worddisorder.wordpress.com/2014/10/06/inspiration-comes-in-many-different-places/
http://vid00shak.wordpress.com/2014/10/06/joy-of-giving-in-a-metro/
http://jaysiphonesnaps.wordpress.com/2014/10/06/somewhere-to-be/
http://cartervail.wordpress.com/2014/10/06/daily-prompt-crossing-paths/
http://rustyiam.wordpress.com/2014/10/06/transiticity/
http://greenlegs7.wordpress.com/2014/09/21/a-sea-of-asters/
World’s Best Teleportation Device

http://jaysnaps.wordpress.com/2014/10/06/most-transitatious/
http://stuffenonsense.wordpress.com/2014/10/06/in-transit/
http://alisha3cats.wordpress.com/2014/10/06/stuff-to-do-when-youre-bored-on-the-subway/
http://joatmon14.com/2014/08/04/this-time/
http://oh3za.com/2014/10/06/in-transit/
Hanging out at the train station
http://theodorazheng.wordpress.com/2014/10/06/in-transit-throwback-monday/
http://jenbrunett.wordpress.com/2014/10/06/morning-state-of-mind/
http://pippakinclawz.wordpress.com/2014/10/06/daily-post-in-transit/
http://threepsandq.wordpress.com/2014/10/06/prompt-in-transit/
http://anupturnedsoul.wordpress.com/2014/10/06/a-very-knotty-problem/
http://sweattearsanddigitalink.com/2014/06/08/snippet-sunday-8614/
Daily Prompt: In Transit – in Switzerland
http://avatarofmrbean.wordpress.com/2014/10/06/ps-woes-with-customs-lest-he-forgets/
http://shawnwingsit.com/transit-ever-ridden-nyc-subway/
http://underthemonkeytree.com/2014/10/06/does-moving-count/
http://allthingscuteandbeautiful.wordpress.com/2014/10/06/daily-prompt-being-magical-3/
http://marthakennedy.wordpress.com/2014/10/06/waiting/
http://kindlingword.com/2014/06/04/the-days-of-our-lives/
http://trablogger.wordpress.com/2014/10/06/my-love-affair-with-indian-railway/
http://youaintspecial.wordpress.com/2014/10/06/the-other-other-other-white-meat/
http://mydecadelongtravels.wordpress.com/2014/10/06/the-joys-of-traveling-and-racial-profiling/
UP THE MOUNTAIN
http://aliceandeve.wordpress.com/2014/10/06/a-story-in-each-face/
http://lifeconfusions.wordpress.com/2014/10/06/rails-and-ties/
http://rsativus.wordpress.com/2014/10/06/instant-friendship/
http://alotfromlydia.wordpress.com/2014/10/06/the-mta/
http://ettemeyer.wordpress.com/2014/10/06/in-transit-poem/
http://lifeassirli.wordpress.com/2014/10/06/train-station/
http://laughagain.wordpress.com/2014/10/06/zombies-dont-eat-breakfast/
http://charlafarmington.wordpress.com/2014/10/06/in-transit/
FUN IN TRAIN, SOULFULLY YOURS
And I was No Where at All #microfiction #travel #dpchallenge
http://lindaswritingblog.wordpress.com/2014/10/06/people-watcher/
http://suejutakeshi.wordpress.com/2014/10/06/end-station/
http://movingtowardsthelight.com/2014/10/06/angel-at-the-ferry/
http://mycurvyattitude.wordpress.com/2014/10/06/in-transit/
http://geekergosum.com/2014/10/06/in-transit-the-hell-of-other-commuters/
dreams
http://tnkerr.wordpress.com/2014/10/06/daily-prompt-in-transit/
http://agirllikemee.wordpress.com/2014/10/06/another-life-on-another-side/
http://designersophisticate.wordpress.com/2014/10/06/too-many-people/
http://sayadpoet.wordpress.com/2014/10/06/wisp-of-dream-daily-prompt/
In Transit: Solitary Reader
http://namelessspaces.wordpress.com/2014/10/06/oxford-circus/
http://ourgorgeouschaos.wordpress.com/2014/10/06/the-luxury-at-shanghai-international-airport/
http://vexingpoint.wordpress.com/2014/10/06/daily-prompt-in-transit/
http://fibercompulsion.com/2014/10/06/in-transit/
http://badosto.wordpress.com/2014/10/06/daily-prompt-in-transit/
http://isimonfiction.wordpress.com/2014/10/06/reblog-generosity/
http://mcswhispers.wordpress.com/2014/04/13/how-to-spend-8-hours-in-an-airport/
http://guthonestfaith.wordpress.com/2014/10/06/victoria-station/
http://tombalistreri.wordpress.com/2014/10/06/staying-put/
http://dragoneystory.wordpress.com/2013/11/21/sudden-inspiration-by-music-journey/
http://dragoneystory.wordpress.com/2014/10/06/dp-prompt-as-a-new-story-begins/
http://abozdar.wordpress.com/2014/10/05/highway-to-heaven/
http://abozdar.wordpress.com/2014/10/06/shades-of-last-evening/
http://crashcoursedummy.wordpress.com/2014/10/06/ttt/
http://tuckedintoacorner.wordpress.com/2014/10/06/transitions/

Thanks For Reading
Itsmayurremember

I’m proud


Daily Post
( Truth Serum

You’ve come into possession of one vial of truth serum. Who would you give it to (with the person’s consent, of course) — and what questions would you ask?

Not the best relation to the topic. But if I could frame a question to this post it would probably be like what are you proud of?

I did my best.  Really I did. I don’t know how it didn’t go so well.

In retrospect I can’t even count how many times I said this.  I repeated this again and again to everyone and everyone who listened. 

And I did this every time I failed.  I was distraught,  the weight of disappointment too heavy for my lank shoulders.

Tonight when I was watching a tv show,  a reality show nonetheless,  I heard one contestant say she is proud of what she did. Even if she is eliminated she knows she couldn’t have done better.

And she is proud of that fact.

That one line caught my attention.  If she fails or she isn’t up to the standard,  she is eliminated.  No second  chance.  No retries. Just gone. 

But she said she will be proud of what she did regardless the results.
I never said that. I never said that when I screwed up a big exam three years ago.  I never say it now when I have so many things to be proud of.  I never say I’m proud of that.  Even when I got great scores which I just recently did,  I was ecstatic but never uttered or felt proud.

Is that even possible?

So I asked friends.  Almost all said the same.  They were proud of themselves when they did great.  But when they didn’t accomplish what they sought,  they didn’t feel happiness much less pride.

And they certainly never felt pride when they fell. Unlike the girl on the show.

Maybe the show is fake and not reality, a deceiving telecast just to win audience.  Or maybe the girl lived halfway down in Australia maybe.  Or some other rationale can be valid here.

It is like someone poured an ice bucket on me.  Realization is disheartening and sends a shiver down my spine.

So I ask you,  After you failed in something you put your heart and soul into, after you did your best, 
Did you say to yourself that you are proud of yourself? Not after days of crying and hurting yourself.  Immediately after.  When and if the shock is just given and the first thought in your mind is ‘Hey I did my best,  I’m proud of that’

If you are anything like me you wouldn’t have.  You would have cursed and punished yourself for the failure.  I always said to others it is the efforts that matter,  not the end product.  Now I regard this a bit differently.

Being proud of your investment is what matters.

And this is rather more important to believe in when you fall.

Saying it that matters. Believing it that matters. Because great outcomes are rare.  And when you are down,  clothes bloodied and downcast sight only pride on your efforts may lift you. And make you try again.

If you do not feel the same then I plead you to consider it.  Ponder it for time being.  I propound this to you.

Next time when you fall,  which honestly I don’t want,  I want you to say you are proud of what you tried to do. It couldn’t have been otherwise.

And I vow that what come in near futures, I will always be proud of my efforts. It will not be easy. Appreciating the good amidst the worse situation is never easy. But I’ll try.

I always put in my best.  Be it my family or friends, or academic or my extra activities, I’m proud of I chased and achieved,  and what I fell short of grabbing. Good and the bad.

Thanks For Reading
Itsmayurremember

Let’s see what others have written :
WHERE OH WHERE HAS MY LITTLE PROMPT GONE?
http://emo1956.wordpress.com/2014/09/30/the-truth-will-set-you-free/
http://tombalistreri.wordpress.com/2014/09/30/you-cant-handle-the-truth/
http://petrd1.wordpress.com/2014/09/30/simply-ire-quizzical/
http://crashcoursedummy.wordpress.com/2014/09/30/better-way/
http://iamj0ann.com/2014/09/30/b101-truth-serum/
http://theempathyqueen.wordpress.com/2014/09/30/the-truth-is-not-only-words-but-experience-daily-post/
http://msbstories.wordpress.com/2014/09/30/consent-and-truth-serum-dont-mix/
http://mojowritin.wordpress.com/2014/09/30/tooth-be-told-a-green-lake-tale/
Daily Prompt: Truth Serum – the truth always hurts
http://kenyindian.wordpress.com/2014/09/30/just-friends-or-something-more/
http://suejutakeshi.wordpress.com/2014/09/30/the-truth-has-been-spoken/
http://mybeautifulbreakdown.wordpress.com/2014/09/30/truth-served-cold/
http://debooworks.wordpress.com/2014/09/30/any-takers-2/
http://abozdar.wordpress.com/2014/09/29/dwellings/
http://abozdar.wordpress.com/2014/09/29/governance/
http://stilllifewithgradstudent.wordpress.com/2014/09/30/truth-serum-comes-in-a-little-glass-vial-a-little-glass-vial-a-little-glass-vial/
http://alotfromlydia.wordpress.com/2014/09/30/wheres-all-my-stuff/
http://bhalsop.wordpress.com/2014/09/30/daily-prompt-truth-serum/
http://yzhengblog.wordpress.com/2014/09/30/if-i-have-a-vial-of-truth-serum/
http://raspberrydaydreams.wordpress.com/2014/10/01/truth-serum/
http://tnkerr.wordpress.com/2014/09/30/daily-prompt-truth-serum/
http://whenmybrainfarts.wordpress.com/2014/09/30/veritaserum/
http://lindaswritingblog.wordpress.com/2014/09/30/the-whole-truth/
http://evolvingruminations.wordpress.com/2014/09/30/truth-will-out/
http://l5gn.wordpress.com/2014/09/30/the-truth/
http://berryduchess.wordpress.com/2014/10/01/the-absolut-truth/
http://csaravg.wordpress.com/2014/09/30/truth-serum/
http://flowersandbreezes.wordpress.com/2014/09/30/truth-is-better-than-lies/
http://watermovesme.wordpress.com/2014/09/30/prompt-and-thorough-ish/
http://apparentlyanna.wordpress.com/2014/09/30/i-dont-need-truth-serum/
http://youaintspecial.wordpress.com/2014/09/30/you-cant-handle-it/
http://watermovesme.wordpress.com/2014/09/30/prompt-and-thorough-ish-2/
What do you live for?
http://pippakinclawz.wordpress.com/2014/09/30/daily-post-truth/
http://www.ryanerickson.com/writing/2014/09/30/using-a-truth-serum-on-__________-perhaps-not/
http://allthingscuteandbeautiful.wordpress.com/2014/09/30/daily-prompt-being-truthful/
http://robertmcq.com/2014/09/30/the-truth-potion9302014/
http://amakaanozie.wordpress.com/2014/09/30/independence/
http://thoughtsofajunkiemisfit.wordpress.com/2014/09/30/do-you-swear-to-tell-the-whole-truth/
http://scriptunderconstruction.wordpress.com/2014/09/30/lying-to-myself/
http://sayadpoet.wordpress.com/2014/09/30/truthful-me-daily-prompt/
http://teachezwell.me/2014/09/30/teachers-lounge-chat-3-truth-serum/
http://beginnersblessings.wordpress.com/2014/09/30/truth-serum/
http://teachezwell.me/2014/09/30/daily-post-prompt-blogging-racial-sterotypes/
http://djgarcia94.wordpress.com/2014/09/30/truth-shall-set-you-free/
Truth Serum
http://silverthreading.com/2014/09/30/truth-serum/
http://schattenengel.wordpress.com/2014/09/30/a-truth-serum-for-myself/
http://psibrone.wordpress.com/2014/09/30/truth-tactics/
http://waywordness.wordpress.com/2014/09/30/truth-serum/
http://dallernaturel.com/2014/09/30/truth-in-black-white/
http://thegadabouttown.wordpress.com/2014/09/30/deus-ex/
http://movingtowardsthelight.com/2014/09/30/the-hunters-high/
http://mjamesjackson.wordpress.com/2014/09/30/i-cant-handle-the-truth/
Whoppers

Truth Serum Special Guest


http://kizzyandizzy.wordpress.com/2014/09/30/blogging-101-is-honesty-the-best-policy/
The Easy-Peasy Road
http://thedailybants.wordpress.com/2014/09/30/could-you-handle-the-truth/
http://daniellewong09.wordpress.com/2014/09/30/truth-or-truth/
http://emotionalfitnesstraining.com/2014/09/30/how-and-when-to-lie-five-tips/
http://joatmon14.com/2014/09/30/all-in-the-name-of-science/
http://stepstimestwo.wordpress.com/2014/09/30/simply-truth/
http://grieflessons.wordpress.com/2014/09/30/the-whole-truth/
http://backinthecityblog.wordpress.com/2014/09/30/truth-serum/
http://idleandboredtwo.wordpress.com/2014/09/30/daily-prompt-truth-serum/
http://ajustmanishardtofind.com/2014/09/30/does-the-truth-have-to-hurt/
Truth Serum or are you listening?
http://letthestarsout.wordpress.com/2014/09/30/blogging-101-one-vial-of-veritaserum/
http://brennquenn.com/2014/09/30/veritaserum/
http://writingfromunderabeechtree.wordpress.com/2014/09/30/the-truth-is-there-for-the-asking/
http://aussieemjay.wordpress.com/2014/09/30/fact-or-fiction/
http://fcmiller3.wordpress.com/2014/09/30/truth-serum/
http://eastelmhurstagogo.wordpress.com/2014/09/30/all-i-want-is-the-truth-just-gimme-some-truth/
http://spadethought.wordpress.com/2014/09/18/knowing-the-truth/
http://speculativeparadigmshifts.wordpress.com/2014/09/30/moment-of-truth/
http://closetoeighty.wordpress.com/2014/10/01/how-i-would-use-a-vial-of-truth-serum/
http://danaldaggett.com/2014/09/30/no-bake-dog-treats-truth-serum-optional/
http://macbofisbil.com/2014/10/01/public-enemy-number-1/
http://jaysnaps.wordpress.com/2014/10/01/truthishly/
http://dhglearning.wordpress.com/2014/10/01/truth-serum/
http://rustyiam.wordpress.com/2014/10/01/puphood/
http://helenmeikle.wordpress.com/2014/10/01/daily-prompt-wouldnt-waste-me-time-mate/
http://lemonlimefollies.com/2014/09/30/i-envy-you-not/
http://traversinglines.wordpress.com/2014/09/30/truth-be-told/
http://literaryfaith.wordpress.com/2014/10/01/what-does-sasha-think/
http://oh3za.com/2014/10/01/truth-serum/
http://amiewrites74.wordpress.com/2014/10/01/house-of-cards/
http://anita64.wordpress.com/2014/09/30/4186/
http://anita64.wordpress.com/2014/09/30/and-nothing-but/
http://thefailingadult.com/2014/09/30/i-have-the-truth-serum/
http://fromthestickstothebricksandbackagain.wordpress.com/2014/10/01/truth-serum-no-5/
http://namelessspaces.wordpress.com/2014/09/30/look-me-in-the-eyes-and-lie/
http://asqueezeofbliss.wordpress.com/2014/10/01/calling-a-spade-a-spade/
http://betterbloggingat.wordpress.com/2014/10/01/truth-serum/
http://xavanessa.wordpress.com/2014/10/01/perspectives-on-truth/
Truth Serum: Q & A
http://perferviddreams.wordpress.com/2014/10/01/truth-serum/
http://spilledthoughtsandcoffee.wordpress.com/2014/10/01/the-upsetting-truth/
http://etor237.wordpress.com/2014/10/01/serum-of-truths/

Piecemeal


What the hell am I doing?!

(This post I wrote in two parts: prior to my results and after my results are out)

Part 1:

What the hell am I doing?!

I kept asking myself the same question the moment I woke up. I already woke up late, I saw the clock reading 6:18 am and there was no way I’ll be able to attend the morning 8 am lecture. But I still got ready for college. I did my morning routine and got frustrated when I had to comb my hair. I left it all disheveled.

And to make things worse, the trains were late. I had no intention of studying in the train today, neither did I want to listen to songs. And continuously asked myself the same question. Attending lectures isn’t my favourite past time and today I knew I don’t want to stay at home either.

There was no rickshaw and my impatience didn’t let me wait for it either. So I as I walked with showers of rain I kept thinking what I am doing I realized the entire picture that is making me so disgruntled.

With my hair all sodden and and stuck with scalp making me looking bald, I knew I wasn’t asking about my lectures. I was asking about what am I supposed to do about my future. With my Ielts results coming today I have to decide where am I heading.

I gave my Ielts. I got selected in Accenture and now in like fifteen days or so I am giving GRE. I have to fix what I want to do with my future. No longer dubious about my caliber, I know I can do great where ever I route myself. Unfortunately I don’t know what I want more. And being irresolute is difficult because every time someone asks what’s your future plan(everyone asks me that) I can’t answer. I don’t know and even after almost six months of research I can’t decide.

One would assume that after giving an exam the decision would become easy. After getting a job offer I would have realisation. But I don’t. While I am not thrilled about Accenture(though its a job) I dread my results. I have a huge phobia about it.

I am assuming that I am not getting great marks. Honestly I think I can’t get the minimum required marks either. No matter how much I try to think positively, I dread the imminent mail that is going to make or break it for me mostly.

I just hope that I sleep a little better than I did last night from now. I am tired of this pressure. The expectations I have imposed on my shoulders is like breaking me down step by step.

Part 2:

Um, now this is awkward. I am not going to edit the preceding paragraphs because they are what I was feeling like in the morning.

Now its three hours after my tests are revealed. And I got a score of 8 out of a possible 9.

Yup, 8 out of 9. That’s amazing. I am happy, friends are demanding parties and everything looks brighter suddenly. For the moment or so my concerns are worries are eclipsed by what I achieved. I literally didn’t feel like I’ll receive a 6.5 out of 9 in the morning. I didn’t believe it when I saw this. For two seconds or so, I think my breath stopped and then I basked in all the air, which tasted sweeter abruptly.

*Sighs*

I still don’t have any ounce of perception, no direction about what next. But for once maybe I’m really happy about NOW.

Sporting a huge cocky smile, standing like I just completed a impossible mission, I stand awaiting my bus.

I am suddenly optimistic that if not today, I’ll figure out my life’s calling someday. And I’ll grab it. Till that I’ll strive for better, doing colossal tasks (GRE and applying to universities, graduating…. You get the picture here) one step at a time.

Easy and slow.

In piecemeal.

Thanks For Reading
Itsmayurremember

Recruitments, so Chill


Sometimes I think that my brain is going to commit suicide. Honestly. It has all premontions of it, the frequent migrains are maybe my brain warning me to cool down. I am not saying I am suicidal, I am great and happy, its my brain that concerns me. If my brain ever starts speaking to me, mostly in a dream I think the monlogue will probably be like this:

Brain:

You can’t even get it that I can’t take it anymore. I have to do so much and youy, you idiot just rush headlong into indiscrimante commitments that even I can’t keep track of them all. Seriously, bro stop! Or else I’ll stop and you will end up all ‘vegetabley’ in a hospital.

Well I think that’s what he’ll (definitely HE) say. Last time I mentiined about my upcoming recruitment process. Now for an engineer this is important. This is how Indians will recognize you mostly (He got into Delloite/L&T/XYZ) , you will get respect(if you get a good salary package, of course) and blahblahblah all the other stupid social norms (Who started things like this?!!!)

Now let’s back it a bit. Engineers are born the day when their father/mother/some random elder look at them and utter in all pride “Mera Beta Engineer banega”,(My son/daughter is going to be an Engineer!) I am sure that most people who stand where I stand now, are mostly cursing that abominable day. ‘3 Idiots’ movie that line so funny that even mentioning that line brings out fits of laughter among engineers!

https://i0.wp.com/filmykeeday.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/Mera-beta-Engineer-Banega-3-idiots-dialogues-memes.jpg

(Courtesy:http://filmykeeday.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/Mera-beta-Engineer-Banega-3-idiots-dialogues-memes.jpg)

I am a super idiot, considering I came home one day and said “I am going to be an engineer!” So stupid. And yet I think better than my decision to aspire to be a doctor some years ago. Imagining myself cutting up cadavers on a monday because it is that practicals, I laugh at the incredulosity of it. It isn’t for me.

Then we give a thousand exams whose abbrevations sound like a terrorist organizations, join coaching classes, accumulate illimitable study materials that our storage space becomes glutted. And that is before engineering mind you, it only gets worse. Just to get into a great college. When I say a great college, I mean to end up in an city, like Bandra in my case.

You expect people to be different in big hotspot colleges like these. They aren’t. The just are more affluent than your previous classmates. Many fakes, liers and sycophants you will encounter, likes of which you will definitely find a local Pan wala shop(hangout spot). It takes a while to spot the authentic from the horde and guess what, you are mostly wrong. But that’s okay, sometimes you do find great people.

Now skim to last year and the recruitment. I really can’t emphasize how important this day is. You find the library packed with students revising aptitude and various programming languages a month before, or two months. We engineers are awesome, aren’t we?

On day, your nerves kill you. You find yourself thirsty even if you just gulped down a litre of water. Hands are sweaty and feets are tapping restlessly. And guess what? I think I made an blunder in my interviews too! I’m human so its okay.

Well I just gave one interview after which I was ashamed to death by the mistakes I made. And I decided never again. Last five days in a row, I woke up and I prepared myself mentally for the tasks I have to achieve. Whether it be the IELTS exam (which went okay) or the recruitment. I was determined and persistent that no more mistakes! I may have that line my phone wallpaper too.

And I (actually a group of us) were thrown out like a some leftover rotten last night dinner in the next recruitment rounds. We weren’t eligible and that’s a story for another day. With the recruitment officer resonating “I have 200+ students to cater to, I can’t entertain everybody’s individual problems”, we walked out in shame.

I was angry, agahst and a little disappointed. I wanted that comapany’s offer letter.

As i woke up today, with practically no tension and nothig to prepare for, I ended up chuckling at how much this is affecting me. With continously flagging confidence levels, I should be worried.

I am not. There is always some other opprotunity. And when it knocks I am going to go there, grinning the entire time and try my best. If I’m not able to achieve it then something else will come up. And I’ll try again.

Speaking/Placements Day 1


It is kind of Amazing how things pan out sometimes!

As I mentioned before today I had a part of my IELTS exam, only the speaking module. And also today we have our college placements beginning.

Day 1.

Today we had the aptitude test for Accenture at 8.30 am. That’s right, 8.30. I never reach college by 8.30 and I had to come for the aptitude test by that time.

Not only that, my speaking module was scheduled at 9.00 am. The aptitude test timing I didn’t know till a day ago. I had asked in the college about it, but they didn’t disclose it.

And my college and the speaking test module location were far, like separated by an hour or so. So I had to make a decision, either Ielts or aptitude.

Rescheduling my speaking test was not an option. No way! I had prepared for this exam, a month’s worries and tension had cumulated to this. No way!

Don’t get me wrong, I am not greedy. I just wanted to do both, get good grades in my speaking test and achieve passing in my aptitude. But I knew I could do only one.

I reached the speaking module location, which by the way is the ITC Grand Central in Parel. Mind you, the hotel is amazing. Just by looking at it I was agape. Huge and sumptuous.

image
The lobby, i just did not want to leave!!

I was a good hour before my test. I waited in the lobby for the test to begin. Met a couple of people there, all test givers who for various reasons were giving the test. I found out that I’m the first person to give the test. Okay, I can do it I thought. And I gulped down some water for my parched throat.

Finally they called us, took us to the tenth floor, which turned out to be the spa floor(?) And one by one checked our documents and took one photograph. I was escorted to room 1007(I not gonna forget the details of a test like this!) Where I met my test taker Mrs Poonam.

Now I can’t describe my test in words. It was good, satisfactory. She asked a couple of questions I answered them. And in a blink of an eye, my fifteen minutes of speaking test were done. I enjoyed it, and I hope the results don’t disappoint either(coming on 19th September).

Turned out when I reached my college, I could give my aptitude too. There was another batch and I squeezed in. I hardly prepared for this but I did my best.

And voila, I got through the aptitude also!

Tomorrow I have group discussion round of Accenture placement. Followed by the remaining modules of Ielts exam on Saturday. And from Monday again I’ll have other companies coming to college for recruitment. Talk about a busy schedule! But this is better. I find myself growing more and more restive each day, that such coming days may prove fruitful for me. I don’t know what tomorrow holds for me.

Just because today was a good day, doesn’t mean tomorrow I’ll be lucky again. Luck is capricious bitch which hardly favors me. But I will still do my best. Funny thing is this, my classmates had more confidence in me than I did. Now to amidst all the bantering I received they held the opinion I’ll get recruited tomorrow.

I know it is not going to be easy. With such a huge pool of candidates applying tomorrow, I find my chances miniscule. But even if I don’t get in, I do hope I could remember the fact that I DID give it my best shot. That it is okay to not get in.

Let’s see how tomorrow goes!

Thanks For Reading
Itsmayurremember

Numbness


( Pains and Gains

Do you agree with Jane Fonda’s favorite exercise motto, “no pain, no gain?” Is it impossible to attain greatness without considerable hardship?)

I haven’t written in a ten days. Neither fiction nor reality.

I hardly checked other people’s blogs either. I have no clue about what’s happening in their lives either.

I could lie about having a hectic schedule, or about being tired all the time (I am!) But that isn’t the reason.

It’s because I feel numb. Completely and utterly numb. Lifeless and senseless.

image

I should be tensed, I have my Ielts this Saturday. But I don’t feel tensed.

My college’s placements (Job Interviews) start this week. I should feel anticipation. I don’t.

I should feel anger at my friends for not inviting me for festivals. I don’t. I don’t feel morose either.

I should feel something. I don’t. I’m filled with apathy and it sickens me. I am human. How could I feel nothing!!!

I read news. Ukraine. Gaza. Israel. Russia. Islamic state. Ebola. Rape. Murder. Scams. Scandals. Etc. Etc.

That’s what they are to me now. Not some other human agony. Just some blah, some etc. And it is sickening for me.

I don’t even feel anything when things turn sour at home. I should feel anger, concern. Nothing!

image

It is like I have exhausted myself. The sudden bereavement of my emotions is like I have lost some intrinsic quality. I feel as if I have been supplanted by a clone.

And without these little tiny prompts that are born within, I couldn’t write. My posts are all driven by them. I stalled thinking I’ll find something to write about. I didn’t.

And that was the last straw. I decided I’ll come back to writing. With the number of people in life with whom I could talk to less than my fingers I needed an outlet. I don’t want to end up as a caustic fellow, full of hostility and lack of concern. Or I don’t want to end up a taciturn either. It took a whole lot of courage and will to reach this place, I’m not going back.

I read other people’s blogs. And that isn’t easy when you have about a hundred or so posts backlog. I did my best to read as many as I could. I either starred them or commented on them. I read and read. With each post my comments became more and more thoughtful. With each comment I retrieved the urge to write again.

I don’t know how much power this post is going to have. I have no idea about how you, as a reader will see me after this post. I just want to get back into writing.

I recently tried getting into the Internship Story Contest by Internshala.com.  Don’t know how that will turn out.

I want to write more. I want to participate in more contests, grab as many chances I can to be able to be empathic again.

I’ll take pain. But I want this gain back.

Let’s see what others have written:
http://yougottawrite.wordpress.com/2014/08/31/its-all-in-our-heads/
http://randomactsofsnark.wordpress.com/2014/08/31/pains-and-gains/
http://vmtranblog.wordpress.com/2014/08/31/daily-prompt-pains-and-gains/
http://jesstyt.wordpress.com/2014/08/31/no-pain-no-gain/
http://awlscribe.wordpress.com/2014/08/31/pains-and-gains/
http://myauthoritis.wordpress.com/2014/08/30/pain-free/
http://sayadpoet.wordpress.com/2014/08/31/pains-and-gains-daily-prompt/
http://flashinthepanwritings.wordpress.com/2014/08/30/no-pain-no-gain/
http://neverfinished.net/2014/08/30/slump-busting-at-the-halfway-point/
http://helenmeikle.wordpress.com/2014/08/31/daily-prompt-depends-how-you-look-at-it/
http://katherinewebber.wordpress.com/2014/08/30/pains-and-gains/
http://wileyschmidt.com/2014/08/30/belong-to-your-dreams/
http://flowersandbreezes.wordpress.com/2014/08/30/the-voyagers/
http://eastelmhurstagogo.wordpress.com/2014/08/30/have-to-and-get-to/
http://shyspark.wordpress.com/2014/08/30/hardship-versus-hard-work/
http://alotfromlydia.wordpress.com/2014/08/30/on-childbirth/
http://endeavoury.wordpress.com/2014/08/30/pains-and-gains/
http://lewellynhughes.wordpress.com/2014/08/30/pains-and-gains/
http://kansamuse.me/2014/08/30/no-pain-no-gain-that-is-the-question/
http://adjustingyourfocus.wordpress.com/2014/08/30/making-room-for-courage/
http://rodgersthat.wordpress.com/2014/08/30/daily-prompt-no-pain-no-gain/
http://insach21site.wordpress.com/2014/08/30/flying-without-falling/
http://willowscottling.wordpress.com/2014/08/30/actually-no/
http://tidlidim.wordpress.com/2014/08/30/daily-prompt-pains-and-gains/
http://emo1956.wordpress.com/2014/08/30/define-greatness/
i don’t need your rocking chair: daily post
http://mcswhispers.wordpress.com/2013/04/02/on-the-tip-of-a-pointe/
http://myviewonlifeafter65.wordpress.com/2014/08/30/painless-greatness-wp-daily-prompt/
http://designersophisticate.wordpress.com/2014/08/30/that-which-doesnt-kill-you-makes-you-stronger/
PAIN AND GAIN? NO SUBSTITUTE FOR USING YOUR BRAIN
http://dossiersofsbk.wordpress.com/2014/08/30/pains-gains-greatness/
http://tornin2.wordpress.com/2014/08/30/there-has-to-be-pain-to-achieve-greatness/
No gains without pains
http://thedailyblabber.wordpress.com/2014/08/30/reach-our-dreams/
http://januarysdream.com/2014/08/30/wrestling-jacob/
http://agileopedia.com/2014/08/30/no-gains-without-pains/
dialogue
http://joantatley.wordpress.com/2014/08/30/no-pain-more-gain/
http://angelamccauley.wordpress.com/2014/08/30/i-agree-with-the-statement-no-pain-no-gain/
http://cockatooscreeching.wordpress.com/2014/08/31/does-pain-really-equal-gain/
http://geekergosum.com/2014/08/30/pains-and-gains/
http://terry1954.wordpress.com/2014/08/30/pains-and-gains-the-daily-post/
http://pippakinclawz.wordpress.com/2014/08/30/walk-it/
http://tnkerr.wordpress.com/2014/08/30/daily-prompt-pains-and-gains/
http://csaravg.wordpress.com/2014/08/30/no-pain-no-gain/
http://preciousjalisa.wordpress.com/2014/08/30/thorn-removed-a-journal-entry/
http://lindaswritingblog.wordpress.com/2014/08/30/double-double-toil-and-trouble/
http://joatmon14.wordpress.com/2014/08/30/no-pain-no-change/
Daily Prompt: Pains and Gains – I have plenty of pains, where are the gains?
http://corinthialynne.wordpress.com/2014/08/30/daily-prompts-pains-and-gains/
http://marthakennedy.wordpress.com/2014/08/30/you-can-see-the-summit-but/
http://runtrading.com/2014/08/30/pains-and-gains-in-trading/
http://amaltaas.wordpress.com/2014/08/30/daily-prompt-pains-and-gains/
gr8 formuLa
http://thewriteweb.wordpress.com/2014/08/30/my-pain-is-my-gain-therefore-i-live/
http://fibercompulsion.com/2014/08/30/pains-and-gains-no-not-jane-fonda/
http://jaynesdailypost.wordpress.com/2014/08/30/pains-and-gains/
http://flippyzipflop.wordpress.com/2014/08/30/pain-is-my-teacher/
http://cxianliu.wordpress.com/2014/04/14/realization/
http://milambc.wordpress.com/2014/08/30/bleed-to-succeed/
Pains and Gains: Fly light
http://seikaiha.wordpress.com/2014/08/30/daily-prompt-only-pain/
http://valprehension.wordpress.com/2014/08/30/brief-thought-applying-no-pain-no-gain-to-blogging/
http://hobilari.com/2014/08/30/how-to-grow-my-audience-its-a-pains-and-gains/
A Satisficer I am not: No pain, No Gain indeed
http://laughagain.wordpress.com/2014/08/30/experience-makes-you-stronger/
http://helenccsmith.wordpress.com/2014/08/30/daily-post-pains-and-gains/

No Pain, No Gain


http://quotosphere.wordpress.com/2014/08/26/37/
http://shesrambling.com/2014/08/30/pain-is-not-always-physical/
http://agirllikemee.wordpress.com/2014/08/30/really/
http://badosto.wordpress.com/2009/04/05/pain-and-balance/
http://sugarcoatingsince91.wordpress.com/2014/08/30/no-pain-no-gain/
http://kevinsunny.wordpress.com/2014/08/30/try-try-again/
http://davidfetzer6271951.wordpress.com/2014/08/30/pains-and-gains/
http://dancingtotherain.wordpress.com/2014/08/30/no-pain-no-gain/
http://vexingpoint.wordpress.com/2014/08/30/daily-prompt-pains-and-gains/
http://itsmatthewburgos.wordpress.com/2014/08/30/sliced-skin-daily-prompt/
http://tuckedintoacorner.wordpress.com/2014/08/30/pain-and-gain/
http://tombalistreri.wordpress.com/2014/08/30/with-gain-comes-pain/
http://abozdar.wordpress.com/2014/08/30/where-to/
http://abozdar.wordpress.com/2014/08/30/looking-for-you/
http://grieflessons.wordpress.com/2014/08/30/skyping-long-after-midnight-and-4-margaritas/

7 Seals – a personal Matter


http://caliten.wordpress.com/2014/08/31/pain-and-gain/
http://glowingcoatofawareness.wordpress.com/2014/08/31/challenges-yield-personal-power/
http://sweetykannoth.wordpress.com/2014/08/31/no-pain-no-gain/

Thanks For Reading
Itsmayurremember

You Did it!!


I should be angry. Disappointed. Maybe even depressed somewhat.

I honestly expected myself to be. For what I got. I got less than what I got the last term. But I’m not.

I’m surprised at this too!

In fact I feel relaxed and tranquil. A month long trepidation and suspense is over. I finally now have my grades.

And as I sit in train, writing this post with a huge grin on my face I can see fellow commuters looking at me as if I have gone mad.

I’m happy. I don’t feel even a speck of disappointment. And it gets better.

My friends got such nice grades!

The friend who I study with, who put in so much efforts into this exams, has got so good. She stands just beside me on the scores. Another friend who I have always competed in grades has the same grades as I do. She just told me a couple of days ago she wanted such grades. She got it. My best friend scored more than me! Such meteoric progress! That bastard!!

In fact, all of the class got better. All of them deserve a full hearted cordial congrats!

I was always the competitive type. I always said, I’ll get more marks next time. Never liked being outstripped. Always a race.

Today isn’t one of those days. Today I find myself so happy for their feats. They did it. They deserved it. I’m not gonna go the next day and say to them ‘I’ll get more the next exam!’. In fact I won’t mind the next time they get more.

Never thought I’ll be so glad to see others achieve more.

It felt so good to achieve something last term!. It feels a thousand times better when all those who I call friends achieve what they want and more.

Maybe I’m learning what friendship is finally.

Congrats to all my classmates who are reading this!

Thanks For Reading
Itsmayurremember

The Other Species


( Not Lemonade

When life gives you lemons… make something else. Tell us about a time you used an object or resolved a tricky situation in an unorthodox way.)

(Not a tricky situation, but I found some relation to the post I was writing so I submitted anyway)

Women.

I’m not going to say that I am some expert, in fact it is the complete opposite of it.

If I talk about the different women in my life, I’ll probably never finish this post. Not because I know so many, it is because they are so complex that I won’t be able to pen down one point. So I’ll probably stick this posts to the main and vital ones.

image

First and obviously, my mom. And yes, after living with her for twenty years I still can’t foresee when she will break down and cry rivers. Sometimes I could get it, but most of the times it is ‘let’s see how it goes’. And what’s worse is when she says ‘okay’.

Example, I say I’m going to my friend’s and she says okay. I know I am in trouble. Extent of the trouble I’ll find out later. And all at once.

But she is my Mom and still comparatively easy to understand. I know she cares about me, and most of her actions are still based on that affection. And it is adorable so I never say a word. She is best mom ever!

Now let’s talk about women/girls of my age. It wasn’t always difficult picking up conversation with them when I was tiny.

Then they decided to hit puberty and well grow things.

In summation, my school and junior college went with as limited interaction with girls. Only Hi! And usual assignments.

Cut to present day. I am in a class whose sex ratio is like 3 girls to 1 guy. Seclusion won’t work, and honestly I didn’t want to either. I wanted to talk, get involved because I felt I was missing out.

To paraphrase a friend, I not only speak now, I speak a lot! Somehow the awkwardness around girls, stammering and shyness reduced.

But that doesn’t mean everything’s okay.

I have a teacher who could not give one lecture without passing a jibe at me. Literally she made me a joke in class (no she isn’t ragging me!)

And the girls!

They are so so so so confusing. Seriously. I know they are as confused as I am, and I shouldn’t be so harsh in judging them. But sometimes it is like they are from another species. So frustrating it gets!

image

One moment they are all so nice and saccharine, next I feel their animosity towards me that I get an urge to go and hide under some rock. I am seriously afraid that one day one of them will stab me.

Friends for one day, next they say they aren’t talking to me anymore. Random reasons to pick fights. I Didn’t tell her to join me when I ate, ‘Don’t talk to me anymore’. Or the latest, ‘You are gonna forget me anyway’.

image

What did I do? I find the most complex maths problems easier. Studies is easier. Talking to bunch of guys is way easier.

And talk between guys is fixed, either sports or end up telling how hot the girl passing by is. No offense girls. Men will be men.

But somehow I managed. Today I don’t stammer whenever I talk to a girl. Their erratic behavior is somehow amiable, in certain girls cute too. And they know something about listening.

A friend who I judged incorrectly in the beginning turned out to be the best friend I could have asked for.

Another girl who I befriended is complete opposite of me. I still don’t get how we end up being friends. Ended up among the leftovers and made a presentation group. Talking to her is so easy. If I could go back two years and help her, I will.

The main reason I am writing this post is that I found out that I can’t say no to girls. Logic goes completely out of the window when they ask for help. And they know just how to ask. Puppy faced, slightly tensed visage.

It isn’t possible. I agreed to stupid thing for which a guy is teasing me to death. Not exactly a stupid thing, just headlong. Should have given it more thought. But she really needed my help and I couldn’t say no. And my help paid off, I got repaid and now no harm done.

Try saying no! I dare you!

This isn’t a big tricky situation like so many others may be facing.  But I wanted to share anyway.

(Girls of my class if you are reading this, just because I can not say no doesn’t mean I am going to say yes. I learned that trick!)

Thanks For Reading
Itsmayurremember

Let’s see what other have written:
http://abozdar.wordpress.com/2014/08/09/edifice/
http://abozdar.wordpress.com/2014/08/03/brave/
http://tombalistreri.wordpress.com/2014/08/09/bad-drink/
http://kosheradobo.com/2013/12/15/how-a-dirty-joke-saved-my-green-card/
http://tuckedintoacorner.wordpress.com/2014/08/09/lemonade/
http://vexingpoint.wordpress.com/2014/08/09/daily-prompt-not-lemonade/
http://gabicringus.wordpress.com/2014/08/09/not-lemonade/
http://guthonestfaith.wordpress.com/2014/08/09/yo-mama/
http://shiradventurist.wordpress.com/2014/08/09/just-cry-it-out/
http://livingbreathingbeing.wordpress.com/2014/08/09/when-life-give-you-lemons-no-no-i-wont-make-lemonade/
http://mcswhispers.wordpress.com/2014/04/10/wake-up-and-smell-the-lemons/
http://flippyzipflop.wordpress.com/2014/08/09/1071/
http://kate0murray.wordpress.com/2014/08/09/once-upon-a-time/
http://grieflessons.wordpress.com/2014/08/09/compulsion-to-rhyme-all-the-time/
http://wanderingideasoflife.wordpress.com/2014/08/09/stinkin-thinking/
http://risingrave28.wordpress.com/2014/08/09/the-comeback/
http://jaynesdailypost.wordpress.com/2014/08/09/not-lemonade/
http://laughagain.wordpress.com/2014/08/09/thank-you-steven-soderbergh/
http://mindsoffollowers.wordpress.com/2014/08/09/conflict-management-helps-to-make-lemonade-out-of-lemons/
http://breakingbadness.wordpress.com/2014/08/09/the-daily-prompt-not-lemonade/
http://wriculent.wordpress.com/2014/08/09/not-another-unorthodox-story/
http://msbstories.wordpress.com/2014/08/09/the-blunt-object-of-compassion/
http://loisajay1213.wordpress.com/2014/08/09/daily-prompt-not-lemonade/
http://yzhengblog.wordpress.com/2014/08/09/getting-lost/
http://joatmon14.wordpress.com/2014/08/09/when-life-gives-you-a-friend/
http://pippakinclawz.wordpress.com/2014/08/09/3291/
READING THE BOOK OF ALL-ANSWERS
http://flowersandbreezes.wordpress.com/2014/08/09/tale-of-a-stepmom/
http://meaningunfolding.wordpress.com/2014/08/09/not-lemonade-acceptance-the-route-to-ease/
http://thereluctantbaptist.wordpress.com/2014/08/09/and-the-babies-lived/
Turning a Meltdown into Songfest 🙂
http://guidetogettinglost.wordpress.com/2014/08/09/how-to-avoid-trouble-while-traveling-abroad/
http://marthakennedy.wordpress.com/2014/08/09/lemons-are-not-always-lemons/
http://lindaswritingblog.wordpress.com/2014/08/09/curtains-and-clothes/
http://deanbowman.co/2014/08/09/paper-august/
http://perfectpubquiz.wordpress.com/2014/08/09/theres-something-about-terry/
http://ifollowislands.wordpress.com/2014/08/09/guinea-pig-on-the-road-no-lemons/
http://dragoneystory.wordpress.com/2013/11/04/wordless-crushed-but-never-broken/
http://dragoneystory.wordpress.com/2014/08/09/true-strength-begins-with/
http://stepstimestwo.wordpress.com/2014/08/09/lemonade-with-a-twist/
http://alotfromlydia.wordpress.com/2014/08/09/support-hose-incident-debriefing/
http://alotfromlydia.wordpress.com/2014/08/09/support-hose-incident-debriefing/
http://griefhappens.wordpress.com/2014/08/09/sometimes-you-have-to-make-things-happen/
http://fibercompulsion.com/2014/08/09/not-lemonade/
http://siapositive.wordpress.com/2014/08/09/taste-the-lemons/
http://griefhappens.wordpress.com/2014/08/09/talesfromtheteenyears/
http://photofaithchallenge.wordpress.com/2014/07/27/more-than-i-deserve/
http://fieldofthorns.wordpress.com/2014/08/09/loss-objectified/
http://greyzr.wordpress.com/2014/08/09/stranded/
http://theshotgungirls.wordpress.com/2014/08/10/the-hungry-calf/
http://eastelmhurstagogo.wordpress.com/2014/08/09/finding-the-hidden-good-in-lemons/
http://withafrenchmaidfetishwhilstmusing.wordpress.com/2014/08/10/have-kitchen-will-travel/
http://thisonpurpose.wordpress.com/2014/08/10/a-lemon-of-a-class/
http://thegadabouttown.wordpress.com/2014/08/09/daily-prompt-born-at-the-right-time/
http://thisonpurpose.wordpress.com/2014/08/10/a-lemon-of-a-class/
http://wileyschmidt.com/2014/08/09/an-open-letter-to-the-haters/
Not Lemonade: Have some!
http://sienawritesthings.wordpress.com/2014/08/10/not-lemonade/
http://no1muzzy.wordpress.com/2014/08/10/brown-chook-v-black-puppy-2/

Take What You Get..


In the recent years, there have been hospital visits for my family.

My dad had an kidney stone operation some two years back. My mom had to remove her appendix a year ago. My big brother too was in the hospital for a week because of a chest infection.

Now too my dad is undergoing a dental procedure. My mom is showing early signs of arthritis. My brother is well, he is the same idiot he was.

So whenever they undergo some procedure, they call me.

They have to get an X ray done, they ask me why should they. Or what may be the alternative to a certain procedure. And I tell them in elucidate details.

I know I have ranted and whined about there may be no good employment for me in the coming future. I don’t know where my life is going. I don’t know if I could pursue further studies or not. I can’t possibly predict what is going to happen.

image
It isn't easy

And to start thinking about, fretting about what may happen and what may go dire; it is gruelling. There is prophetic way.

Not to mention, my nerves are all jarred and the anxiety is too much to bear. My results are yet to be revealed, while most of my friends who study in different branches have already received their scores. The trepidation is killing me.

I have my impending exams to study for, I worry more than once in a day about how am I going to survive in the world when I find myself struggling in college. Other than this blog, even communication with my best friends is difficult for me. No clue about what to do after college, no clue what to do in college!

If you think I am forlorn about this, then no, I am not. I am actually laughing to have a written the same list of worries here from my brain. And for the first time, these concerns no longer concern me.

Back to the scene at my home then.

With the way my parents ask me about all medical technicalities these days. More often than not, I find myself describing in length the different mechanisms and working of these procedures or the way their body works. I do have the knowledge, though I am no doctor but I do more learned here than my family.

image

And they never understand a word that I utter. No matter in how simple I make it sound. They never do! And yet each time I find them agape.

They can’t understand it, I know. They have done their degrees in commerce while I am yet the only (imminent) technical degree holder in the house. I can’t understand either when they start talking about accounts and taxes.

But I absolutely cherish those moments. To amaze my family with my ken. To find the same pride in their faces that was lost somewhere when I grew up.

The concerns in my life aren’t going away. I may still end up in some underprivileged employment where I cannot tap my caliber. Or in some foreign university where the scene may be worse than what I face here. Or something else may go wrong.

But today I find myself proud and immune to those concerns. I am happy with what I am accomplishing at home. The small happiness and pride in what I do. In what I love.

And maybe that’s what I should seek.
Why look for the monumental felicity when you find yourself facing ephemeral joy.

You take what you can get right?

(Sometimes I find my dog too staring at me in awe!)

Thanks For Reading
Itsmayurremember

Tranquility


Today was pretty much normal. Aside from the fact that we had to present our engineering projects to the professors, yeah it was normal.

The project was approved, officially. And then we went to lunch. And lunch isn’t the commonplace restaurant like McDonald or KFC. We went to a shabby dhabba kind of place.

For its Misal Pav.

image
Misal Pav

I used to eat there when I used to practice my street play in college. I knew, a few of my friends knew it. All heard about it from me, of course. The food there was long overdue. I loved eating there, so did a few.

It was kind of fun to enter a small stall and ask seats for ten people. They had to array their customers around to make space for all of us.

We ate.

We laughed.

One got scared of a small cute black kitten.

We laughed again.

And again.

It is a memorable day in itself for me. Possibly the best I have had in a week or so. No worries, just favourite food and congenial company.

But the day got better for me after it.

I am not a atheist. I am not a believer either. I don’t know what I believe in, but it may have its roots in fatalism.

Temples are not for me. All the carillon ringing is never amiable. But I always adored Sikh temples or Gurudwalas.

Ever been to one? No? Then I highly recommend you to go there. It is like unparalleled.

image
Sikh Temple

Doesn’t matter when I go, with whom I go, it is the place that imbues peace to me. The Tranquility there is always surreal.

I could never shut my mind. There is always something that my brain keeps processing (Engineers will laugh at this!) A moment of quiet for me? Absurd.

Today I got it. The ten minutes there, I just looked. My mind didn’t even dare whisper a thought. For once, I was at the place where I stood. My mind didn’t take a trip down the memory lane.

And I relish those ten minutes profoundly.

I could hear my own heartbeat. Listen to the ceiling fan spin, cutting the air.

Whenever I visit Sikh temples, I never know what to do. But my subconscious does. Most of the time it is like I have lost control of my limbs, and my subconscious drives me. The number of times I prostrate myself, how much time should I bow my head. It is never a decision, it is autonomous.

So definitely I enjoyed the lunch. But the temple’s quietude I will not let go.

As I write this post, there is a peace in me that I never feel, and now I am basked in it

Thanks For Reading
Itsmayurremember

Resuscitation


(Back to Life

After an especially long and exhausting drive or flight, a grueling week at work, or a mind-numbing exam period — what’s the one thing you do to feel human again?)

Feel human again? That’s new.

Post exam/stress condition:

My right hand is numb, pains all over the arm. Writing so much has its consequences.

My back is killing me simply because they don’t make benches for tall people(stupid college authorities).

And I can’t think. Numbers are all still floating in my head. And if I start to so much as suppress my mental activity I get reminded of all the mistakes I made in the papers.

Its like my mind telling me to let itself unwind! So I don’t even try to control my mind.

See after my exam is done the next day I always have to, I repeat I HAVE TO watch movies.

It can be either a comedy or action packed movie. Or a simple decent movie that leaves me moved at the end.

But does that make me feel human again? Probably not. Don’t get me wrong, movies do work great. I forget all about my stupid exams(during which I end up being so distraught that I write stuff like these!) And I just enjoy those two hours.

I become enthralled by those movies, even if they are stupid and they don’t make any sense. That’s why after my I exam day I have now a Movie Day. After every single one of my exam. If you are engineering student in Mumbai University you would know how many days we have between exams.

But that’s not the point. They relieve stress, but they don’t exhilarate me.

What then makes me human?

Simple it is the sleep that I get in the train. See I have mentioned before I have an hour or more of travel in the train one way. And while coming home I do always make sure I get a place to sit, listen to songs and just close my eyes. And let the tiredness run its course.

It isn’t perfect, but it is like splashing water to my tired face. Works wonders.

And it is way better than reading books, or watching movies or any other thing. Because it is the only thing my body needs. Reprieve.

Let’s see what others have written:
http://sugarcoatingsince91.wordpress.com/2014/07/29/art/
http://tombalistreri.wordpress.com/2014/07/29/rest-from-vacation/
http://tuckedintoacorner.wordpress.com/2014/07/29/the-collapse/
http://guthonestfaith.wordpress.com/2014/07/29/lounge-sluggard/
http://pintsof.wordpress.com/2014/07/29/daily-prompt-back-to-life/
http://grieflessons.wordpress.com/2014/07/29/away/
http://dragoneystory.wordpress.com/2014/07/29/daily-post-back-to-life/
http://onemanversustheworld.wordpress.com/2014/07/29/relax-and-unwind/
http://muddyrivermuse.wordpress.com/2014/07/28/i-go-walking-days-end/
http://livingbreathingbeing.wordpress.com/2014/07/29/daily-post-i-wanted-to-feel-human-i-wanted-to-feel-alive-i-thought-suicide-could-do-this/
http://wanderingideasoflife.wordpress.com/2014/07/29/humane-association/
http://seikaiha.wordpress.com/2014/07/29/daily-prompt-back-to-life/
http://laughagain.wordpress.com/2014/07/29/life-unplugged/
http://musingsofawarmheart.wordpress.com/2014/07/29/somewhere-over-the-rainbow/
http://risingrave28.wordpress.com/2014/07/29/1562/
http://kosheradobo.com/2013/10/10/taking-off-my-shoes/
http://mauldinfamily1.wordpress.com/2014/07/29/daily-prompt-back-to-life/
http://kaapitimes.wordpress.com/2014/07/29/back-to-life-after-work/
http://bobbeck1600.wordpress.com/2014/07/29/daily-prompt-back-to-life/
http://kansamuse.me/2014/07/29/desolate-drives/
http://fibercompulsion.com/2014/07/29/back-to-life/
http://themasculinepen.wordpress.com/2014/07/29/the-daily-post-back-to-life-read-or-go-flying/
http://agirllikemee.wordpress.com/2014/07/29/unwinding-with-music/
http://hopethehappyhugger.wordpress.com/2014/07/29/life-to-back/
http://meaningunfolding.wordpress.com/2014/07/29/back-to-life-from-dismemberment-to-re-embodiment-in-two-easy-steps/
http://yzhengblog.wordpress.com/2014/07/29/the-rhythm-of-life/
http://blainecindy.com/2014/07/29/music-is-the-key/
http://sweattearsanddigitalink.com/2014/04/11/tips-for-freelance-writers/
http://coffeeandtheoffice.wordpress.com/2014/07/29/to-feel-human-i/
Daily Prompt: Back to Life – did I die??
http://develynwymore.wordpress.com/2014/07/29/tired-all-the-time/
http://keyboardpizza.wordpress.com/2014/07/29/worked-hard-game-harder/
http://marthakennedy.wordpress.com/2014/07/29/hell-on-wings-part-two-parigi/
http://maya0615.wordpress.com/2014/07/29/back-to-life/
http://cognitivereflection.wordpress.com/2014/07/29/back-to-life/
http://turquoisenoises.wordpress.com/2014/07/29/how-to-be-human-101/
5 Ways to Unwind After a Stressful Plane Flight
http://pippakinclawz.wordpress.com/2014/07/29/daily-post-back-to-life/
http://traversinglines.wordpress.com/2014/07/29/wake-me-up/
TIME WHORES AND THEIR DAMNED GAMES
http://ivymosquito.wordpress.com/2014/07/29/zzzzzzzzzzzz
http://writingpromptsforrookiewriters.wordpress.com/2014/07/29/the-daily-posts-prompt-back-to-life/
http://writingpromptsforrookiewriters.wordpress.com/2014/07/29/the-daily-posts-prompt-back-to-life/
http://shesramblingaboutstuff.wordpress.com/2014/07/29/how-to-feel-human-7-steps-with-photos/
http://completelydisappear.wordpress.com/2014/07/29/back-to-life/
http://mjamesjackson.wordpress.com/2014/07/29/resetting/
http://lifeassirli.wordpress.com/2014/07/29/lazy-day/
http://kindlingword.com/2014/06/25/ode-to-joy/
http://no1jenn.com/2014/07/29/back-to-life/
http://lifeisgreat0.wordpress.com/2014/07/29/dolce-far-niente/
http://rustyiam.wordpress.com/2014/07/29/feeling-human/
Como se dice? #dpchallenge #poetry #children
http://thedailyjuniorblog.wordpress.com/2014/07/29/back-to-life-what-would-the-therapy-dog-do/
http://thisblogneedsatitle.com/2014/07/29/daily-prompt-watching-some-comedy
http://joycepoggihager.com/2014/07/29/daily-prompt-back-to-life/
http://flowersandbreezes.wordpress.com/2014/07/29/first-thing/
http://basicallybeyondbasic.com/2014/07/29/daily-prompt-back-to-life/
http://alienorajt.wordpress.com/2014/07/29/back-to-life/
http://avatarofmrbean.wordpress.com/2014/07/29/synergy-and-energy/
Force myself to relax and then hit the ongoing fast-paced merry-go-round
Revive, rejuvenate, or, how I relax (writing prompt)
http://ifollowislands.wordpress.com/2014/07/29/flight-from-hell/
http://thedailyblabber.wordpress.com/2014/07/29/please-pass-the-potatoes/
http://oneseventwentyfourteen.wordpress.com/2014/07/29/go-to-my-happy-place-aha-thanks-tom/
http://psibrone.wordpress.com/2014/07/29/what-a-day/
http://emotionalfitnesstraining.com/2014/07/29/pray-for-relief/
http://kevinsunny.wordpress.com/2014/07/29/revitalisation/
http://goodgollymissmollie94.wordpress.com/2014/07/29/back-to-life/
http://normashilpi.wordpress.com/2014/07/29/got-my-life-back/
http://learningneverstops.wordpress.com/2014/07/29/back-to-life-through-exercise/
http://rockportshirl.wordpress.com/2014/07/29/back-to-life/
http://dragoneystory.wordpress.com/2013/11/22/write-with-your-heart/
http://soulfoood.me/2014/07/29/the-taboo-of-being-too-human/
http://fieldofthorns.wordpress.com/2014/07/29/path/
http://ungiornonellavita.com/2014/07/29/daily-prompt-back-to-life/
http://willowscottling.wordpress.com/2014/07/29/bring-me-to-life/
http://preciousjalisa.wordpress.com/2014/07/29/coming-undone/
http://thisonpurpose.wordpress.com/2014/07/29/the-profession-that-makes-one-batty/
http://treasuraa.wordpress.com/2014/07/29/back-to-life-pet-therapy/
http://senorpez.com/resurrection-by-chords/
http://kimaedwards.wordpress.com/2014/07/29/back-to-life-from-solitude/
http://theultimatefundraiser.wordpress.com/2014/07/29/back-to-life-into-the-arms-of-music/
http://pigeoneyeball.wordpress.com/2014/07/29/that-feels-much-better/
http://alotfromlydia.wordpress.com/2014/07/29/after-work/
http://lindaswritingblog.wordpress.com/2014/07/29/normal-whats-that-2/
http://djgarcia94.wordpress.com/2014/07/29/krash/
http://thatgirlfromfriday.wordpress.com/2014/07/30/on-feeling-productive-and-the-need-for-weekends/
http://creativestoryline.wordpress.com/2014/07/29/refresh/
http://ascribetodescribe.wordpress.com/2014/07/30/back-to-life-read-to-write/
http://eastelmhurstagogo.wordpress.com/2014/07/29/recuperating-from-stress-or-exhaustion/
http://abbiesbabble.wordpress.com/2014/07/30/in-my-own-head/
http://thedaily400.wordpress.com/2014/07/29/wash-cloth/
http://jaynesdailypost.wordpress.com/2014/07/29/back-to-life/
http://99problemsanddone.wordpress.com/2014/07/30/back-to-life-back-to-reality/
Back to Life: Unwinding
http://thegadabouttown.wordpress.com/2014/07/29/daily-post-stress-is-a-six-letter-word-so-is-human/
Post A Day: Back to Life
http://patcoyle53.wordpress.com/2014/07/29/staying-in-focus-daily-prompt-back-to-life-let-s-be-real/
http://sienawritesthings.wordpress.com/2014/07/30/back-to-life/
http://pickedlastingymclass.com/2014/07/29/how-do-you-feel-human-again/
http://osuzyquilts.wordpress.com/2014/07/29/cleanse-your-aura/
http://tnkerr.wordpress.com/2014/07/29/daily-prompt-back-to-life/
http://asword684.wordpress.com/2014/07/29/take-me-away/
http://testmecards.wordpress.com/2014/07/30/sit-on-the-couch-and-rest/
http://siapositive.wordpress.com/2014/07/30/back-to-life/
http://helenmeikle.wordpress.com/2014/07/30/daily-prompt-no-brainer/
http://l5gn.wordpress.com/2014/07/30/the-kiss-of-life-back-to-life-the-daily-post/
http://funnierrevolt.wordpress.com/2014/07/30/but-i-need-that-one-thing/
http://psmithak.wordpress.com/2014/07/30/a-way-to-unwind/
http://weedytan.wordpress.com/2014/07/30/brainstorming-and-brainwriting/
http://niquelektra.wordpress.com/2014/07/30/human-again/
http://ledrakenoir.wordpress.com/2014/07/30/the-almost-naked-truth/
http://frenchtouchincebu.wordpress.com/2014/07/30/back-to-life-right-after-my-nap/

Thanks For Reading
Itsmayurremember

Turning Tides


Ever had a day where things go bad?

Definitely you must have. And I want you to look back on that day, and see if you agree with me. That a chain of bad things, like everything else, do come to an end.

I haven’t written for a while. I had some dull couple of days. Nothing to talk about. And honestly I guess I wanted a break.

But these two days were enough to make me write something.

Fights suck. I know, had enough if them myself. Thankfully I had none myself now. But I saw others recover from their wounds. Saw others try to help anyway they can. Even if it means trying to arrange a birthday party at the end of the day. But it doesn’t happen in a second. I hope it gets better for my friends.

And I wonder what exactly happens to me in college? It is like as soon as I enter the gates there I discard all sense and maturity. I become a jerk. I speak obscenities, my arrogance knows no bounds. It is like having some multiple personality disorder.

That is a complain that I usually get. And I noticed that it is true. Sadly, I am a different person in college. It is like wearing a mask with which I am so comfortable with I can’t even realize where I feigning starts.

Or maybe me as a person is a haphazard mixture of parts jerk and parts…(I can’t find a word here).

I planned on going for trekking on the Sunday.  And I love treks. It feels so good standing at the peak and look around. Effulgence of vista is breathtaking. But I had to cancel. Yesterday I twisted my leg in the train. That gall decision was the start of today.

And to continue, I just got the worse upbraiding in the three years I have had. Stupid mistake and if you are talking to someone who gives marks, its is better to keep quiet. Endure the heckles, cause things may deteriorate if more words are exchanged. And I can bet on me to exacerbate the scene.

After that I just stormed off. Didn’t say a word to anyone. Plugged in earphones and listened to songs and tried not to recollect the words directed at me. I still recollect them, phrases like what sort of upbringing have I had. I am not going to forget that one.

But like how I began the post about BAD things ending, I meant it. The difficult times in the past, I know it gets better. That time there may not any hope but the path is just ahead of you.

And my shame of making that stupid mistake in college was soon eclipsed.

I got my first check. My intern ship’s payment came through. And irrespective of how my temperament was that time, the message of getting paid brought a smile to my face.

First paycheck!!!!

Thanks For Reading
Itsmayurremember

Intense Compulsion


This time I don’t know how to start. Where to start.

Ever did the one thing that made you really angry? You are so angry that you feel like quashing things around to pulp. I know that feeling.

I am feeling it now. I am angry. Because people have a tendency to shout at me. Take me for granted. Demean me.

And I do the only human thing possible. I fulminate back. I don’t know what I say. I just say the first thing that pops in my mind.

My anger is enough to make any words hurtful. Things descend to a more dire state. And after the storm is settled, I realize that I may have said too much.

What choice do I have? Just sit there listen to you scream and shout. No I did that. Never went well. I stand up, but I think I do more damage then.

How am I supposed to know why you are angry? You never say, you expect me to read your mind? Hell as if you know what’s on my mind.

And then as quickly as it boils up, the anger is gone. I don’t know why this happens. The anger is still there, but it passive now. Occupying a place which will be accessed next time I get angry. And I feel the compulsion.

Yes I have really big anger issues. The way my anger swings makes me feel afraid of what all damage I’ll do. And to add to it a completely great combination of pure impulsive mouth. That doesn’t know what needs to be said.

So I fight. More with people who I care about rather than who I don’t. And I hurt them.

And then I do even more stupid stuff. I let my impulses lead me. I do my best to compensate. I FEEL A INSATIABLE NEED TO MAKE YOU UNDERSTAND. MAKE YOU KNOW THAT I DIDN’T WANT TO SAY THAT.

I don’t know if you can comprehend what I am trying to explain. But the best I could tell is this, I don’t know how to change. I don’t know whether you care about me or not. But I want to make you understand.

Understand me, as if that is how I could start to change.

Thanks For Reading
Itsmayurremember

Back in the queue


Daily Prompt
( Back of the Queue

Is there something you’ve always wanted to do, but never got around to starting (an activity, a hobby, or anything else, really)? Tell us about it — and tell us about what’s keeping you from doing it.)

I try. I so try!

When I do something, something I really want to do, something I am really looking forward to, I dive in.

No time for second thoughts, no time for studying the situation. Just dive in headlong. Pure impulse. And I never leave anything behind. I give it my best.

That is something I never got around to change. I don’t know how I’ll do it either. This is me! Impulsive.

Let it anything I end up doing.
Studies.

Friends.

Family.

Work.

Writing now.

And then when I give it so much I expect too much. I am not realistic about it. Not every exam is giving me good grades. Not every friend will always like my habits. Not every time my parents will be happy with what I do.

And not every post will receive great views and likes.( And to think I expect to be freshly pressed!)

That is the second thing. Be realistic. I know I should. But I can’t simply detach myself.

And then there is the favourite archenemy. Whispers in the head. Repeating my past mistakes. Saying I am not good enough. Saying I belong at the back of the queue. And me believing it rather than at me.

Third thing. I really should start believing in myself and my abilities.

Fourth and main thing. Every one of the above leaves me drained. I look and think too much about the future. I ponder too much of my past. I still remember a quote from movie Rang De Basanti

“One leg in the future, one leg in the past. That’s why we are peeing on the present”

That’s what I need to do. Stop peeing on the present. But it is so hard!

Let’s see what others have written:
http://abozdar.wordpress.com/2014/07/01/keeper/
http://abozdar.wordpress.com/2014/07/01/tinker-bells-home/
http://sawyersundries.wordpress.com/2014/07/01/postaday-daily-prompt-5/
http://guthonestfaith.wordpress.com/2014/07/01/preach-it/
http://dragoneystory.wordpress.com/2014/07/01/daily-prompt-life-bucket-list/
http://tuckedintoacorner.wordpress.com/2014/07/01/on-new-things/
http://dragoneystory.wordpress.com/2014/01/29/daily-prompt-write-here-write-now/
http://sbjamestheauthor.wordpress.com/2014/07/01/heres-what-id-really-love-to-get-back-to-doing/
http://randomwritingsofme.wordpress.com/2014/07/01/let-it-shine-through-daily-post/
http://alienorajt.wordpress.com/2014/07/01/stand-up-comedian-thats-me/
http://naziyahmahmood.wordpress.com/2014/07/01/boxing-and-tea-with-muhammad-ali/
http://jitterygt.wordpress.com/2014/07/01/a-toyota-odyssey/
http://bobbeck1600.wordpress.com/2014/07/01/daily-prompt-back-of-the-queue/
http://alanewart.wordpress.com/2014/07/01/back-of-the-queue-the-daily-post/
http://thedespicablehuntress.wordpress.com/2014/07/01/the-daily-post-back-of-the-queue/
http://kartikkotian.wordpress.com/2014/07/01/the-diary/
http://flippyzipflop.wordpress.com/2014/07/01/daily-prompt-back-of-the-queue/
http://fazalabbaswarraich.wordpress.com/2014/07/01/back-of-the-queue-sketching/
http://jaynesdailypost.wordpress.com/2014/07/01/back-of-the-queue/
http://precioussmile04.wordpress.com/2014/07/01/oh-god-please-dont-ask/
http://tombalistreri.wordpress.com/2014/07/01/my-unfulfilled-desire/
http://lovehappynotes.com/2014/06/20/yesterdays-hero/
http://averildean.wordpress.com/2014/07/01/meadow/
A Life to treasure
A better life
http://lovehappynotes.com/2014/06/28/you-are-a-winner/
http://meaningunfolding.wordpress.com/2014/07/01/back-of-the-queue-phd-in-psychology-mindfulness-and-meaning-making-an-existential-analysis-logotherapy/
http://writingpromptsforrookiewriters.wordpress.com/2014/07/01/httpdailypost-wordpress-comdp_promptback-of-the-queue/
http://kansamuse.me/2014/07/01/back-of-the-queue/
Doggie stompin’ on Fear
http://jestpost.wordpress.com/2014/07/01/coding/
http://temporarilyontheshelf.wordpress.com/2014/07/01/407/
http://lovehappynotes.com/2014/07/01/i-believe-in-you/
Where life queue and bucket lists shall meet
http://ramblingonblog.wordpress.com/2014/07/01/martial-arts-and-fear/
http://alotfromlydia.wordpress.com/2014/07/01/why-do-i-live-here-part-ii/
http://nonsmokingladybug.wordpress.com/2014/07/01/me-and-you-2/
http://wangsgard.com/post/backpacking-into-the-wilderness-53318/
Daily Prompt: Back of the Queue – How to be a Failure
http://psibrone.wordpress.com/2014/07/01/right-to-write/
Daily Post: Not so forgotten goals
http://westallhead.wordpress.com/2014/07/01/back-of-the-queue-piano/
http://hooray4rae.wordpress.com/2014/07/01/rock-wall-for-all/

The Things I Never Got Around To


http://underthemonkeytree.com/2014/07/01/last-on-the-to-do-list/
I CAN’T REMEMBER THE DETAILS
http://risingrave28.wordpress.com/2014/07/01/errr-another-hobby-travel-maybe/
http://grieflessons.wordpress.com/2014/07/01/notoriety/
http://flowersandbreezes.wordpress.com/2014/07/01/never-let-them-go/
http://joantatley.wordpress.com/2014/07/01/colored-pencils-mystery/
http://mjamesjackson.wordpress.com/2014/07/01/getting-started-how-to-keep-going/

Thanks For Reading
Itsmayurremember

The Ease of


You are confident.

You are sure.

Everything’s going the way it is supposed to.

And as suddenly as that things change. A mistake here, big or small and everything changes.

Confidence gone, vaporized by a ray gun. Nothing’s sure. Every path holds a appeal. Every path holds a snarl. And a voice appears in you head.

Whispering at first, but soon starts dominating your thoughts. The voice tells you to take the path which you haven’t considered.

Voice exhumes your past. Makes you face your past mistakes. Reminds you of all the failures.

And there is no beating that voice. It says your successes are luck. It wasn’t you, it says, it was beginner’s luck. Not you not you, it repeats. And you believe it. Because somewhere deep you know it is true.

Somewhere deep you fear that maybe it wasn’t me who got things right, maybe it was just dumb luck. Voice wins.

Fear turns to phobia. And it takes a shortcut to doubting yourself. Buried fears mount up by the dozen. Shoulders drop lower that chest. Face buried somewhere in the neck.

Always amazes me. The Ease of falling from confidence and surety to despair.

Thanks For Reading
Itsmayurremember

My Day’s Musings(Attempt at poetry)


Daily prompt
( Rare Medium

Describe a typical day in your life — but do it in a form or in a medium you’ve rarely — if ever – used before. If you’re a photoblogger, write a poem. If you’re a poet, write an open letter. If you’re a travel blogger, write a rant. (These are all examples — choose whatever form you feel like trying out!))

Awake but still somnolent,
Lots to do but indolent.
Yet I can’t help but muse,
What’s the use?

I drag myself and fumble,
And dread every imminent stumble.
Can’t help but feel lost,
But have to put a smug face no matter the cost.

What am I to do? Where do I turn?
In this musing I remain a taciturn.
But can’t muse entire day,
Cause I know at the end I won’t have a say.

So I club all this into pulp,
Chew, ruminate and then gulp.
This diurnal habit brings rage,
But no choice but to lock it in a cage.

Gawk all around,
People with their purpose and destination found.
And the cage rattles,
The desperate attempt and prattles.

I keep myself busy,
Twitter, Facebook, instagram all easy.
Movies, books give me distractions at loan,
Cause honestly I still feel alone.

Can’t help but wonder,
Do people my age ponder?
Or am I just plain weird,
And answer to that is what I feared.

When the cage is just on verge of break,
And the day just couldn’t look more bleak.
I pull myself together,
And become hard as a reptile’s leather.

(I usually write fiction or just a essay/post about the topic. I readily never write poetry, so there may be some mistakel.)

Please do comment and let me know your views.

Let’s see what others have written:
http://abozdar.wordpress.com/2014/06/16/inexplicable-time-space-continuum/
http://abozdar.wordpress.com/2014/06/16/geometry/
http://dragoneystory.wordpress.com/2014/06/17/a-dream-at-the-beach/
http://dragoneystory.wordpress.com/2013/10/22/a-dedication-so-you-may-remember/
http://underthemonkeytree.com/2014/06/17/too-early-for-a-poem/
http://dailymusing57.wordpress.com/2014/06/17/daily-prompt-rare-medium/
http://mjamesjackson.wordpress.com/2014/06/17/7-a-m/
http://journey2dfuture.wordpress.com/2014/06/17/daily-prompt-day12-rare-medium/
Mimi’s Day Summed up in a Haiku
http://kansamuse.me/2014/06/17/garden-flowers/
http://kansamuse.me/2014/06/17/garden-flowers/
http://fibercompulsion.com/2014/06/17/survive-rare-medium/
BRIGHT KITCHEN MORNING – WHERE LIFE BEGINS
http://borderlinepersonalitybliss.wordpress.com/2014/06/17/life-and-death-conversation/
http://spiritgrind.com/2014/06/17/dear-ist/
http://nonsmokingladybug.wordpress.com/2014/06/17/the-right-advice-from-yoda/
http://jandelaforce.wordpress.com/2014/06/18/rare-medium-heres-a-rant/
http://dx0330.wordpress.com/2014/06/17/rare-medium/
http://anonnadutt.wordpress.com/2014/06/17/a-day-in-the-life-of/
http://lovehappynotes.com/2014/06/16/theres-no-place-like-home/
Do You want to know a secret?
http://wangsgard.com/post/a-typical-day-in-the-life-of-me-53108/
http://suestrifles.wordpress.com/2014/06/17/rare-medium/
http://jottingsandwritings.wordpress.com/2014/06/17/dailyprompt-rare-medium/
http://ildiariodicarta.wordpress.com/2014/06/17/rare-medium/
http://jesusgirl7774.wordpress.com/2014/06/17/day-in-the-life/
http://hooray4rae.wordpress.com/2014/06/17/chopin-list/
http://grver.wordpress.com/2014/06/17/rare-medium-video-daily-prompt/
http://jaynesdailypost.wordpress.com/2014/06/17/rare-medium/
http://hopethehappyhugger.wordpress.com/2014/06/17/the-worst-poem-ever-written/
http://mindfuldigressions.com/2014/06/17/a-day-in-the-life/
http://hooray4rae.wordpress.com/2014/06/17/college-corner-ii-weekday-edition/
http://grieflessons.wordpress.com/2014/06/17/medium-rare/
http://darcsunshine.wordpress.com/2014/06/17/the-strength-i-never-had/
http://jackiesworldtravel.com/2014/06/17/jameson/
http://lifeisgreat0.wordpress.com/2014/06/17/rare-medium/
http://theshotgungirls.wordpress.com/2014/06/17/the-typical-day-served-rare-medium/
http://blainecindy.com/2014/06/17/just-another-day/
http://agonyandecstacy.wordpress.com/2014/06/17/an-open-letter-to-my-day/
Daily Prompt: Rare Medium – Hello Mr. Shakespeare
http://marthakennedy.wordpress.com/2014/06/17/thank-you-mr-ginsberg/
http://aerretha.wordpress.com/2014/06/18/hello-may-i-help-you-miss/
http://callmekeira.wordpress.com/2014/06/17/rare-medium/
http://ionanerissa.wordpress.com/2014/06/17/a-typical-day/
http://naziyahmahmood.wordpress.com/2014/06/17/life-cloud/
http://geekergosum.com/2014/06/17/a-day-in-my-life/
http://allthingscuteandbeautiful.wordpress.com/2014/06/17/daily-prompt-being-ranty/
http://livingwithnoexcuses.com/2014/06/17/the-tilted-home/
http://blueloft.wordpress.com/2014/06/17/never-done-that-before/
http://justvisitingthisplanetblog.wordpress.com/2014/06/17/no-longer-alone/
http://mylifeisyoga.wordpress.com/2014/06/17/my-day/
http://thinkingdiagonally.wordpress.com/2014/06/17/start-the-day-out-stinking/
http://dreamlifer.wordpress.com/2014/06/17/another-day-in-paradise/
Do I Have To Stick To A Schedule?
http://20somethingrealism.wordpress.com/2014/06/17/daily-post-rare-medium/
http://duniyaku.wordpress.com/2014/06/18/daily-prompt-rare-medium-a-poet-i-am-not/
http://purplepeninportland.wordpress.com/2014/06/18/dog-rap/
http://lovehappynotes.com/2014/06/18/two-of-us/
http://helenmeikle.wordpress.com/2014/06/18/daily-prompt-hymn-to-the-day/
http://wileyschmidt.com/2014/06/17/a-poem-from-the-ground-up/
http://deanbowman.co/2014/06/17/rar%d3%99-medium/
http://osuzyquilts.wordpress.com/2014/06/17/not-so-typical-day/
http://starrytraveler.wordpress.com/2014/06/17/job-hunter-attempt-at-poetry/
http://starrytraveler.wordpress.com/2014/06/17/rare-medium-poetry/
http://photoartistrycafe.wordpress.com/2014/06/17/daily-prompt-rare-medium/
http://compassandquill.com/redesigning-my-typical-day/
http://thefinickycynicat.wordpress.com/2014/06/17/a-day-in-life-junejour-challenge-day-6/
http://learningneverstops.wordpress.com/2014/06/17/surrounded-by-mirrors/
http://mewhoami.wordpress.com/2014/06/17/my-day-in-rare-poem-style/
http://typosandterseness.com/2014/06/17/extravagance-off-the-mat/
http://audreyhepburnbooks.wordpress.com/2014/06/17/a-typical-day/
http://compassandquill.com/living-alone/
http://robertjepson.wordpress.com/2014/06/17/an-atypical-day/
http://kingdomrichness.wordpress.com/2014/06/17/wheres-your-push/
http://pippakinclawz.wordpress.com/2014/06/17/httpdailypost-wordpress-comdp_promptrare-medium/
http://jeffwithoutwax.wordpress.com/2014/06/17/my-metered-day/

Middle of the Night


http://insach21site.wordpress.com/2014/06/17/a-typical-day/
http://idleandboredtwo.wordpress.com/2014/06/17/daily-prompt-a-typical-day/

Thanks For Reading
Itsmayurremember

Life And Art


(Living Art

One day, your favorite piece of art — a famous painting or sculpture, the graffiti next door — comes to life. What happens next?)

Favourite piece of art comes to life?

A great topic for writing fiction in itself yet I find it a contradiction in itself.

How can art be lifeless?

Art, be a painting or a sculpture or even it be a written article or a poem. How can it be lifeless?

Why is a painting drawn? To capture something. Same goes for photography. Mostly it is to capture life in still.

A sculpture is made in resemblance to a certain life form. Be it an animal or a human, it is made to decorate and increase its appeal.

If art itself is nothing but an attempt to capture life in still, how can it be said art comes to life? Art itself is life.

Every time someone draws a portrait, a life is captured. Thus even the most delicate of lines in the visage are portrayed. The life is being captured. Everything has to be resemble the life itself.

Same goes for sculptures. The inanimate form is said beautiful, elegant and many more names because it is life.

Though you already know this and I am the only one understanding it now. Art is life. That is why walls are being filled with paintings full of colors and Life. That is why sculptures are one of the main attractions anywhere.

Because life attracts life. And as long someone notices these still lifeforms, they remain alive and beating. And as long they are shared they remain what they are, a representation of life.

Let’s see what others have written:
21 Rules to My Life
Dubai Art Season – SIKKA14
http://underthemonkeytree.com/2014/06/09/must-have-happened-to-some-else/
http://ambitiousdrifter.wordpress.com/2014/06/09/daily-prompt-its-alive/
http://worldwidesoulmate.wordpress.com/2014/06/10/living-art-touching-shadow-dance/
http://dragoneystory.wordpress.com/2014/06/09/daily-prompt-living-art/
http://tuckedintoacorner.wordpress.com/2014/06/09/the-cafe/
Living Art
http://furrynuff.wordpress.com/2014/06/09/the-daily-post-living-art/
The Daily Post Writing Prompt: The Pitchfork Murders
http://agirllikemee.wordpress.com/2014/06/09/my-day-with-a-sculpture/
http://jitterygt.wordpress.com/2014/06/09/hope-my-favorite-paintings-dont-come-to-life/
http://abozdar.wordpress.com/2014/06/08/a-glimpse-of-england/
http://abozdar.wordpress.com/2014/06/02/3235/
http://journey2dfuture.wordpress.com/2014/06/09/daily-prompt-day6-living-art/
http://tnkerr.wordpress.com/2014/06/09/daily-prompt-living-art/
http://abimazumdar1.wordpress.com/2014/06/09/daily-prompt-an-interview-with-lisa/
http://dcmontreal.wordpress.com/2014/06/09/abdicating-monarchs-butterflies-and-others/
http://meaningunfolding.wordpress.com/2014/06/09/living-art-michelangelos-david/
http://dragoneystory.wordpress.com/2013/05/09/the-light-of-faith-always-shines-bright/
http://spiritgrind.com/2014/06/09/soulprint-iii-master-piece/
http://agent909.wordpress.com/2014/06/09/living-art-redefining-art-in-daily-usage/
http://grver.wordpress.com/2014/06/09/living-sounds-daily-prompt/
http://herestill.wordpress.com/2014/06/09/daily-prompt-living-art/
SIT! STAY! THINK!
http://mjamesjackson.wordpress.com/2014/06/09/fishing-with-the-fisherman/
http://fibercompulsion.com/2014/06/09/living-art-walking-bear-takes-over/
http://littlegirlstory.wordpress.com/2014/06/10/living-art-my-mothers-day-treat/
http://kansamuse.me/2014/06/09/the-ride-on-the-canal/
http://awanderingstoryteller.wordpress.com/2014/06/09/cupcakes-and-more/
http://legelcas.wordpress.com/2014/06/09/bring-me-to-life/
http://activearmywife.wordpress.com/2014/06/09/bejin-by-david-agenjo/
http://activearmywife.wordpress.com/2014/06/09/bejin-by-david-agenjo/
http://kate0murray.wordpress.com/2014/06/09/stick-man/
http://eyesthroughtheglass.com/2014/06/09/a-chance-to-see-into-the-darkness/
http://marthakennedy.wordpress.com/2014/06/09/art-to-life/
http://pippakinclawz.wordpress.com/2014/06/09/httpdailypost-wordpress-comdp_promptliving-art/
http://justkate914.wordpress.com/2014/06/09/the-daily-post-living-art/
http://idleandboredtwo.wordpress.com/2014/06/09/the-painting/
http://alienorajt.wordpress.com/2014/06/09/morgan-le-fay-daily-prompt/
http://ledrakenoir.wordpress.com/2014/06/09/the-large-studio-of-nature/
http://grieflessons.wordpress.com/2014/06/09/world-like-a-white-stomach/
http://lifeisgreat0.wordpress.com/2014/06/09/living-art/
Daily Post: Living Art – A Journey into the world of Surrealism
http://robertjepson.wordpress.com/2014/06/09/the-forgotten-soldier/
http://pencilnibbler.wordpress.com/2014/06/09/emerging-from-a-painting/
http://dewritermd.wordpress.com/2014/06/09/living-art-and-unnumbered-sparks/
http://jaynesdailypost.wordpress.com/2014/06/09/living-art/
http://artmoscow.wordpress.com/2014/06/09/if-a-nude-gets-alive-she-becomes-naked/
http://justvisitingthisplanetblog.wordpress.com/2014/06/09/life-imitating-art/
http://rainswritingrealm.wordpress.com/2014/06/09/living-art/
http://flowersandbreezes.wordpress.com/2014/06/09/van-goghs-sunflowers/
http://tyrocharm.wordpress.com/2014/06/09/gang-graffiti-unsettlingly-alive/
http://allthingscuteandbeautiful.wordpress.com/2014/06/09/daily-prompt-being-artistic/
http://typosandterseness.com/2014/06/09/is-yoga-art/
http://whoison1st.wordpress.com/2014/06/09/living-art/
http://photoartistrycafe.wordpress.com/2014/06/09/living-art/
http://duniyaku.wordpress.com/2014/06/10/living-art-the-doll-house/
The King Beneath the Mountain of Gold
http://basicallybeyondbasic.com/2014/06/09/daily-prompt-living-art/
SCARE THE KIDDIES
http://nonsmokingladybug.wordpress.com/2014/06/09/lets-see-if-i-got-it-right-in-school-2/
http://eastelmhurstagogo.wordpress.com/2014/06/09/trop-mignon/
http://hooray4rae.wordpress.com/2014/06/09/sorry-chef-boyardee/
http://bylrose.wordpress.com/2014/06/09/adding-the-third-dimension/
http://emotionalfitnesstraining.com/2014/06/09/being-with-monet/
http://thebookreadby1.wordpress.com/2014/06/09/meeting-the-void/
http://reneeandherthoughts.com/2014/06/09/living-art-the-scream/
http://lindalulong.wordpress.com/2014/06/09/permission-love-sex-poetry/
http://polymathically.wordpress.com/2014/06/09/the-winged-not-quite-victory/
http://borderlinepersonalitybliss.wordpress.com/2014/06/09/the-living-art-or-the-art-of-living/
http://theastridoxfordstory.wordpress.com/2014/06/09/living-art/
http://uncustomaryhousewife.wordpress.com/2014/06/09/meetcaptainamerica/
http://greyzr.wordpress.com/2014/06/09/living-art/
http://dailymusing57.wordpress.com/2014/06/09/living-art-the-daily-prompt/
http://myeatprayrvinglife.wordpress.com/2014/06/09/living-art-just-a-pirouette/
http://www.pghlesbian.com/2014/06/comes-to-life-are-you-kidding-me/
http://skybluewithdaisies.wordpress.com/2014/06/10/living-art-nicoletta-ceccolis-delicious-world/
http://korovieva.wordpress.com/2014/06/09/peasant-wedding-are-you-a-boy-or-a-girl/
http://rustyiam.wordpress.com/2014/06/10/dogku/
http://lovehappynotes.com/2014/06/10/whatll-i-do/
http://whenthedoorcloses2014.wordpress.com/2014/06/10/not-til-the-end/
http://purplepeninportland.wordpress.com/2014/06/10/the-night-cafe/

Thanks For Reading
Itsmayurremember

Unexpected Burdens


Daily prompt

(Unsafe Containers

Which emotion(s) — joy, envy, rage, pity, or something else — do you find to be the hardest to contain?)

First:  Thank you, the authors of daily prompts. Somehow you know exactly what I am feeling and you give me an opportunity to share it.

I feel lost. Every direction beckons me, and every direction repels me. I feel like walking down the road where the destination is unknown.

What am I doing I don’t know. Why am I doing them I don’t know either. I am just ‘going with the flow’.

What makes me feel this way? I have my exams going on. And they aren’t going well.

Last exam I scored way better than I expected. Probably the only time I outdid my expectations. And while the ephemeral blithe lasted, I realized that now  the stakes have risen. I CAN’T get any lesser than that, and I have to get better this time.

I know what people will say. ‘You did it last time, be happy’, ‘Come on you are a scholar, you can do it’, and the favourite of theirs ‘Don’t lie dude’

Well I am not lying. No I can’t lie now. Partly I blame this blog because after being so blunt and honest it is quite difficult to go and lie pretend. But I am saying this honestly, I was more tensed this time, during this exam than most of exams.

I know it is stupid. I know I made a big deal of them this time, when I should have just relaxed and prepared like every other exam. I couldn’t.

So if any of you reader ever meets any ‘nerd’ or ‘scholar’ and that person happens to say he is tensed, I ask of you to refrain yourself from commenting stupid things if you don’t believe him. Because, although I don’t know the tension and pressure of giving a reexam after failing, you don’t know the pressure of repeating your best performance, let alone beating your best.

And because of this I can say, things didn’t go smoothly. I messed up more than one paper. Overconfidence, ego and pride took their shares. And now I am left with only two papers this time.

I don’t think I’ll come close to my goal this time. I don’t believe I will. Four out of six papers weren’t up to the mark. And now I am tired. The pressure is gone because I know that I have lost my chance. And I am left wondering whether I should try my best. Whether it is still worth giving my best.

This is just a question whose answer I know. I am still giving my best. I have to, no choice. And that makes it more disappointing because I know it isn’t enough. No matter how many sleepless nights I spend now is not enough.

I am not enough.

And now as I took a small hiatus from my studies I realized that this is how I always felt. No matter how many feats I accomplished, no matter how much I know, or how much knowledge I attain, I am still not going to feel it is enough.

It will never be up to the mark. I will always feel like there was something more I could do. And then the cycle of self blame and criticism begins.

image

And trust me I know how bad this kind of thinking is. It doesn’t help. It just leads down a bottomless dark chasm on whose fringes I have always walked.
And considering the novel I last read I already know the answer to that.

From Stephan R Donaldson’s Fatal Revenant:

When all hope was gone, they heeded the counsels of despair. Had they continued to strive, defying their doom, some unforseen wonder might have occurred. And if it did not, still their glory would have surpassed their failure.

So here’s the answer daily prompt. I can’t shut up when I am upset. When I am low. I choose to sequester myself at these times. And I know I am not gonna change. Something I have to learn to change.

Let’s see what others have written.
Wedding in Four Points by Sheraton, Dubai – Shama & Shahid
http://jcm3blog.wordpress.com/2014/06/04/thoughts-on-bottled-up-emotions/
http://throtherye.wordpress.com/2014/06/04/the-least-containable-emotion-i-have-found-to-not-even-be-an-emotion/
Knowing when to Quit
http://lovehappynotes.com/2014/05/23/congratulations-youve-left-your-comfort-zone/
http://lovehappynotes.com/2014/05/31/smudged/
It’s up to you
http://thelifeillusion.wordpress.com/2014/06/03/say-anything/
http://purvakalra5.wordpress.com/2014/06/04/uncontained-happiness/
http://asqueezeofbliss.wordpress.com/2014/06/04/being-animated/
http://cabinpressuremaychange.wordpress.com/2014/06/03/daily-prompt-no-footholds-here/
http://katalizilo.wordpress.com/2014/06/04/i-am-volatile/
http://basicallybeyondbasic.com/2014/06/03/daily-prompt-unsafe-containers/
http://jaynesdailypost.wordpress.com/2014/06/03/unsafe-containers/
http://marcimentalhealthmore.com/2014/06/03/wordpress-prompt-unsafe-containers/
http://nanasgotablog.com/2014/06/03/rage-tangles-homelessness/
http://djgarcia94.wordpress.com/2014/06/03/rage-in-a-can/
http://writingpromptsfordailywriting.wordpress.com/2014/06/04/is-it-safe/
http://lettersfromlinz.wordpress.com/2014/06/03/containing-emotion/
http://bylrose.wordpress.com/2014/06/03/no-holds-barred/
http://destinationkarma.wordpress.com/2014/06/04/grasping-at-joy/
Daily Post: The Rage to Live!
http://glenn2point0.wordpress.com/2014/06/04/life-119-daily-prompt-hard-to-control-emotions/
Unsafe Containers: Daily Prompt
http://goinroguedotnet.com/2014/06/03/unsafe-containers/
http://ilenelocke.wordpress.com/2014/06/04/writing-101-cracked-vessel/
http://herestill.wordpress.com/2014/06/03/daily-prompt-which-emotion-do-you-find-hardest-to-contain/
http://typosandterseness.wordpress.com/2014/06/03/irritation-on-the-mat-daily-prompt-3/
http://mydeliblog.wordpress.com/2014/06/03/what-i-cant-contain/
http://littlemotivations.wordpress.com/2014/06/03/unsafe-containers-the-damp-squib-effect/
Too Many Faces
http://anotherboomerblog.wordpress.com/2014/06/03/unsafe-containers/
http://borderlinepersonalitybliss.wordpress.com/2014/06/03/the-unsafe-container-of-emotions/

Pittsburgh Dyke and Trans March Set for Sat June 21 in Bloomfield


http://margaretrosestringer.com/2014/06/04/daily-prompt-unsafe-containers/
http://ullisinstamoments.wordpress.com/2014/06/03/croc-skull-in-a-container/
A Lid on My Emotions
http://kindlingword.com/2014/06/03/cache-me-if-you-can/
http://insach21site.wordpress.com/2014/06/03/unsafe-containers/
http://lenzexperiments.wordpress.com/2014/06/04/wpc-split-second-story/
http://nalaikpanda.wordpress.com/2014/06/03/unsafe-containers/
http://advocateofentropy.wordpress.com/2014/06/03/living-with-social-dysfunction/
http://professoradrstilettorockstar.wordpress.com/2014/06/03/770/
http://randomlyrandomthoughts365.wordpress.com/2014/06/03/unsafe-containers/
http://srollinson7.wordpress.com/2014/06/03/masking-my-emotions/
http://melissaholden.wordpress.com/2014/06/03/unsafe-containers-hard-to-contain-emotions/
http://grieflessons.wordpress.com/2014/06/03/the-daily-post-envy/
http://rebeccaraelyn.wordpress.com/2014/06/03/glass-case-of-emotion/
http://pippakinclawz.wordpress.com/2014/06/03/httpdailypost-wordpress-comdp_promptunsafe-containers/
http://thecowboyslady.wordpress.com/2014/06/03/uncontained/
http://learningneverstops.wordpress.com/2014/06/03/unsafe-container-for-happiness/
http://blueyesterday.wordpress.com/2014/06/03/your-place-setting-is-gone/
http://flowersandbreezes.wordpress.com/2014/06/03/joy-and-anger/
http://naziyahmahmood.wordpress.com/2014/06/03/best-thing-to-wear-is-that-smile/
http://usedstamp.wordpress.com/2014/06/03/cant-let-anyone-know-i-am-one-crazy-b-bean/
http://www.comingoutblack.com/stubborn-pride/
Daily Prompt: Unsafe Containers or how I cope with life’s small problems
http://focalbreeze.wordpress.com/2014/06/03/time-bomb/
http://www.prayersandpromises.org/seeds-of-hope-for-your-disappointments/
http://bohemianstargypsy.wordpress.com/2014/06/03/224/
http://spiritgrind.com/2014/06/03/chamber-music/
http://rainswritingrealm.wordpress.com/2014/06/03/im-like-a-cannon/
http://cockatooscreeching.wordpress.com/2014/06/04/the-unsafe-containment-of-anxiousness/
http://diannethornton.wordpress.com/2014/06/03/daily-writing-prompt-2-unsafe-containers/
http://marthakennedy.wordpress.com/2014/06/03/dont-let-fire-rush-to-your-head/
http://lifeisgreat0.wordpress.com/2014/06/03/joy-and-sadness/
http://torschlusspanic.wordpress.com/2014/06/03/unsafe-containers/
http://themisfitscloset.wordpress.com/2014/06/03/unsafe-containers-grief/
http://eastelmhurstagogo.wordpress.com/2014/06/03/i-see-the-voice-of-rage-and-ruin/
http://legelcas.wordpress.com/2014/06/03/aint-it-obvious/
http://tyrocharm.wordpress.com/2014/06/03/got-apprehension/
http://robertjepson.wordpress.com/2014/06/03/emotions/
http://photoartistrycafe.wordpress.com/2014/06/03/containment-of-self-confidence/
http://worldwidesoulmate.wordpress.com/2014/06/04/unsafe-containers-please-dont-hurt-me/
http://meaningunfolding.wordpress.com/2014/06/03/the-daily-post-unsafe-containers-anger/
Unsafe Containers – Schoolroom vignette
http://allthingscuteandbeautiful.wordpress.com/2014/06/03/daily-prompt-being-emotional/
http://sweattearsanddigitalink.com/2014/06/03/motivating-your-characters-emotions/
http://jandelaforce.wordpress.com/2014/06/04/cant-keep-joy/
http://outlookoutlet.wordpress.com/2014/06/03/this-masquerading-host/
http://whoison1st.wordpress.com/2014/06/03/unsafe-containers/
http://aimanpeer.wordpress.com/2014/06/03/i-dont-have-a-container/

Unsafe Containers


http://idleandboredtwo.wordpress.com/2014/06/03/let-it-all-out/
http://sefertj.com/2014/06/03/unsafe-containers/
http://shameport.wordpress.com/2014/06/03/620/
http://weedytan.wordpress.com/2014/06/03/anger/
http://abozdar.wordpress.com/2014/06/02/3235/
http://abozdar.wordpress.com/2014/06/03/eternal/
http://reneeandherthoughts.com/2014/06/03/unsafe-containers/
http://agent909.wordpress.com/2014/06/03/unsafe-containers-feeling-happiness-overloaded/
RAGE AT THE DYING OF THE LIGHT
http://keyboardpizza.wordpress.com/2014/06/03/unsafe-containers/
http://ahillbillyblogger.wordpress.com/2014/06/03/unsafe-containers-anger/
http://kansamuse.me/2014/06/03/before-it-controls-you/
Green-Eyed Monster: Daily Post
http://prideinmadness.wordpress.com/2014/06/03/the-daily-post-unsafe-containers/
http://activearmywife.wordpress.com/2014/06/03/emotions-anticipation/
http://fibercompulsion.com/2014/06/03/unsafe-container-for-depression/
http://grver.wordpress.com/2014/06/03/unsafe-containers-daily-prompt/
http://purplesus.wordpress.com/2014/06/03/unsafe-containers/
http://alviewaterslife.wordpress.com/2014/06/03/red/
http://abimazumdar1.wordpress.com/2014/06/03/daily-prompt-rage-rage-rage/
http://agirllikemee.wordpress.com/2014/06/03/my-unsafe-container/
http://sincerelyherz.wordpress.com/2014/04/28/envy-an-original-poem/
http://jitterygt.wordpress.com/2014/06/03/11752/
http://journey2dfuture.wordpress.com/2014/06/03/daily-prompt-day2-unsafe-containers/
http://dragoneystory.wordpress.com/2014/06/03/true-strength/
http://mcswhispers.wordpress.com/2014/01/30/goosfraba/
http://dragoneystory.wordpress.com/2014/06/03/daily-prompt-containers/
http://tuckedintoacorner.wordpress.com/2014/06/03/one-deadly-sin/
http://itsmatthewburgos.wordpress.com/2014/06/03/wont-let-it-daily-prompt/

Thanks For Reading
Itsmayurremember

Liebster award!


Liebster Award is given to bloggers by other bloggers. It is a great way to connect with new bloggers, and to welcome them to the blogosphere.

image

(Here are the rules:

1. Link back to the blogger who nominated you.

2. Answer the 11 questions given to you by the blogger who nominated you.

3. Nominate 11 other bloggers with less than 200 followers.

4. Go to the blogs you nominated and notify them of your nomination.

5. Give your nominees 11 questions to answer.)

This is my post:

I was nominated by Veda whose blog you SHOULD check out, its amazing.

These are my answers to the questions asked:

1. Why did you start writing a blog?

I always liked writing. A friend of mine told me to start blogging. She said I am good and blog is a platform for me to show my talents and develop.

2. If given chance, which fantasy world would you like to live in and why?

This is easy. Harry Potter’s world. Who doesn’t want to do magic.

3. What was your first post on your blog?

It was called Ephemeral Feelings and it was about about my state after my results were declared.

4. What is your take on live in relations?
Live in relationships are good place to start and see how much committed you are in relationship, how compatible you are with your partner.

5. Which is your favorite book and why?
Easy. Crippled God, book 10 of Malazan Book Of The Fallen series by Steven Erikson.

Also How to kill a Mocking Bird.

6. Do you believe in love at first sight? 

Don’t know.

7. The top 5 destinations you want to cover in your life. 

New York, London, Sydney, Leh and Himalayas.

8. Which of your childhood memory is the prettiest one, please brief. 

Don’t remember.

9. What’s the thing you wanted most in your life? 

To buy a cottage/farm house by myself.

10. Which incident has touched you most in your life? 

The night when I was walking and I saw a stray puppy being run over by a speeding car.
My grandmothers (both) funerals.

11. What’s your relaxing mantra?
Before I listened to songs. Slept.
Now I don’t have any.

People who I nominate:
1. Mitra Archita
2. Gaurav Deshpande
3.litdoolan
4.Akriti Mattu
5.Crysta Icore
6.Ambika
7.Easter Ellen
8.A Holistic Journey
9.300 Stories
10.Kait Mauro
11.Our Front Door
12. Scott Dannemiller

Now as far as your questions:

1. What’s your relaxing mantra?

2. Which incident has touched you most in your life?

3. What’s the thing you wanted most in your life?

4. Which of your childhood memory is the prettiest one, please brief.

5. The top 5 destinations you want to cover in your life.

6. Your favourite movie

7. Which is your favorite book and why?

8. What was your first post on your blog?

9. If given chance, which fantasy world would you like to live in and why?

10. Why did you start writing a blog?

11. Your favourite quote from movie/book.

Thanks For Reading
Itsmayurremember

That Night….


Daily Prompt

(Pick Your Gadget

Your local electronics store has just started selling time machines, anywhere doors, and invisibility helmets. You can only afford one. Which of these do you buy, and why?

(Thanks, atana’s world!, for inspiring this prompt!))

Time Machine.

Like three and half or more years ago I was walking my dog. My dog was still a pup then and he used to play a lot, running around the house like a lunatic, biting and chewing down every thing he could grab on with his mouth. He was full of energy and at that time(and till today and maybe forever) I called him my most prized possession.

But this isn’t about my dog. That day I saw something that is seared into my memory, still today burning hot.

I saw a swaying, speeding car coming down the road. I couldn’t see who was behind the wheel but my brain always fit there a youngster. Always.

I saw that car speeding and then running over a pup. A small pup that you could hold in your palm. Who looked like my dog. I still remember the whimper that escaped my throat when I saw that. I don’t know whether the pup had time to make a grasp or sound of pain.

All I saw was the pup, a second ago like any other stray pup, now no more then a inanimate body.

It took a second for me to turn and shout that bastard driver to stop. I would have hit him, fought with him if he would have stopped the car. He didn’t stop.

But in that one second I saw the scene repeat in my memory a thousand times. I imagined the look of pain in that pups face. I know that isn’t possible but I saw it. And every replay of gruesome scene made it more filled with anguish.

But nothing could have prepared me for what came next.

I saw the pups mother(I think so) come running. And the mere sight broke me. And then she howled. She barked. She nudged the body with her nose, trying to wake him up.

She seemed like crying. It was like a scene of a funeral. I may be imagining this but I could understand the raw cries of mourning there.

The mother turned in circles, barked at every moving human as if demanding answers, demanding explanation for what had happened to her pup.

I moved the dead and brought it to the side of the road. My dog was also curious to what happened.

I want a time machine. I want to go back to that night. I want to pick that pup before he is run over. I want to hit that guy senseless before he gets into his car.

I don’t care how it changes things. I don’t care about anything else, I just want to go back to that day and change it.

IT DOESN’T MATTER IF IT WAS A DOG. SOME ONE SO YOUNG DOESN’T DESERVE TO DIE LIKE THAT. LET IT BE A HUMAN, DOG, OR CAT. ANY LIVING BEING.

Life is life. No matter in any form.
Continue reading “That Night….”

I got better than Expected!


Daily prompt

A year ago. Things were different.

I liked writing, but I hardly showed anyone. I wrote fictions and I kept it in my cupboard. And then I lost the books in which I wrote.

I had so many ideas, penned down so many of them. I even had many ideas for writing a novels. Many ideas for novels. Never did I complete one, though I did try to write something.

I decided to complete one novel by February this year. That was my new years resolution.

I couldn’t. I couldn’t even finish four chapters.

But I don’t regret it. Because now I blog!

Many people told me to blog. I have read about it, and as I was always interested in writing I always considered it an alternative. But I never tried it. Guess I always thought of writing novels better.

I couldn’t be more wrong. Blogging is fun! Its easy, I could write about my day, I could read about other people’s day. I could write fictions, read other people’s fiction.

When stuck on what to write I could get inspired by other people’s blog. Or get inspired by a song, or by any thing and just write.

And what’s better, I am learning to write. Writing isn’t something that requires some time to think and strategize. It comes easily, that I complete a post while travelling.

I am no longer worried about expressing my thoughts. I know and I have read about other people expressing ideas that are analogous. You would be surprised the similarity between their posts and mine.

I no longer have to be choosy about my words, even the usual problem of being misunderstood seems to be degenerating and maybe I am becoming a better communicator. I hope.

This is not a post if regret, but rather a post of joy of finding something better.

Let’s see what others have written:

http://angelocrux.wordpress.com/2014/04/02/of-mountains-and-goals/
http://professoradrstilettorockstar.wordpress.com/2014/05/20/pizza-my-heart/
http://professoradrstilettorockstar.wordpress.com/2014/05/20/pizza-my-heart/
http://fabulouswitfeyz.wordpress.com/2014/05/20/daily-post-great-expectations/
http://ahillbillyblogger.wordpress.com/2014/05/20/great-expectations/
VITAL ORGANS WILL PLEASE REMAIN VITAL
http://lifeisgreat0.wordpress.com/2014/05/20/just-keep-swimming/
http://atrulymovingstory.wordpress.com/2014/04/16/a-germ-of-an-idea/
http://mauldinfamily1.wordpress.com/2014/05/20/the-daily-post-great-expectations/
http://rainswritingrealm.wordpress.com/2014/05/20/daily-prompt-great-expectations/
http://rheyofsunshine.wordpress.com/2014/05/20/great-expectation-a-healthy-mind-body-and-soul/
http://notapunkrocker.wordpress.com/2014/05/20/five-months-into-the-year/
http://angryfishrants.wordpress.com/2014/05/20/dailypost-great-expectations/
http://renew2014.wordpress.com/2014/05/20/failed-resolutions/
http://willowscottling.wordpress.com/2014/05/20/to-a-mouse/
http://marthakennedy.wordpress.com/2014/05/20/the-line-tight-or-slack/
http://lifeofloww.com/2014/05/20/great-expectations-prioritize-love/
http://whoison1st.wordpress.com/2014/05/20/champagne-wishes-caviar-dreams/
http://jackiesworldtravel.com/2014/05/20/czech-republic-affordable-and-worth-it/
http://ennismismith.wordpress.com/2014/05/20/following-through-on-the-promises/
http://thebohemianrockstarpresents.wordpress.com/2014/05/20/bachelors-or-bust/
http://divyaprakashsrivastava98.wordpress.com/2014/05/21/181/
http://jessemholmes.wordpress.com/2014/05/20/41/
http://gerriblue.wordpress.com/2014/05/20/month-1-check/
http://anauthorandwriterinprogress.wordpress.com/2014/05/20/holy-great-expectations-a-daily-prompt-post/
http://schattenengel.wordpress.com/2014/05/20/a-levels-i-am-coming/
http://purvakalra5.wordpress.com/2014/05/21/new-year-resolutions/
http://myrandomthoughts365.wordpress.com/2014/05/20/great-expectations/
http://jaynesdailypost.wordpress.com/2014/05/20/great-expectations-2/
http://vivhtaylor.wordpress.com/2014/05/20/passion-into-profession/
http://learningneverstops.wordpress.com/2014/05/20/daily-prompt-great-expeectations

Thanks For Reading
Itsmayurremember

To the Men I Never Met


Daily Prompt

(Modern Families

If one of your late ancestors were to come back from the dead and join you for dinner, what things about your family would this person find the most shocking?)

image

This is the kind of thing I hardly talk about, so this is difficult.

My Grandfathers. From both my parent’s side.

I never met any of them. I do want to meet them.

I heard from others about their grandfather. How much they adored them. How much they admire them. I have seen them broken up when they lost they adored. I saw my best friend lose his grandfather a day before my friends birthday.

They cried. I tried to console. But I couldn’t. I don’t know that feeling. Never had that person in my life. Never heard his voice, never heard his laughter, never had his blessing, never. Too many things I never will know.

It is like never having something and yet missing with such anguish.

My father never says much about his father. From what all he has spoken, I saw some pain in his face, I heard admiration in his voice.

My mother talks about her father. My mom never met him on his last days. She was hours late. And she stills regret it.

I want to meet my grandfathers. I want to know them. I want to see them. I want to be rapt by their stories of my parents’ childhood. I want to hear their version of events.

I want to meet my father’s role model. I want to meet my mothers strength.

I want to to meet the men who made my parents what they are today.

Or I simply want to be at the same dining table with them, while my parents sit with me and my brother.

Something I’ll never have.

Let’s see who others want to share:
http://lindaswritingblog.wordpress.com/2014/05/15/daily-prompt-modern-families/
Daily Prompt: Modern Families and no connection available on the daily prompt.
http://bumblepuppies.wordpress.com/2014/05/15/prejudice-insults-my-intelligence/
http://easterellen.com/2014/05/15/a-visit-from-grandma/
http://flowersandbreezes.wordpress.com/2014/05/15/a-life-so-changed/
http://mitraarchita1995.wordpress.com/2014/05/15/generation-gap-daily-prompt/
http://teepee12.com/2014/05/15/oy-vay-guess-whos-coming-to-dinner/
http://silentlyheardonce.wordpress.com/2014/05/15/mom-visits-from-heaven-modern-families/
http://rheyofsunshine.wordpress.com/2014/05/16/modern-families-a-visit-from-my-grandpa/
http://idleandboredtwo.wordpress.com/2014/05/15/modern-families/
http://cateritforward.wordpress.com/2014/05/15/potlikker-with-the-kingfish/
http://professoradrstilettorockstar.wordpress.com/2014/05/15/late-for-dinner/
http://allthingscuteandbeautiful.wordpress.com/2014/05/15/daily-prompt-being-modern/
http://tnkerr.wordpress.com/2014/05/15/daily-prompt-modern-families/
http://cindyshea.wordpress.com/2014/05/15/modern-families-daily-prompt/
http://mitraarchita1995.wordpress.com/2014/05/16/someone-special-for-dinner/
http://marthakennedy.wordpress.com/2014/05/15/great-x-17-uncle-thomas/
http://jaynesdailypost.wordpress.com/2014/05/15/modern-families/
http://willowscottling.wordpress.com/2014/05/15/2342/
A Bottle of Ketchup
http://dragoneystory.wordpress.com/2014/05/15/daily-prompt-ancestry/
http://livinglearningandlettinggo.wordpress.com/2014/05/15/9-reasons-my-ancestor-would-return-to-their-grave/
http://lifeofloww.com/2014/05/15/modern-families-the-bloodline-is-tainted/
A visit from my Pathan ancestor…

Diverse Family


http://djgarcia94.wordpress.com/2014/05/15/no-table-for-starters/
http://myrandomthoughts365.wordpress.com/2014/05/15/modern-families/
http://bobbeck1600.wordpress.com/2014/05/15/daily-prompt-modern-families/
http://lifeisgreat0.wordpress.com/2014/05/15/history/
http://eastelmhurstagogo.wordpress.com/2014/05/15/that-was-then-this-is-now/
http://kurtengel18.wordpress.com/2014/05/15/daily-promptbeing-modern/
http://thetravellingtiles.wordpress.com/2014/05/15/modern-families/
http://mirakraz.wordpress.com/2014/05/15/mongrel/
http://seikaiha.wordpress.com/2014/05/15/daily-prompt-modern-families/
http://itsmatthewburgos.wordpress.com/2014/05/15/killed-daily-prompt/
http://buffguyguideblog.wordpress.com/2014/05/16/i-own-an-apron-a-steam-iron-and-i-am-a-man/
http://underthemonkeytree.com/2014/05/15/read-think-eat/
http://lovehappynotes.com/2014/05/16/friday-funny/
http://taswegian57.wordpress.com/2014/05/16/daily-prompt-modern-families/
http://kansamuse.me/2014/05/15/ancestors-for-dinner/
http://mariemba.wordpress.com/2014/05/15/feh-what-is-this/
http://lazymoan.com/2014/05/16/umm-who-let-the-white-folks-in/
http://www.rejoicebeloved.com/the-stranger-photograph/
http://goinroguedotnet.com/2014/05/15/modern-families/
http://magoo45.wordpress.com/2014/05/16/me-and-dandy-tompkins/
http://10eveningflowers.wordpress.com/2014/05/16/1519/

To my fellow Commuters


Daily Prompt

(The Kindness of Strangers

When was the last time a stranger did something particularly kind, generous, or selfless for you? Tell us what happened!)

He climbed on to the bus and scanned around for a seat. There was none. He was an old fellow, with stooped posture, few grey hair on his balding scalp and had two bags of grocery in his hands which didn’t look so heavy, but for him the burden looked too much.

Before I could get up and offer my seat to the said elderly some other guy in proximity did. And as the elderly sat down with a rush, and sighed audibly with relief, I saw the other guy smile.

image

This act is very common if you are a frequent traveller like me. People offering their seats to old men, old women, female passengers (the sentence is “ladies is there, seat”), and mostly pregnant and mothers with small toddlers.

And this is done in every single compartment, every single bus route. And it is entirely voluntary. (Sometimes though it isn’t as some have to be told to get up.)

And the answering murmured thanks and smiles are exchanged. Always. I have done this. Sometimes while studying in trains I’m offered seats and asked about my course.

These are strangers who do this. Strangers who help, who receive help. They may get off at the same station but they still assist.

This is local travels of Mumbai. Thousands of commuters travel to and fro from college, work. They(myself included) do the same travel every day. Know the tiredness we feel. And along the way they do this.

And it got me thinking why do this? Only then that I realized this is in fact the most basic(smallest) amount of kindness we could do.

Showing kindness to strangers. I realize this that it is only way kindness can be shown. I mean from my examples why are those things done? Nothing is gained.

When you assisting a stranger, you only expect a Thank You. And as it is received there is an automatic smile spreading across your face. You may never see that person again(This is Mumbai, you mostly won’t). But yet you help.

And that is according to me the most artless and selfless form of help. There is expectations, the person is not beholden,  and there is no master plan in it(I’m seeing too many movies to think this way).

And this is what I told my friend the other day, I’m gonna share it here too:
If you want to smile, first make others smile.

A quote from Evan Almighty:

God: How do you change the world?

Evan: One single act of random kindness at a time.

Let’s see what other have written:

http://kurtengel18.wordpress.com/2014/05/12/daily-postthe-kindness-of-strangers/
http://averyessmin.wordpress.com/2014/05/12/the-kindness-of-strangers-mom-shop/
http://yorkhull.wordpress.com/2014/05/12/blown-tyres/
http://jeyyd.wordpress.com/2014/04/29/quick-post/
http://professoradrstilettorockstar.wordpress.com/2014/05/12/just-a-nice-gesture/
http://shetall.wordpress.com/2014/05/12/745/
http://ollienumberseven.wordpress.com/2014/05/12/large-chair-seeks-small-car-for-fun/
http://lovehappynotes.com/2014/05/12/what-a-fool-believes/
http://rustyiam.wordpress.com/2014/05/12/the-strangest-of-kindnesses/
http://lynan.wordpress.com/2013/01/25/angels-without-wings/
http://barbarapyett.wordpress.com/2014/05/12/httpdailypost-wordpress-comdp_promptthe-kindness-of-strangers/
http://quandoporcivolare.wordpress.com/2014/05/11/daily-prompt-stranger-stranger/
mothers
http://omasuino.wordpress.com/2014/05/12/the-umbrella-girl-a-kind-stranger/
http://spiritgrind.com/2014/05/11/i-wonder-if-god-has-a-mother/
http://eastelmhurstagogo.wordpress.com/2014/05/11/good-strangers/
Kindness of Strangers Daily Post
http://c21stguinevere.wordpress.com/2014/05/11/in-response-to-3/
The Kindness of Strangers
The helpfulness of swearing up a storm and using vibrating pills: This week’s weird news around the globe
Kindness of Strangers, Again : Daily Post
http://ithacadreaming.wordpress.com/2014/05/11/the-kindness-of-strangers/
http://vmtranblog.wordpress.com/2014/05/11/daily-prompt-the-kindness-of-strangers/
http://learningneverstops.wordpress.com/2014/05/11/the-kindness-of-strangers-my-teachers-daily-prompt/
http://kosheradobo.com/2014/05/11/how-where-are-you-from-can-save-a-life/
http://goinroguedotnet.com/2014/05/11/the-kindness-of-strangers/
http://allthingscuteandbeautiful.wordpress.com/2014/05/11/daily-prompt-being-helped/
http://shrineofhecate.wordpress.com/2014/05/11/how-battles-are-won/
http://beingchelle.wordpress.com/2014/04/25/be-kind-its-free/
http://myatheistblog.com/2014/05/11/the-kindness-of-strangers/
http://lynnesartandsoul.wordpress.com/2014/05/11/the-unkindness-of-strangers/
http://myrandomthoughts365.wordpress.com/2014/05/11/the-kindness-of-strangers/
http://aedmonds315dotcom.wordpress.com/2014/05/11/daily-prompt-the-kindness-of-strangers/
http://marthakennedy.wordpress.com/2014/05/11/hide-the-diaphragm-helen/
http://itsmesagar.wordpress.com/2014/05/11/a-stranger-who-changed-my-life/
http://cagedbutterfly1.wordpress.com/2014/05/11/what-kind-of-stranger-are-you/
http://idleandboredtwo.wordpress.com/2014/05/11/kindness-of-strangers-daily-prompt/
http://kevindeisher.wordpress.com/2014/05/11/296-the-kindness-of-strangers/
http://silentlyheardonce.wordpress.com/2014/05/11/snail-mail-surprise-the-kindness-of-strangers/
http://malavika3076.wordpress.com/2014/05/11/help-at-the-price-of-chocolate/
http://emilykarn.wordpress.com/2014/05/11/good-manners/
Daily Prompt: The Kindness of Strangers?
http://babygatesdown.wordpress.com/2014/05/11/happy-mothers-day/
http://jottingsandwritings.wordpress.com/2014/05/11/dailyprompt-kindness-of-strangers/
http://ccchampagne.wordpress.com/2014/05/11/the-kindness-of-strangers-essay/
http://melissaholden.wordpress.com/2014/05/11/the-kindess-of-strangers-daily-prompt/
http://garridon.wordpress.com/2014/05/11/kindness-in-washington-dc-is-an-infrequent-thing/
http://myinvisiblecrown.org/2014/05/11/a-strangers-heart/
http://shameport.wordpress.com/2013/08/24/the-buried-cleaning-lady-at-bamba-mall/
KINDNESS FROM STRANGERS — WHEN IT MATTERS
http://thebohemianrockstarpresents.wordpress.com/2014/05/11/the-kindness-of-strangers/
http://aimanpeer.wordpress.com/2014/05/11/whoa-kindness-no-ways-man/
http://speculativeparadigmshifts.wordpress.com/2014/05/11/943/
http://pippakinclawz.wordpress.com/2014/05/11/the-kindness-of-strangers/
http://asqueezeofbliss.wordpress.com/2014/05/11/that-friendly-piece-of-advise/
http://jaynesdailypost.wordpress.com/2014/05/11/the-kindness-of-strangers/
http://flowersandbreezes.wordpress.com/2014/05/11/the-kindness-of-strangers/
http://agent909.wordpress.com/2014/05/11/the-kindness-of-strangers-faith-in-humanity-restored/
http://cathysikorski.wordpress.com/2014/03/14/what-do-a-pediatrician-and-blanche-dubois-have-in-common/
http://asqueezeofbliss.wordpress.com/2013/05/05/a-chip-on-my-shoulder/
http://cxianliu.wordpress.com/2014/05/10/a-precious-smile/
http://jitterygt.wordpress.com/2014/05/11/11563/
http://tonkadella.wordpress.com/2011/11/14/the-other-way-around/
The Kindness of Strangers
http://risingrave28.wordpress.com/2014/05/11/ludic-memories-simple-things/
http://itsmatthewburgos.wordpress.com/2014/05/11/when-whats-needed-was-a-peso/
http://kate0murray.wordpress.com/2014/05/11/smile/
A Girl Should be 2 Things….
http://sincerelyherz.wordpress.com/2014/05/10/a-proposal-does-not-need-a-ring-fact/
http://sincerelyherz.wordpress.com/2014/05/11/acts-of-kindness/

Lessons Given & Received


Writing challenge

( Student versus Teacher

Throughout our lives, we play the role of both student and teacher many times, and in many forms. As a child, you watch your parents, siblings, and friends for cues on how to interact, speak, and communicate. Later, you may attend school, vocational courses, or university.

As we grow older, we also find that we’ve transitioned into the role of a teacher, as well. As a parent, you teach your children about the world around them, and why things happen the way they do. As a colleague, you teach your coworkers how to become a better version of their professional selves.

Despite this, we are never no longer a student, since there’s always more to learn.)

The challengers are giving this challenge this time. I have my exams coming up in the week and here goes the schedule of learning, revising and teaching(helping) friends.

I have friend who teach better than I do. I have friend who is so tensed before the exam he can’t teach. And then there are some who look so relaxed at the times of exams that makes me want to shout “Aren’t you supposed to be tensed?”

First, teaching is wonderful profession. How do I know? Because my mom is a teacher for the past ten years now. And no matter the stress, or the encumber she has, she insists on continuing her job. And before I hardly understood why she is insisting on continuing her job, I understand now.

Along the way I started teaching too. But that doesn’t mean I want to pick this up as a profession. In India it is hardly respected, hardly rewarding and (being one) I know students don’t want any teachers in college.

These are the things about teaching as I understand:

1) Teaching comes easy to me. I like teaching (or helping out you may say). And it is also a great revision of what all I have studied.

2) There is nothing like it. When you do spend time teaching(helping) people you do get involved. So the first question that comes out of your mouth after the exam is “How was your exam?” You want them to get great marks. It is not just their hard work in it, also some of yours.

3) Once you make a group of people you study with, people who you help and receive help from it is a little hard to adjust to other groups. And honestly it is not nice finding them studying with others.

4) You want to get good grades, not just for yourself but for your entire group.

5) Teaching may backfire. Something you say wrong or something is partially understood may cause them to answer wrong. And then blame is on you. Nothing worse than spending time teaching and then being blamed for the mistake.

6) If you are anything like me then most of the time after you are done helping out, sometimes your eagerness to help is perceived as arrogance.  I have had people say that I am arrogant and know it all. Though it may be because I brag (bragging is fun when you are not taking me seriously). But if you are reading this, undermining others is not my intent.

Now studies is the only thing I can teach, I should teach. I am good in studying. But that is not the only there is, is there? There my role changes. I am a student here.

I have a lot to learn. I read a post that made me realize that maybe my behavior is not appropriate. I learnt how to act(not that good) this year and honestly there is hardly anytime when I don’t like acting now.

I still have to learn how to clear my head from distractions. I am learning how to let the past go. And maybe, just maybe I’ll be able to help others along the way.

How do I learn?
I read novels. I watch movies. Mind you none of these are superficial type. I watch around, I observe people, animals, trees and skies. I learn from any source, all I could learn. I learned from family, I learned from my dog.
But I could say that me teaching studies is nothing compared to life giving lessons. Lessons can’t be more permanent.  Nothing gives a more harder lesson.

I don’t know when I’ll write after this because my exams start this week on 13th and end next month after so.

Let’s see what others wrote about this:
http://dcmontreal.wordpress.com/2013/09/26/consider-teacher-turnover-rate-when-choosing-a-school/
http://aimanpeer.wordpress.com/2014/05/05/this-is-called-a-beautiful-relationship/
http://jdhager.wordpress.com/2014/05/03/one-step-at-a-time/
http://hbobis.wordpress.com/2014/05/05/student-teacher/
http://bumblepuppies.wordpress.com/2014/05/05/talking-about-communism-insults-my-intelligence/
http://impartialme.wordpress.com/2014/05/05/student-teacher-the-most-influential-person-in-my-life/
http://neverstationary.wordpress.com/2013/05/08/the-english-teacher/
http://louisebleger.wordpress.com/2014/05/05/teaching-students/
The Assault: Part 4: Mulisch’s Five Times
http://dljordanwriting.wordpress.com/2014/05/05/to-teach-a-teacher-a-tale-of-a-student-and-a-teacher/
http://artfullyaspiring.wordpress.com/2014/05/05/how-to-be-happy/
http://angelocrux.wordpress.com/2014/04/20/gabriel-garcia-marquez/
http://angelocrux.wordpress.com/2014/05/02/srsly/
http://joearlam.wordpress.com/2014/05/05/weighty-matters/
http://marthakennedy.wordpress.com/2014/05/05/teacher/
Lessons from my foster children
http://professoradrstilettorockstar.wordpress.com/2014/05/05/607/
http://alienorajt.wordpress.com/2014/05/05/imagination-exercise-student-teacher/
http://risingrave28.wordpress.com/2014/05/05/ludic-memories-a-path-almost-taken/
http://imagineimmortality.wordpress.com/2014/05/05/things-movies-have-taught-me/
Food Taught Me Everything I Ever Needed To Know About Life
http://abrbook.com/2014/05/05/life-is-my-teacher/
http://earnestlyextraneous.wordpress.com/2014/05/05/how-to-cut-your-hair/
http://speculativeparadigmshifts.wordpress.com/2014/05/05/the-monty-hall-game-show-paradox/
http://haiverer.wordpress.com/2014/05/05/student-teacher/
Student versus Teacher – Memories of the Classroom
http://thisisthelogblog.wordpress.com/2014/05/02/physics-of-a-good-poop/
http://advocacyautismspecialneeds.wordpress.com/2014/05/06/vision-for-the-future/
http://plaridel.wordpress.com/2014/05/05/teacher-extraordinaire/
http://www.rejoicebeloved.com/dear-student-i-was-wrong/
I Could Teach Someone A Thing Or Two
http://balidaily.wordpress.com/2014/05/06/learning-my-culture/
http://attrelat.wordpress.com/2014/05/06/ido/
http://asnappshot.wordpress.com/2014/05/06/weekly-writing-challenge-student-teacher/
http://thinkinglanguages.wordpress.com/2014/05/06/teachers-cannot-teach/
http://shakespearesgal.wordpress.com/2014/05/06/a-horse-is-never-just-a-horse/
http://lindaswritingblog.wordpress.com/2014/05/06/student-teacher/
http://emotionalfitnesstraining.com/2014/05/06/lessons-from-my-foster-children/
The Perils of Giving Advice
http://makingadancer.wordpress.com/2014/05/05/teachers/
http://maryjmelange.wordpress.com/2014/05/06/learn-24/
http://insearchoflostmuchness.wordpress.com/2014/05/06/lesson-learnt/
http://innatejames.wordpress.com/2014/05/06/the-trouble-with-women/
Tech Tip: Part 2
http://advocacyautismspecialneeds.wordpress.com/2014/05/06/learning-how-we-learn/
A Letter In Trees
http://thebohemianrockstarpresents.wordpress.com/2014/05/06/how-to-get-another-chance/
http://roseseilerscott.wordpress.com/2014/05/06/weekly-writing-challenge-student-teacher-keeping-the-88-straight/
http://mrthomas16.wordpress.com/2014/05/07/student-teacher/
http://bellemorgen.wordpress.com/2014/05/07/parent-reconstructed/
http://cindyshea.wordpress.com/2014/05/07/writing-challenge-lessons/
http://mahitravel.wordpress.com/2014/05/07/writing-challenge-student-teacher/
http://spiritgrind.com/2014/05/07/i-am-not-broken-teacher/
http://blackstargalaxy.wordpress.com/2014/05/07/the-value-of-money-is-a-bar-of-gold/

Guest Lecturer – Dosen Tamu


http://jdhager.wordpress.com/2014/05/04/hope-springs-eternal/
http://parchmentcadenza.wordpress.com/2014/05/07/sleep-better/
http://apathoflivingstones.wordpress.com/2014/05/07/on-coke-and-mentos/
http://rebeccabarray.com/2014/05/07/photography-craft-exposure-triangle-overview/
http://tomboyforlife.wordpress.com/2014/05/07/weekly-writing-challenge-student-teacher/
http://sonotsimple.wordpress.com/2014/05/07/life-echoes-on-your-face/
http://justbeverity.wordpress.com/2014/05/07/daily-post-weekly-writing-challenge-student-teacher-jo-and-verity/
http://cornedbeefhashtag.wordpress.com/2014/05/07/how-to-be-homeless/
http://mallorykessen.wordpress.com/2014/05/07/student-teacher-response-to-daily-post/
http://noleksiak089.wordpress.com/2014/05/07/weekly-writing-challenge-student-teacher/
http://theempathyqueen.wordpress.com/2014/05/08/if-life-werent-so-crazy-we-would-all-go-insane/
My Child, My Teacher
http://thatfinancechic.com/2014/05/07/what-i-learned-from-the-kentucky-derby/
http://justmomentarily.com/2014/05/08/a-whisper-of-a-thing/
http://mermaidtresses.wordpress.com/2014/05/08/its-just-scrambled-egg/
Student, Teacher. And me in Between
http://lovehappynotes.com/2014/05/08/its-a-beautiful-world-come-out-to-play/
http://rockandrollsupermom.wordpress.com/2014/05/08/you-learn-something-new-every-day/
The Oblivion of Amphibians
Is that Good Science? A Guide to Cutting through BS
http://jdhager.wordpress.com/2014/05/08/smart-phones-make-us-dumber/
http://icelandica.net/2014/05/08/horse-lessons/
http://melanielynngriffin.wordpress.com/2014/05/08/native-american-wisdom/
http://lovehappynotes.com/2014/05/09/baggage-check/
http://lovehappynotes.com/2014/05/03/a-better-life/
http://www.gaiagazette.com/native-american-wisdom/
http://normashilpi.wordpress.com/2014/05/09/sometimes-student-sometimes-teacher/
http://eclecticali.wordpress.com/2014/05/09/weekly-challenge-and-blogging-101-unite/
Bachelor’s Degree Bargain
http://chemistrychristianityandme.wordpress.com/2014/05/09/life-skills-learnt-in-my-chemistry-ph-d/
http://lifesunfilteredramblings.wordpress.com/2014/05/09/learning-to-ask-for-help/
Lessons Without Walls
There has to be an app for that… Teens, Communication and Modern Vampire Parenting
http://rabiscosdaju.wordpress.com/2014/05/09/aprendendo-e-ensinando-para-a-eternidade/
http://burbujachica.wordpress.com/2014/05/10/weekly-writing-challenge-student-teacher/
http://thafreebird.wordpress.com/2014/05/10/teacher-more-than-an-educationist/
http://maria9saif.wordpress.com/2014/05/08/introverts-here-we-are-this-is-us/

Possesion


Pride and Joy

Yesterday night while coming home I saw a couple carrying a big plastic bag. I would have ignored them if not for the line of stray dogs following them. And as I watched I saw them take some food(leftovers or freshly made I don’t know) and give it to the dogs. The dogs hogged the thing down in a matter of minutes. And then almost every dog received a good scratch behind his/her ears.

I watched because sometimes even I have done something similar. I watched because I have seen many other people do the same. I watched because my dog was also a stray dog before we adopted him. I watched because in watching those dogs hungrily gulp down their viand there’s a sense of satisfaction(Maybe, I don’t know the exact feeling)

Today’s post is about prized possession. If not obvious by now then I’ll say; for me it is my four year old mongrel Jimmy.
IMG_20140430_181146
Why?

Here’s a list of things my dog taught me:

1. Get as much petting(pampering) as you could:

Do I have to explain this? Simple. Take as much pampering you could get, and best close your eyes, flatten your ears as someone scratches your head(figuratively)

2. Never say NO to food:

Dogs I think are too cunning. They have this big brown eyes and surprisingly they twinkle at the time when you are having their favourite food. Try saying no to those twinkling puppy eyes, I dare you! Yes it is a sort of competition in the household now every time meat is made. Jimmy easily hogs down at double the speed than I am even capable of. And it is the same for any of his dinner, meat or veggie.

3. Have a deep sleep:

No matter what, always have a deep sleep. And never have a frown in your sleep, you could sleep with you doggie grin but I don’t think it will as funny for humans as it will be for dogs.

4. Be friendly to everyone:

Ironically this only applies of you are a human interacting with my dog. But if you are a pet owner with a male dog then your dog is my dog’s nemesis. Similarly, any dog is an archenemy if they so much as come near to sniffing a bitch’s butt. My dog goes berserk, at times it is like I have Hulk on lease. Wait, this point doesn’t count.

5. Show your gratitude:

Main point. A simple act. Licking. After their food’s are ravished or their pampering is done, my dog just turns to me and licks my fingers clean. At times he places his head on my knee and looks at me with those big brown eyes. Sometimes he bows his head down and keeps his head locked at my knees. And he doesn’t leave till a scratch or some words of appreciation isn’t given. That is the routine. And I would like to believe that each and every one of this behavior is a Thank You. No words are uttered neither is any sound made. Yet the message is conveyed. Thank you. And in this simple act I realized that while we humans say thank you, write down our appreciation we couldn’t come close to make the receiver understand the depth of our feelings. Words fail our feelings. And this is the crux of what I learned. Sometimes our gratitude has to be conveyed through actions rather than simple cliché words.

Let’s see what others have written:
http://knowledgeaddiction.wordpress.com/2014/02/25/jamming/
http://ambitiousdrifter.wordpress.com/2014/04/29/imagination-is-my-prize/
http://jitterygt.wordpress.com/2014/04/29/pride-and-joy-relationships/
Pride and Joy
http://abozdar.wordpress.com/2014/04/29/free-will/
http://abozdar.wordpress.com/2014/04/28/perseverance/
http://tnkerr.wordpress.com/2014/04/29/daily-prompt-pride-and-joy/
PREVIOUSLY PRIZED POSSESSIONS
http://ivymosquito.wordpress.com/2014/04/29/free-your-mind-and-the-rest-will-follow/
http://bobbeck1600.wordpress.com/2014/04/29/pride-and-joy/
http://mylittleavalon.wordpress.com/2014/04/29/prized-possession-a-daily-prompt-post/
http://activearmywife.wordpress.com/2014/04/29/commitment/
http://easterellen.com/2014/04/29/yesteryear/
http://flowersandbreezes.wordpress.com/2014/04/29/life-without-you/
http://harmonyxxx.wordpress.com/2014/04/29/possessive-much/
http://cxianliu.wordpress.com/2014/01/17/my-reputation-as-a-knitter/
http://raspberrydaydreams.wordpress.com/2014/04/29/daily-prompt-pride-and-joy/
http://monicleblog.wordpress.com/2014/04/29/prompt-my-favourite-possesion/
http://silentlyheardonce.wordpress.com/2014/04/29/i-do-not-possess-my-prize-possession-pride-and-joy/
http://kansamuse.me/2014/04/29/pride-and-joy-possessions-have-many-reasons/
pride and joy
http://inkhammer.wordpress.com/2014/04/29/lucky-coin/
http://littlegirlstory.wordpress.com/2014/04/30/its-cold-but-i-have-my-pride-and-joy/
http://jaynesdailypost.wordpress.com/2014/04/29/pride-and-joy/
#DailyPrompt: Pride and Joy
http://eastelmhurstagogo.wordpress.com/2014/04/29/the-forerunner/
http://rheyofsunshine.wordpress.com/2014/04/29/pride-and-joy-whats-in-my-bag/

Do You Prize Your Peace of Mind?


The Daily Prompt: Pride and Joy in Person
http://kate0murray.wordpress.com/2014/04/29/puppy-love/
http://robssurfreport.com/2014/04/29/daily-haiku-2014-04-29/
http://myatheistblog.com/2014/04/29/pride-and-joy/
http://lesiesworld.wordpress.com/2014/04/29/am-i-right-or-am-i-right/
http://ccchampagne.wordpress.com/2014/04/29/my-most-prized-possession/
http://agarmontconfession.com/2014/04/29/prized-possession/
http://nenskeifacestheworld.wordpress.com/2014/04/29/i-am-a-degree-holder/
http://tornin2.wordpress.com/2014/04/29/my-pride-and-joy/
http://mewhoami.wordpress.com/2014/04/29/the-sweetest-guy-i-know/
http://www.rejoicebeloved.com/a-mothers-hands/
http://angelamccauley.wordpress.com/2014/04/29/pride-and-joy-what-are-your-greatest-possessions/
http://mirakraz.wordpress.com/2014/04/29/stupid/
http://myrandomthoughts365.wordpress.com/2014/04/29/pride-and-joy/
http://imagineimmortality.wordpress.com/2014/04/29/pride-and-joy/
http://willowscottling.wordpress.com/2014/04/29/possessions-possessions/
http://artmoscow.wordpress.com/2014/04/29/possessing-russia-in-condensed-form/
http://danilobortoli.wordpress.com/2014/04/29/posse/
http://lindaswritingblog.wordpress.com/2014/04/29/daily-prompt-pride-and-joy/
http://insearchoflostmuchness.wordpress.com/2014/04/29/my-room-lizard-central/
http://kashmirgirl1976.wordpress.com/2014/04/29/brain-matter/
http://gonnamove.wordpress.com/2014/04/29/my-most-prized-possession/
http://alreadyhavingfun.wordpress.com/2014/04/29/prides-and-joys/
http://www.nocrybabies.net/2014/04/12-steps-self-care/
http://ordibild.com/2014/04/29/my-presschioussss/
http://elisapreston.com/2014/04/29/pride-joy-my-husbands-heart/
http://carolsalisbury.wordpress.com/2014/04/29/writing-the-healthy-addiction/
http://yorkhull.wordpress.com/2014/04/29/my-favourite-book/
http://peacefulblessedstar.wordpress.com/2014/04/29/my-prized-possession-the-daily-prompt/
Scrapbooks: Daily Post
http://elizabeth1813.wordpress.com/2014/04/29/what-wont-end-up-in-a-box/
http://thebohemianrockstarpresents.wordpress.com/2014/04/29/the-very-heart-of-me-2/
Pride & Joy, Prized Possessions
http://barbarapyett.wordpress.com/2014/04/30/our-library-is-our-pride-and-joy-daily-prompt/
http://djgarcia94.wordpress.com/2014/04/29/my-wallet/
http://10eveningflowers.wordpress.com/2014/04/30/all-you-bloggers-yes-you-are-my-pride-and-your-appreciation-is-a-pure-joy/
http://ditchthebun.wordpress.com/2014/04/30/pride-joy/
http://viewsplash.wordpress.com/2014/04/30/baptized-in-the-river/
http://mohanpuja.wordpress.com/2014/04/30/my-pride-and-joy/
http://haphazardlyharpingon.wordpress.com/2014/04/30/daily-prompt-pride-and-joy/
http://tonkadella.wordpress.com/2014/04/30/most-prized-noticing-beauty/
http://adorablyobnoxious.wordpress.com/2014/04/30/daily-prompt-pride-and-joy/
http://helpalittle.wordpress.com/2014/04/30/my-worldly-possessions-and-inner-joys/